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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Pompadours of the SEC East

barber-pole

As we prepare to do battle with the hated reptiles from the south, one can’t help but note that their coach has a rather distinctive hairstyle. While it is all in good fun to take their leader to task, let’s take a quick look at the SEC East and evaluate the coiffs of the male coaches. (Note: If I post more than a couple of pictures the site will lock up like Donovan exploring career opportunities, so I am going to have to make a lot of links. Apologies. Just click on the blue text.)

Coach: John Calipari
Hair Style: Corporate Executive
Looks Most Like: Gordon Gekko
Also Looks Like: George Clooney
Commentary: Perfect hairstyle for the guy that is leading the flagship college basketball university to 2000 wins and beyond. What did you expect? This is a UK fan site. Of course our beloved leader is going to be compared to Kentuckian George Clooney.

Coach: Kevin Stallings
Hair Style: Male Pattern Baldness
Looks Most Like: Bill Kirchenbauer
Also Looks Like: Michael Chiklis
Commentary: I love Stallings as a coach, but I can’t get over Coach Lubbock on the sidelines. Man, did a young Christopher Johns have a huge crush on Cindy Lubbock back in the day [far right]. That’s good nostalgia.

Coach: Mark Fox
Hair Style: Thin Frontal Swoop
Looks Most Like: Joe Buck
Also Looks Like: Arn Anderson
Commentary: His hairstyle screams less “zone defense!” and more “I’m coming to audit you!”

Coach: Darrin Horn
Hair Style: Wicked Part, Flyaway Bang
Looks Most Like: Anthony Perkins
Also Looks Like: Crispin Glover
Commentary: Hello, McFly!?! Old school haircut with those couple of pieces that get away from the Dapper Dan and fall across the forehead. The preferred look of axe murderers since 1943.

Coach: Bruce Pearl
Hair Style: Brillo Pad
Looks Most Like: Big Pussy
Also Looks Like: Will Ferrell
Commentary: Not a lot to work with for ol’ Bruce. It is pretty much what he has or the buzz cut/bald options. Could you pick out which player on the team was his son during the Kansas game? I mean, how could you not? Genes run strong in the Pearl family.

Coach: Billy Donovan
Hair Style: Widows Peak
Looks Most Like: Drumroll please – Eddie Munster or Nosteratu.
Also Looks Like: John Travolta’s slimmer, evil younger brother (Fair warning on that Travolta pic: Don’t click on it if you are eating. Serious moob action awaits.)
Commentary: I know this one was a lay-up and it has been said before, but, man, he really does look like a young Butch Patrick. He is the kid from Mockingbird Lane.

Article written by Christopher Johns