In a landmark decision that you are sure to forget about tomorrow when you wake up, the United States government has officially began recognizing professional video gamers as athletes, forever changing the landscape of professional sports. Thanks to a lobbying effort by gaming company Riot Games, pro gamers from across the world can apply and be awarded visas to come to America to showcase their unparalleled Duck Hunt skill. (Still popular, right?)
What does this mean for Kentucky and the recruiting wizard that is John Calipari? First, it will now be harder to convince athletes with both basketball and gaming aspirations to spend a year in college when they could be making
millions thousands hundreds tens playing the latest edition of Halo. Would you rather take the fifth most shots as an amateur college basketball player or the first most shots on Call of Duty 25? Exactly. Second, Coach Cal’s words of wisdom will now ring hollow to many athletes who used to buy into his ideas about teamwork. You want to talk about “shared sacrifice?” Try dragging your virtual teammate to safety under a barrage of computer programmed bullets and then we’ll talk about sacrifice.
In all seriousness, video games are fun and a good way to spend time with your friends, even if it ends in a fight after you score the winning touchdown in Madden; saying professional gamers are athletes is taking it a bit too far, in my opinion. But hey, to each their own. I’ve been beaten and then cussed out by a multitude of 13 year olds in my video gaming days to know the professional ranks are not for me.
Finally, from the second most famous Calipari, a friendly PSA to start off your Monday morning. Those headphones won’t drown out the stink, bud.
Just an FYI, if it is really loud so that no one can hear your farts, that doesn't mean that they can't smell them.
— Erin Calipari (@TheErinCalipari) July 14, 2013