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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Short and Insufficient Profile: Kyrus Lanxter

OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that’s neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious “that’s what she said” in the headline.

We’d also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in ‘A’ or ‘B’ because these early ones might suck a little.

That could be anyone…but I have reason to believe it’s him.

Boring, Obligatory Vitals

Height–6’3”

Weight–187

40–4.55

Year–Sophomore

Position–Wide Receiver

Hometown–Alcoa, TN (Alcoa)

Unfair comparison to NFL-er: Lynn Swann, who’s also from Alcoa. Hey, look at that, they’re both receivers. Therefore, Lanxter has the pedigree to become a tremendous NFL receiver who makes an impossible catch in the Super Bowl, only to ruin his legacy by going on TV…nice shirt, Sipowicz.

Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: Born in Knoxville. Ewe.

Something we made up about him: Thinks lineman are big, stupid oafs.

Items of legitimate interest: Big play receiver who was a big time prospect out of high school. Game breaker speed and he has the unique ability to make people miss. Chose Kentucky over West Virginia, Tennessee, LouisvilleĀ and others.

Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: Should be healthy by the season’s first game after injuring his hand running into…something. No one has been completely clear about what; it’s kind of a mystery. Anyway, he’s expected to step up and fill the void left by the departed receivers.

Article written by Evan Hilbert