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Professional Baseball is played by Wimps

Nothing makes me want to stab my own eyeballs out then when I hear the term “unwritten rules”.  IF IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO MAKE A BIG DEAL, THEN WRITE A DAMN RULE!!!  Whew, that felt good to get off my chest.

Anyway, no sport takes the unwritten rules to an obsurd level like baseball.  I gotta be honest, while I will never disrespect the hand-eye skill of playing baseball, I will always say that on a major sport level, baseball is played by the wimpiest players.  They get hurt the easist while playing the least contact sport.  Hell, there is more contact in soccer than there is in baseball.  Guys play with every broken bone imaginable in football, baseball players are kept out of games for blisters.  Kobe Bryant has no less than 4 injuries right now, pitchers are constantly on the DL for punching walls in the dugout.  A Detroit Tigers pitcher was put on the DL for PLAYING TOO MUCH GUITAR HERO!!  Ronnie Lott had half a finger amputated to play the game.   

But, what makes them the wimpiest to me is this never ending list of pansy rules that have been “created” by players over the years.  We learned recently in an A-Rod incident that a position player is never supposed to walk across the mound of the pitcher.  Awwwwwww, poor little pitcher can’t handle his dirt being moved.  It’s a tough life out there for a guy who only plays every 5th day. put out a list of 10 more unwritten rules after the A-Rod brush up, and I truly thought the list was a joke when I first read it.  For instance:

1. Don’t swing at the first pitch after back-to-back home runs
This is a matter of courtesy, respect for a pitcher who is clearly struggling, offering just a sliver of daylight with which to regain his senses. When Yankees rookie Chase Wright(notes) gave up back-to-back-to-back-to-back homers against Boston in 2007, the guys who hit numbers three and four – Mike Lowell(notes) and Jason Varitek(notes) – each watched a pitch before taking a cut.

Awwwwww, pitcher’s having a rough day out there.  Golly, I feel bad for him.  So I am gonna let him throw a strike here to get his confidence up.  This would be like not rushing a QB after he is sacked on 2 straight plays. 

7. Relievers take it easy when facing other relievers
The caveat to this piece of the Code is that for the most part, relievers don’t step to the plate in close games, which gives their counterparts on the opposing team some leeway in their approach. “You’d probably give them all fastballs,” said Dave LaRoche. “It was just a professional courtesy type of thing. Here it is – I’ll give you a chance to hit it if you can.”

Awwwwww, you can’t hit, so I will give you the best chance to hit a pitch, even if it hurts my team.  Because us relievers stick together.  This would be like a kicker coming out and clearing off the snow for another kicker. 

10. Pitchers never show up their fielders
This doesn’t happen frequently, but when it does, players notice. One pitcher who made a habit of excessive body language on the mound was Gaylord Perry, who would put his hands on his hips and stare down fielders who made errors behind him.

Awwwwww, it’s OK Mr. Infielder.  You may have just cost us a double play and allowed the other team to score a crucial run, but I’m not mad, because we’re all winners here.  I mean, the sun in shining, and we are playing the most old person game in history besides shuffleboard.  Let me buy you dinner after the game to keep your spirits up.  Once again, if a wide receiver drops a touchdown pass, you better believe that the QB is gonna call him out on the spot. 

So, am I off-base here, or does everyone else who isn’t some lame baseball purist think these “unwritten” rules are just a sissy way to play pro sports?

Article written by Bryan the Intern