OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that’s neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious “that’s what she said” in the headline.
We’d also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in ‘A’ or ‘B’ because these early ones might suck a little.
Boring, Obligatory Vitals
Hometown–Louisville, KY (Seneca)
Unfair comparison to NFL-er: Bobbie Williams, who plays offensive guard for the Bengals—at least what’s left of ’em! Hi-yo!!! Take that, Marvin Lewis!
Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: In high school, he led Seneca to their first ever #1 state ranking.
Something we made up about him: Was nicknamed “scary Gary” in middle school because of his size, but his classmates realized that he had two r’s in his name, so they had to rename him “scarry Garry.” Totally changes the nickname.
Items of legitimate interest: Was named most outstanding offensive lineman on the team in 2006; second team All-SEC last season, and was named offensive lineman of the week when he graded out at 88%. I’m not entirely sure what that means, but some know-it-all will google it, and tell me how stupid I am in the comments. Stick around, it will be fun.
Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: Has started the last 25 games at left tackle, formerly Dre’s blind-side. He will remain there to protect Hartline’s.