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Signs of the ApoCALypse


It’s the end of the world, as we know it, but Cal feels fine.


Over the past few days, I’ve talked a lot about the impending apocalypse scheduled to occur tomorrow, 12/21/12, the end of the Mayan calendar. Some of you may shout, “LUDICROUS, Kristen, LUDICROUS! The Mayans didn’t factor in leap years! Vladmir Putin says we have another 4.5 billion years! The fat lady hasn’t sung!” All that may be true, friends. However, I’m cautious when it comes to the end of the world, and I’ve realized that signs of the apoCALypse are all around us in Big Blue Nation- if we just take a moment to look. Some of them have already happened! Read over my list, and if you see any one of these omens come to fruition, you’ll know it’s time to take shelter in your underground bunker. Save me a spot, and don’t forget your three goggles. ApoCALypse NOW!


-Someone poops ice cream. 

-No Kentucky fans hate Mitch Barnhart right now.

-KSR goes a full 24 hours without a sassy post in the comments section that reduces Corey Nichols to tears.

-UK football is the hot topic of conversation… in December.

-Cal tells reporters, “I don’t like my team.”

-Nerlens Noel gets a different hair cut.

-The UK women are ranked… the UK men, however, are not. 

-Coach Cal gets a magic wand.

-Stone Cold Willow becomes a nationwide phenomena and films a YouTube video that garners more views than “Gangnam Style.” He also retires Twitter After Dark.

-Kentucky football gets the center spot on the cover of EA Sports NCAA Football 2013. 

-A famous rapper dresses up as Anthony Davis for Halloween.


-Jarnell Stokes learns how to stretch.

-Doron Lamb sleeps.

-“The Ellen” becomes a salad special at Josie’s.

-Bobby Knight invites Coach Cal to tea.

-Billy Gillispie gets sober.

-Kyle Wiltjer dunks. 

-Kyle Wiltjer dunks over someone.

-Erin Calipari eats meat. John Calipari eats vegetables.

-Indiana commemorates a December win on a popcorn box.

-Brian Long writes a four page thank you letter to all of Big Blue Nation to showcase his appreciation.


What else could be a sign of the apoCALypse?



Article written by Kristen Geil

9 Comments for Signs of the ApoCALypse

  1. Joe
    8:32 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    Another stupid post. Seriously, how are you all allowed to post here still? Nothing but garbage. If you don’t have anything to write about, just don’t post.

  2. Shut The F Up
    8:42 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink


  3. Cole
    8:44 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    1) I dont get why you are hating on KSR! Not all posts are meant for you to like!

  4. Brandongy
    8:53 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    I thought for sure this would be a post about the UK media guys talking about #ApocalypticCal on twitter today. just search for that hash tag. there were some pretty funny tweets.

  5. Shut The F Up
    9:07 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    I suck dick and swallow. Matt’s dick tastes so good. Nom nom nom. Ksr does me up the butt daily.

  6. Oh no
    9:36 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    Kids must be out of school, we’ve got the twerp commenters again.

  7. Whoa...
    9:43 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    I actually thought the post was pretty damn funny…

  8. Heisenberg
    9:53 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    John Short switches from Kroger to Meijer

  9. REM
    10:46 pm December 20, 2012 Permalink

    can’t be the end of the world..there’s a slew of new royalty checks in the mail. plus, Cal says “I like this planet. we’ll be OK by March if we start talking.”