Hello, Friends. With news breaking earlier this week that Louisiana State University’s own beloved Mike the Tiger passed earlier this week, we at Kentucky Sports Radio felt and respected the sadness around the SEC whenever a majestic creature like Mike passes.
Unfortunately, Mike wasn’t the only NCAA Mascot who left us this past week. It’s truly been a hard week for mascots, and we’d like to pay the same respects to Mike’s NCAA brethren as was paid to him throughout the week in a memorial post to the other NCAA mascots who left us this week, the week of October 7-14.
Revered Tennessee Volunteers representative Smokey, the bluetick coonhound who has so faithfully represented the university for many years, was struck by a passing garbage truck on Tuesday despite repeated warnings to return to the porch. He was a good boy. A good, good boy.
Distinguished British Royal Navy officer Mr. C passed as a result of injuries from the sinking of his ship on Monday. Mr. C, who made his fortune in shipping and once commandeered a formidable task force of vessels, had reportedly been living inside a meager lifestyle inside a fiberglass pirate ship at the Kids & Karts miniature golf course off I-24. As unspoken maritime law dictates, the Commodore went down with his ship, whereupon he struck his head on a cement T-rex and could not be revived.
Reclusive hermit and Providence College icon Friar Dom was beaten to death by a terrified mob Wednesday evening while on a walk in the woods on the outskirts of the city despite frantic hand motions that he meant no harm. Authorities are still investigating the incident, which they are calling a result of “natural human fear.”
Purdue University employee Purdue Peter, 43, died as a result of a malfunctioning boiler explosion Thursday morning. The longtime university maintenance worker was making standard repairs when his head was caught between two closely placed beams, making it impossible for him to escape. Donations may be made to the Cerebral Gigantism Research Society of West Lafayette.
Unofficial Stanford University mascot The Tree was bulldozed early Monday morning as part of developments for the Poplar Branch Crossings Shopping Center. It is survived by a Panda Express.
James Edward WuShock, 29, was harvested on Tuesday afternoon in preparation of Wichita State University’s upcoming Parents’ Weekend Brunch Pastry Buffet. Those wishing to pay their respects can do so between the bagels and the donuts, about halfway down. If you reach the danishes you’ve gone too far. As per his family’s wishes, he will be toasted.
Sammy the Slug
University of California Santa Cruz representative and anthropomorphic banana slug Samuel “Sammy” the Slug was found dried up behind the Chemistry Building early Wednesday morning. He is expected to be replaced as soon as the university can locate another banana slug. According to a UCSB press release, Sammy “served the university well. He will be missed and left in the yard.”