It’s the end of the world, as we know it, but Cal feels fine.
Over the past few days, I’ve talked a lot about the impending apocalypse scheduled to occur tomorrow, 12/21/12, the end of the Mayan calendar. Some of you may shout, “LUDICROUS, Kristen, LUDICROUS! The Mayans didn’t factor in leap years! Vladmir Putin says we have another 4.5 billion years! The fat lady hasn’t sung!” All that may be true, friends. However, I’m cautious when it comes to the end of the world, and I’ve realized that signs of the apoCALypse are all around us in Big Blue Nation- if we just take a moment to look. Some of them have already happened! Read over my list, and if you see any one of these omens come to fruition, you’ll know it’s time to take shelter in your underground bunker. Save me a spot, and don’t forget your three goggles. ApoCALypse NOW!
-Someone poops ice cream.
-No Kentucky fans hate Mitch Barnhart right now.
-KSR goes a full 24 hours without a sassy post in the comments section that reduces Corey Nichols to tears.
-UK football is the hot topic of conversation… in December.
-Cal tells reporters, “I don’t like my team.”
-Nerlens Noel gets a different hair cut.
-The UK women are ranked… the UK men, however, are not.
-Coach Cal gets a magic wand.
-Stone Cold Willow becomes a nationwide phenomena and films a YouTube video that garners more views than “Gangnam Style.” He also retires Twitter After Dark.
-Kentucky football gets the center spot on the cover of EA Sports NCAA Football 2013.
-A famous rapper dresses up as Anthony Davis for Halloween.
-Jarnell Stokes learns how to stretch.
-Doron Lamb sleeps.
-“The Ellen” becomes a salad special at Josie’s.
-Bobby Knight invites Coach Cal to tea.
-Billy Gillispie gets sober.
-Kyle Wiltjer dunks.
-Kyle Wiltjer dunks over someone.
-Erin Calipari eats meat. John Calipari eats vegetables.
-Indiana commemorates a December win on a popcorn box.
-Brian Long writes a four page thank you letter to all of Big Blue Nation to showcase his appreciation.
What else could be a sign of the apoCALypse?