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Seeing the Future? The All-White Basketball League

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A “below the surface” story in the last few days has been the attempt by a businessman in the South to start an “All-White Professional Basketball League.” The individual has come up with a plan that would include teams in 12 Southern cities and the notion that fans would flock out to see the best in ball screens and scrappy defense that a man could find. One of the mayors of the towns proposed (Augusta, Ga) has already said he isnt interested and the league is likely to go nowhere. But that doesnt stop us from wondering…what would such a league look like?

Today on Twitter, some of the funnier college basketball journalists proposed some rule changes and events in the All-White League. Some highlights:

GREGG DOYEL: CBS Sportsline:

— 9 Foot Rims

GARY PARRISH: CBS Sportsline:

— Floor slaps worth 2 points

— Annual bonus for “working as hard as anybody” and “having a great motor”

— Would Joe Alexander still get picked in the lottery?

— Play of the Game changed to “Screen of the Game”

— Major Stats are: points, rebounds, assists and Basketball IQ

— Already banned cards on planes but inserted Golden Tee into every locker room (I like this one)

DAN WETZEL: Yahoo Sports:

— Wonder Bread is the title sponsor

— One point for solid picks, crafty bounce passes and underhanded free throws

— Team Names would include the “Jager Bombs”

I liked all those suggestions and thought that we should also add the following MATT JONES suggestions:

— Problems because teams have trouble following orders with so many “coaches on the floor”

— Pregame warmups changed from rap to Dave Matthews

— Jerry West Logo changed to Greg Paulus slapping the floor

— Robert Byrd is appointed Commissioner with a Board of Directors that includes Trent Lott, Harry Reid, Micheal Richards, John Rocker and (bizarrely) Micheal Steele.

— Duke automatically promoted to one of the 12 franchises.

So I think there are still lots of comedy untapped on this issue. What say you? Suggestions as to what the league will look like, rules, etc?

Article written by Matt Jones