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Recruiting Wiggins: What Will Roy Do?

Roy Williams

I wrote this at 7:30 a.m. this morning, prior to the news that Wiggins canceled his visits and plans to talk with the coaches by phone instead. Humor me and read it anyway so I don’t feel like I wasted a very early Monday morning at the KSR office. Those are rare around here. Very, very rare.

 

Andrew Wiggins will sit down with talk over the phone with the head coaches from three of his remaining four schools this week before making a final decision on his basketball future. Roy Williams and North Carolina will meet chat with him today, followed by Bill Self and Kansas tomorrow and Leonard Hamilton and Florida State on Wednesday.

After a few discussions with people in the know, mainly our relatives and the cashier at Five Guys, KSR has a pretty good idea as to what tricks each coach will pull out from under their sleeves.

Today, we’ll explore Roy Williams’ gameplan for UNC’s final attempt to win the Andrew Wiggins Sweepstakes. It’s full of high fructose corn syrup.

 

Offer him an ice cold Coca-Cola.

Roy Williams switched to Sprite Zero a couple years ago to cut back on his sugar intake, but he still cracks open an ice cold Coca-Cola once every two or three weeks, he says. Today, Roy will likely pop the tops on a couple glass-bottled Cokes before he makes one final pitch to Andrew Wiggins. It’s an odd tactic, some might even call it old school, but Ol’ Roy has relied on the sweet, carbonated, caffeinated beverage for over 35 years.

— “Son, I use-ta drink a Coke-Cola evra day after school. Now put down that daggum Canada Dry and drink one with me for the Universita of North Carolina.”

 

Show off the rings.

Williams made headlines last fall when he showed up to Julius Randle’s house in Plano, Texas with a case holding 30 rings, commemorating anything from conference championships, to Final Four berths to national titles.

Though the move didn’t work with Randle, one can expect Roy to flaunt UNC’s decades of finger jewelry to Andrew Wiggins during today’s visit.

— “See this one? That there is the 2009 NCAA Championship ring. Tyler Hansburra was a supastar that season. Come be my Tyler Hansburra.”

 

Compare him to Michael Jordan.

Andrew Wiggins is often called the “Michael Jordan of Canada,” so you better believe Michael Jordan will play a big role in Williams’ sales pitch. Jordan led the Tar Heels to the 1982 NCAA Championship before going on to become the greatest player in NBA history, so expect Roy to lay out that same path for Wiggins to take on his way to his own NBA greatness.

— “You can be the next Michael Jordan at the Universita of North Carolina. Why aren’t you drinkin’ your Coke-Cola?”

 

Promise him the spotlight.

Unlike John Calipari at Kentucky, Roy Williams relies heavily on his upperclassmen and rarely promises anything to any of his players. Harrison Barnes, the top-ranked recruit coming out of high school in 2010, started as a freshman but wasn’t the focal point of the offense, despite being the most talented player on UNC’s roster that season.

Wiggins, however, will see a new side of Roy Williams. Williams will promise him the spotlight at UNC and all the shots and playing time that comes with it.

— “Tell me, Andrew, is there somethin’ wrong with your Coke-Cola? I want you to be the centerpiece of our offense at North Carolina next season, but you’re gonna have-ta drink up. My mama worked her tail off to give me a dime evraday for a Coke-Cola.”

 

Sell the Parker-Wiggins/Duke-North Carolina rivalry.

Jabari Parker was on the cover of Sports Illustrated last May with the headline, “The Best High School Player Since LeBron James.” Wiggins took offense to the issue because he believed he was the best high school player since LeBron James and he deserved the cover.

Since then, the two friends and the nation’s top two incoming small forwards switched places atop the 2013 recruiting rankings and a friendly rivalry was established. With Parker signed on to suit up for Duke next season, Ol’ Roy will sell Wiggins on the Wiggins-Parker matchup being the headliner for college basketball’s biggest rivalry next season.

— “Wouldn’t you like to play against Jabara Parker two, maybe three, times next season on national TV? I’ll drink to that. Cheers.”

 

Guarantee a National Championship.

It’ll take a whole lot of caffeine to reach this point, but Roy might pull out the ultimate stop and guarantee an NCAA title. With James Michael McAdoo returning, two top 50 recruits in Isaiah Hicks and Kennedy Meeks headlining the freshmen class, and starters Marcus Paige and P.J. Hairston back for another season, North Carolina will be a Final Four contender in 2014. Throw in Wiggins, the missing piece on offense, and UNC is up there with Kentucky for the preseason favorite.

