OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that’s neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious “that’s what she said” in the headline.
We’d also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in ‘A’ or ‘B’ because these early ones might suck a little.
Boring, Obligatory Vitals
Hometown–Mililani, HI (Mililani)
Unfair comparison to NFL-er: Kimo von Oelhoffen. He’s the only player that I could remember off the top of my head from Hawaii. Perhaps Mabry will also enter the business of shredding precious knee cartilage.
Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: He’s also lived in Germany. Sprichst du Deutsche? Actually, due to his size, I should probably say “sprechen Sie Deutsche.” Ah, grammatical humor.
Something we made up about him: Recites the following Wayne’s World quote before each game: “Mookalakaheeki. Come on, you wanna lei me. Pass the poi, Mahalo.”
Items of legitimate interest: Recorded a couple tackles last year while performing primarily on special teams. He also had an interception against Kent State.
Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: According to our football correspondent Depthur Chartington, Mabry will begin the season as the backup middle linebacker to Micah Johnson.