Salute your Jorts!

Well, Josh, it was the best of times, and it was the worst of times; it was the season of darkness, it was the season of light. And through it all, you kept us laughing. From being trapped in the bathroom stall (still waiting on Drew Franklin to recreate that R. Kelly masterpiece) to breaking out “The Carlton” at Midnight Madness, you were our constant in the Big Blue storm.

As the lady of the KSR Compound, I feel it is my duty to get a little “Mother Hen”ish. Given your penchant for denim, I thought I’d put together a little “Salute Your Jorts” Fashion Guide for post-collegiate life.

Party Jorts – Like an old friend. Frayed, broken-in, and ready to chill.

Eastern European Jorts – What if you get a job playing basketball in Europe and find yourself without a bathing suit when the rest of the team goes to the beach? These are perfect. Inspired by Borat, these denim suspenders express your patriotism and your sense of fun and folly.

Professional Jorts – Once you’re done with basketball, you may need a good, honest, 9-5 office job. Since blue jeans are generally frowned upon in the workplace on days other than Friday, you might want to invest in a pair of black denim shorts…all the class, but none of the trash. This will let your employers know that between 8-5, Monday through Friday, you mean business, but you’re still “Jorts.”

Pajama Jorts – You’ve seen the infomercial. You can’t deny you were slightly intrigued, albeit a little disgusted. As long as you don’t wear them in public, I don’t see a problem with lounging around the house in your Pajama Jorts (or pajamorts?).

Baby Jorts – One day you will meet a lucky lady, let’s call her Daisy Dukes, and you’ll probably have a Baby Jorts. What better way to carry on the tradition?

Dad Jorts – For a little later in life. These are perfect for Saturdays at Home Depot, followed by coaching the kids’ basketball team, and catching the UK game at Applebee’s. The sensible and flattering fit will be forgiving for all those pies Mrs. Daisy Jorts makes.

For your awesome play on the court and your daring fashion choices off it, Josh “Jorts” Harrellson, we salute you.