— “Kentucky? They’re like a daggum flat Pepsi that’s been sittin’ in the hot sun all day. Come win it all at the Universita of North Carolina and enjoy a celebratory Coke-Cola with me next April.”

  williams-coke

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

28 Comments for Recruiting Wiggins: What Will Roy Do?



  1. Will
    11:46 am April 22, 2013 Permalink

    TL:DR



  2. do some research
    11:49 am April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Pepsi: “Born in the Carolinas”

    http://imcclass.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/born-in-carolinas.jpg?w=640

    You’re trying to hard with the Coke thing guys.



  3. Roy Williams
    11:55 am April 22, 2013 Permalink

    “Well how do I get this daggum facey time thang to work? I’ve got to show you my 30 rings somehow.”



  4. hOw2sealthedeal
    11:56 am April 22, 2013 Permalink

    me thinX ole’ roy gonna send in MJ 2butt-fvck yung mr. wiggins (lmfao)



  5. seriously?
    11:56 am April 22, 2013 Permalink

    I mean, things must be seriously slow around there for an article like this to be posted. There isn’t one point during the entire article that I would consider funny, informative, or worth while to read. Really, Really Bad, sir.



  6. SexnNursinHomes
    11:58 am April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Thought it was geat Franklin.



  7. Asdf
    12:10 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    5- you must be new to the site…welcome!



  8. Experienced
    12:12 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    True genius would’ve been to use ‘Cheerwine’ instead of ‘Coke’ as your beverage of choice for the post. Seeing as how Cheerwine is a treat from the Carolinas’!!!



  9. Drew Franklin
    12:16 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    5. — I’m sorry for ruining 5 to 6 minutes of your Monday.



  10. J
    12:24 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Coke > Pepsi. Wiggins isn’t coming to Rupp. Dun deal.



  11. Roid Williams
    12:27 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    @5 – I thought it was funny but even if you didnt then I still thought the post did a good job laying out UNCs real selling points. Those points that Drew was making fun of are still the selling points for Wiggins to UNC. Its good to think about what the other schools have to offer for Wiggins. But seriously any article making fun of Ol’ Roy is worth the read.



  12. Michael F. Jox
    12:27 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Since you brought up Harrison Barnes – Anyone else think that dude runs like an uncoordinated wounded kangaroo? Geez. I mean, I couldn’t run for a minute straight at this point and not pass out, but I know for the 30 seconds that I could, I’d look better doing it.



  13. Issel's two front teeth
    12:28 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    #5 Go buy a Kindle, and find something to your liking! this is a blog, not a AP article.



  14. Daggum Roy
    12:28 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    dont know what this coke cola thing is, but i do luv me some col collars.



  15. CJ
    12:42 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Drew, It’s Coca-Cola not Coke-Cola.



  16. jymbo
    12:51 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    I can hear Ole Roy Crying now.



  17. Teachable Mo'
    12:54 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink


  18. Maters
    12:58 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Thought it was funny Drew. Good job. Haters gonna hate.



  19. SweatyShirt
    1:02 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Does coach K have a spycam in Roy’s den?



  20. The Legend of Cobb
    1:25 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Good work, Franklin. It always makes a day better insulting UNC. On another note, UNC is worries me the most out of the remaining 4 schools. I originally thought it was going to be FSU, but it seems like that boat is starting to drift to sea. In my opinion, from the information available, the biggest challenge facing the Cats is getting his parents on board. I think if his parents begin to show support towards UK and the coaching staff then that will seal the deal. Just my opinion folks.



  21. catlogic15
    1:26 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    #15.. You haven’t spent much time in the south, have you.



  22. Black Francis
    2:52 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Dre and #15 – I think the way Ol’ Roy says it is actually ‘Co-Cola’



  23. Lcat
    3:38 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    What will Roy do to get this kid?? How about arranging for him to stay overnight at MJs palace in Chapel Hill and fixin him up with a co-ed that really knows how to give head. Plus 1M in an off shore account. Thats what Roy is going to do and thats why AW will be a Tar Heel.



  24. bosshog
    6:17 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    You know, the way I see it, if Roy does something special to get Wiggins and gets caught and ruins the program that will be well worth it.



  25. MIKE THE MAN
    6:34 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    How biased of a article this is LOL.



  26. Roy
    7:29 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Why do I keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over… don’t I ever stop working?



  27. DirtyD
    10:31 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    I liked the easy predictable humor. #5 must never have seen pooty tang.
    P.S. This some good dirt!!



  28. Jarweed
    10:53 pm April 22, 2013 Permalink

    Now I’m a cravin a Co-Cola, duggum it Drew.