OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that’s neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious “that’s what she said” in the headline.
We’d also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in ‘A’ or ‘B’ because these early ones might suck a little.
Fighting Ryan Freel’s imaginary friend, Farney
Boring, Obligatory Vitals
Hometown–Knoxville, TN (Central)
Unfair comparison to NFL-er: One of the Colquitt’s. (edit: OK, one of the Gramatica’s.)
Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: Career long field goal is 52 yards, which he made while playing his junior season in Germany.
Something we made up about him: Lived in Germany to escape to ridicule normally reserved for placekickers, and only found that he felt more inadequate because he didn’t play soccer.
Items of legitimate interest: Led the team last season with 99 points, while only missing a single extra point. Made huge kicks in victory over LSU—who apparently was fairly good last year.
Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: Will handle placekicking duties, but not kick-offs.