For my generation, Office Space may be the perfect movie. Every time I rewatch the 1999 classic, I find something new to laugh at, from the “jump to conclusions” mat, to Michael Bolton’s unfortunate name, to Milton’s red stapler, and all 15 pieces of flair on Jennifer Aniston’s suspenders. Anyone who has ever worked in an office has dreamed of taking the unruly fax machine/copier/printer/computer out in a field and beating it with a bat, and had a boss like Bill Lumbergh. They’ve probably also had a cube neighbor with a high whiny voice (looking at you, BTI), or one who listens to the radio from 9 to 11 (grr, Aaron Flener). In fact, if you’ve done the 8-5 corporate routine, odds are you fantasize about pulling a Peter Gibbons and joining Team NF at the office once a week. For bringing that fantasy to life on screen, I will always love Ron Livingston.
Livingston’s been in a number of other movies and TV shows, including “Sex and the City,” in which he made women around the country rethink their stance on Post-Its. He was in Swingers and The Cooler, and “Band of Brothers.” But to me, he’ll always be the guy who gutted a fish on his desk.
Happy 46th birthday, Ron. I’m going to take a bat to the KSR fax machine given to us by Richie Farmer in your honor.
“Why not chase” 40-0?
Who said the radio show would be boring in Matt’s absence? On Tuesday, CBS’ Gregg Doyel stepped in and hit it out of the park, with special guests Dan Dakich and John Calipari. Despite Dakich’s best attempt to play nice for the BBN, Calipari’s appearance was definitely the highlight of the show. Cal trotted out his best lines (“Michael Kidd-Gilchrist took the 4th most shots, Anthony Davis the 5th most shots,” “Players first,” etc.) and, in true Cal fashion, took over the interview. He spent most of the time defending his team’s quest to go undefeated, mentioning three of his past teams in particular that had tried that and failed: 1996 UMass, 2008 Memphis, and 2012 Kentucky. Cal recognizes a similar thirst for greatness in this group and asked “Why can’t you think that way? …Why not chase it? Everyone says it can’t be done, let’s go for it.”
Sounds good to me, Coach.
To all the critics who point to last season’s struggles as proof that Kentucky’s expectations are way too high this season: Cal has a quote for you too. “I knew we weren’t very good last year. I knew our guard play wasn’t what it would need to be. I knew that the first game of the year, I could tell.”
Cal showed off his softer side as well, opening up about why he loves the song “Hey Soul Sister.” Cal said that it’s his and his wife’s special song and that whenever it comes on the radio, one of them will call the other and they’ll listen to it together. Nice, Cal…that’s almost enough to make up for you comparing your wife’s dancing to Elaine’s from “Seinfeld.” No brownies for you!
The freshmen roll into town
Julius Randle, Dakari Johnson, Dominique Hawkins, and Derek Willis have arrived in Lexington, and by now, are probably at Target with their parents shopping for shower caddies and yaffa blocks. The rest of the freshmen will join them soon. Word to the wise guys: don’t go for the case of Easy Mac. It seems tempting, but you’ve got Chef Chris downstairs ready to make you whatever you want.
Boogie’s going to camp
On Tuesday, we found out that DeMarcus Cousins received an invitation to the Team USA Mini-Camp in July. This comes as a surprise to some, since last summer, Jerry Colangelo said Cousins would have to grow up in order to represent his country, but Colangelo said that it’s a “new year, new summer, and new opportunity” for the talented big man. Cousins has definitely had bouts of immaturity since entering the league, but he seems to be taking all the necessary steps to change that. At the end of the regular season, Cousins opened up to Bleacher Report about being cast at the league’s villain and how he’s misunderstood, and recently shot down rumors that he wants to be traded. Boogie will join his buddy John Wall and Anthony Davis at the mini-camp. Let’s hope he shows Colangelo and Coach K just how much he’s grown.
Matt Elam picks up an offer from Ohio State
On the football side of things, Elizabethtown defensive tackle Matt Elam had a big day. Not only did Elam receive an invitation to the US Army All-American Bowl in January, but he picked up an offer from Ohio State as well. Elam is finishing up a visit to Alabama, and will head to Kentucky early next week to visit with the staff and 2014 commitments. He plans to announce his college decision at the US Army AA Bowl, which will also feature Drew Barker. Hopefully Kentucky’s “Come Be a Hero” campaign is enough to hold off offers from two of the top teams in the country. We’ll have more on the site about this on Wednesday, but if Elam does decide to come to UK, I believe his commitment will be just as important as Drew Barker’s for the future of the program.
And now in your odd news of the day…
College coaches will say some crazy things to get kids to commit to their schools. Tom Crean will tell you he’s thinking about you a lot (a whole lot), Scott Drew will text you every day and litter your front porch with flyers, and Roy Williams will try to blind you with a box of championship rings. But an unnamed elite college coach recruiting five-star defensive end Da’Shawn Hand may take the cake. According to Hand, the coach said that since he’s the number one player in the country, he was going to arrange for Hand to meet Michael Jackson. After Hand pointed out that Jackson had been dead for four years, the coach said “Well, all right, you can meet Tito.” Hand said after that, he was “done.”
When he wasn’t dissing his wife’s dance moves or calling Matt “a lawyer with a bad voice,” Calipari was meeting with his friend, Matthew Bradford. We’ve mentioned Bradford on the site before; he’s a Marine who was wounded in Iraq by a roadside bomb that cost him both of his legs and his eyesight. Bradford was introduced to the crowd at Rupp last season and is a big fan of the radio show. Apparently he and Cal keep in touch, and Bradford stopped by to pick up his autographed piece of the 2012 National Championship floor. Cal wrote this about the meeting today: “Matthew Bradford stopped by the office today. Not only is he one of our heroes, I’m proud to call him a friend. Every time I see Matt, I’m absolutely amazed at his positive outlook on his life and his family’s life.”
Amen. Thank you for your service, Matt.
Finally, don’t forget to submit your questions for “Dear Mrs. Tyler,” my new advice column I’ll be launching later this week. Got a Big Blue dilemma? Let me solve it. Submit questions via email or Twitter (use the hashtag #DearMrsTyler).
The fun doesn’t stop on Wednesday, starting with BTI’s latest masterpiece and Ryan Lemond’s football roundtable from 10 to 12. See you then.