Fact: Jay-Z is a UK fan.
Debatable fact: Jay-Z is a member of the Illuminati.
Google the phrase “Jay-Z Illuminati” and you get nearly three million results. Pictures of Jay-Z in 1939 Harlem, the similarity between his Roc symbol and the all-seeing eye, and his weird video for “On To The Next One”- as Ally Tucker will argue until she’s blue in the face, these are all signs that Jay-Z is a high-ranking member of one of the most popular organizations in the world. And as (allegedly) one of these Illuminati, it only makes sense that his lyrics have hidden messages for the rest of the world to decode. HEY WAIT- “Decoded” is the name of his autobiography. Whoaaaaaaaa, dude.
As everyone on the Internet knows, Jay-Z just released his latest masterpiece, Magna Carta Holy Grail. In the song “Heaven,” Jay addresses the Illuminati rumors head-on: “Conspiracy theorists screaming Illuminati/They can’t believe this much skill is in the human body.” Is he mocking us? Admitting something? Taunting us? Who knows? But for now, let’s put on our conspiracy hats and examine some MGHC lyrics to see if Jay dropped any slick references to his second-favorite kind of Blue.
La Familia: “My brother is my brother like my brother is.” A clear reference to one of Calipari’s favorite platitudes about players becoming their brother’s keeper. Become your brother’s keeper, gain entrance to La Familia- aka the Illuminati.
Holy Grail- “I got it tattoed on my sleeve, forever in ink with guess whose name” Even Jay-Z thinks Rick Pitino’s tattoo was a mistake- a mistake that he gets to laugh at forever. And ever. And ever.
Open Letter- “Boy from the hood got White House clearance.” Jon Hood, a member of Kentucky’s 2012 championship team who got to visit the White House. Obviously.
Somewhereinamerica: “Might crash ya Internet.” Obviously Jay-Z tried to log on to KSR the day Calipari was hired.
Holy Grail: “One day you’re screaming you love me loud, the next day you’re so cold.” Does this sound like a certain maniacal fan base to anybody else? No? Just me? Oh.
Holy Grail: “I got haters in the paper.” No other explanation- Jay-Z understands how Calipari feels any time Jerry Tipton raises his hand at a press conference.