Skip to content

Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Pompadours of the SEC East


As we prepare to do battle with the hated reptiles from the south, one can’t help but note that their coach has a rather distinctive hairstyle. While it is all in good fun to take their leader to task, let’s take a quick look at the SEC East and evaluate the coiffs of the male coaches. (Note: If I post more than a couple of pictures the site will lock up like Donovan exploring career opportunities, so I am going to have to make a lot of links. Apologies. Just click on the blue text.)

Coach: John Calipari
Hair Style: Corporate Executive
Looks Most Like: Gordon Gekko
Also Looks Like: George Clooney
Commentary: Perfect hairstyle for the guy that is leading the flagship college basketball university to 2000 wins and beyond. What did you expect? This is a UK fan site. Of course our beloved leader is going to be compared to Kentuckian George Clooney.

Coach: Kevin Stallings
Hair Style: Male Pattern Baldness
Looks Most Like: Bill Kirchenbauer
Also Looks Like: Michael Chiklis
Commentary: I love Stallings as a coach, but I can’t get over Coach Lubbock on the sidelines. Man, did a young Christopher Johns have a huge crush on Cindy Lubbock back in the day [far right]. That’s good nostalgia.

Coach: Mark Fox
Hair Style: Thin Frontal Swoop
Looks Most Like: Joe Buck
Also Looks Like: Arn Anderson
Commentary: His hairstyle screams less “zone defense!” and more “I’m coming to audit you!”

Coach: Darrin Horn
Hair Style: Wicked Part, Flyaway Bang
Looks Most Like: Anthony Perkins
Also Looks Like: Crispin Glover
Commentary: Hello, McFly!?! Old school haircut with those couple of pieces that get away from the Dapper Dan and fall across the forehead. The preferred look of axe murderers since 1943.

Coach: Bruce Pearl
Hair Style: Brillo Pad
Looks Most Like: Big Pussy
Also Looks Like: Will Ferrell
Commentary: Not a lot to work with for ol’ Bruce. It is pretty much what he has or the buzz cut/bald options. Could you pick out which player on the team was his son during the Kansas game? I mean, how could you not? Genes run strong in the Pearl family.

Coach: Billy Donovan
Hair Style: Widows Peak
Looks Most Like: Drumroll please – Eddie Munster or Nosteratu.
Also Looks Like: John Travolta’s slimmer, evil younger brother (Fair warning on that Travolta pic: Don’t click on it if you are eating. Serious moob action awaits.)
Commentary: I know this one was a lay-up and it has been said before, but, man, he really does look like a young Butch Patrick. He is the kid from Mockingbird Lane.

Article written by Christopher Johns