When you think college football and criminality, what do you think? Maybe you think about the “Free Shoes University” down in Tallahassee, the unstoppable police blotter in Knoxville or the gang violence in Miami. Well the good folks over at “Every Day Should be Saturday” have decided to use scientific methods to determine not just who we “think” is the team with the most criminal incidents, but to use the scientific method to make the determination definitively. Thus they award a yearly “Fulmer Cup” which, according to the site, is given to the university whose football team goes furthest in felonious behavior, maxes out their misdemeanors, and generally makes The Program look like an airbrushed, idyllic vision of college footballdom with their behavior.
So who is this year’s winner. None other than the Marshall Thundering Herd, the team with the most criminal incidents this offseason. This has to be a special award for the good folks at Marshall who thought that they had the stigma removed in recent years from being the Division I-AA team where all the criminals went to school, and were now a respectable member of Conference USA. In joining a league with such past NCAA rulebreakers as SMU, Memphis, UAB, etc, the good folks in Huntington can now realize their true potential and become a member of Conference USA not just in sports, but in the criminal heart….where true allegiance lies.
Delaware finished the list second and Purdue third. Tennessee, whose coach so graciously gave his name to the Cup, finished 6th. It may be time to fire Fulmer with such a mediocre performance. If he cant recruit more criminals to Knoxville, it is time to bring in someone who can. Is Jim Harrick available?