OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that’s neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious “that’s what she said” in the headline.
We’d also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in ‘A’ or ‘B’ because these early ones might suck a little.
No red jersey, huh?
Boring, Obligatory Vitals
40–5.1 (in high school)
Hometown–Canton, OH (GlenOak)
Unfair comparison to NFL-er: Tall and mobile, Hartline also has a good arm, ala Randall Cunningham. I expect to see a lot of this in the fall.
Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: His brother, Brian, plays for Ohio State. Duh. Also, only had six touchdown passes his senior year. Weird.
Something we made up about him: Spelled his name wrong in this video. If you look closely, you’ll notice he spells “Mike Fartline,” which, while hilarious, is not his name.
Items of legitimate interest: Saw limited action last year as a backup to Andre’ Woodson. Good size, good speed, and a good arm, Hartline would be a worthy replacement to the departed QB. Also, dude’s got a website.
Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: Unless you’ve been under a rock, or in a cave, or whatever lame joke used to portray your ignorance to the daily news, you’ve seen the battle that Hartline and Curtis Pulley have been mired in during the offseason. Hartline was the leader for about an hour, and then Joker Phillips backed off his assessment. The competition will rage on through August, but Hartline is said to have made great strides in the offseason. Will it be enough to overtake Pulley? Dunno.