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“Sir, is that a Panty on Your Lap?”

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Sometimes stories are so bizarre that one doesnt even need to make jokes to accentuate the humor. Take the continued developing affair of soon-to-be-fired Georgia Athletic Director Damon Evans. Now lets say that you are a married man, Athletic Director at a major SEC University and you have decided to drive home after having (by your account) three vodka martinis. That would be a bad decision. But lets say you compounded it by having a young woman in the car who is not your wife. That would certainly make it worse. But then what if you took the “bad decision jeans” even a step further and had that woman’s red panties sitting on your lap when the police officer pulled you over under suspicion of drunken driving. Well my friends, that would be awful. And such is the case for Damon Evans.

We could make jokes about this event (my thought is that Beisner got pulled over in a similar situation, with Drew’s boxers on his lap…but that was just a first draft), but honestly there is no need. What is much better is for you to simply read the police report yourself. The comedy there certainly beats out anything on Network tv and is more interesting than any article you will read in the Herald Leader. One thing it should showcase to you above all else…when in doubt, dont play the “do you know who I am?” defense and always, no matter the situation, hide the panties.

Article written by Matt Jones