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Not Jerry Tipton’s Friday Basketball Notebook

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The 2012-13 season is underway, and just like in 1989 and 2009, the Kentucky Wildcats will struggle to make the NCAA Tournament. To stay apprised and educated, follow me on Twitter @NotJerryTipton. Here’s the weekly notebook:

*You Wanna Freak Out: Though UK coach John Calipari likes to boast that he has had 3 players taken with the top two picks of the NBA Draft over the last 3 years probably, closer inspection reveals that these players are not doing what they are being paid millions of dollars to do: Win. 2010 #1 pick John Wall* was selected by the Washington Wizards, and their record is a mere 3-15. 2012 top pick Anthony Davis** plays for the New Orleans Hornets, who are a pathetic 5-15. And Michael Kidd-Gilchrist was taken with the #2 pick in the 2012 draft by the Charlotte Bobcats, who sport an embarrassing 7-13 mark. In reviewing all these statistics, one wonders why the teams who take UK recruits this early in the draft are so bad. Cause, meet effect. It cannot be a mere coincidence that these three clubs have a combined winning percentage of .258, when statistical probability suggests that these squads should win 50% of their games as a whole. Also, one would think that #1 picks would make their teams winners, but one would be wrong. UK fans hope that nobody spills these beans to the Harrison twins, lest they take their talents elsewhere.

* Wall has missed the entire season with an injury.

** Davis has missed most of the season with injury.

*Victory Dance: A recent poll showed that Kentucky fans outnumber Louisville fans in the state of Kentucky by a 66%-17% margin. These results sent shockwaves throughout the Commonwealth, as people from Maysville to Mayfield asked the same question: “How is it that Louisville is so popular?” Consider: Louisville is a city. There are 418 cities in the state. Mathematically, then, only 0.0024% of the residents of Kentucky should be UofL fans. Instead, a whopping 17% ride or die with the Cards, which means that Louisville is 7,083 times more popular than it should be. Though Calipari likes to boast that the Cats are the “Commonwealth’s team,” the numbers suggest otherwise. And numbers, unlike Coach Cal, don’t lie.

*Movin’ Away: ESPN released its initial bracketology this week, and the Wildcats were pegged as a #5 seed. This does not bode well for Kentucky. Specifically, John Calipari is walking the exact same path that led Tubby Smith to the frozen north hinterlands of Minnesota. Think about it. First, Tubby won a national championship very early on in his tenure (just like Calipari). Then, shortly thereafter in the year 2000, he found himself as a 5 seed (just like Calipari). Finally, he was run out of town by a rabid mob of blue-clad zealots who didn’t much care for his style and lack of winning. (Just like Calipari? We’ll see.) And if all of those coincidences aren’t eerie enough, consider this: Tubby Smith has 3 children. So does John Calipari! Wow. Let’s hope Coach Cal has a winter coat, eh?

* On this date: On this date in 1991, Kentucky beat Arizona State, 94-68. The Sun Devils would get their revenge later that season, however, when UK lost to Duke on Christian Laettner’s shot.

Article written by Not Jerry Tipton

35 Comments for Not Jerry Tipton’s Friday Basketball Notebook



  1. CatGrad7072
    12:10 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Very good, NJT. Can you get your friends Not Rick Bozich or Not Pat Forde to write a column for KSR?



  2. Claw
    12:11 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Am hearing the rumors we may have to vacate last season’s national championship over the Teague ineligibility thing.



  3. GoCats2
    12:21 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    seriously, if those stats are real I am a little disappointed at only 66%.



  4. Truman
    12:25 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    MMJ’s Circuital themed titles, nice. Trying to get this hangover Outta My System now.



  5. Davidin SouthFlorida
    12:28 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Louisville’s population is over 17% of the population of the state – add in Hardin, Bullitt, Oldham, and Henry Counties, you have an MSA that is well over 25% of the state…



  6. The Real Gabe Dadi
    12:33 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    2.) Pretty sure you just made that up.



  7. Big Blue B-Rad
    12:35 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    First thing I do when I see the NJT up is go to the comments just to see how many people don’t realize it’s a joke! lol



  8. Big Blue B-Rad
    12:35 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    2) was it a Louisville site telling you that? haha



  9. Checks Pool Room
    12:40 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Wasted space and a waste of time



  10. Not Funny Anymore
    12:46 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    I haven’t laughed at the Not Jerry bit in over six months. Either get a new writer or retire the bit. It’s not funny taking shots at our guys and has lost its humor.



  11. Check your Math
    12:48 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    1/418 = .24%



  12. LHL, inc.
    12:58 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    NJT, I’ll show you who has real power. I’m shuttering the LHL doors. Then where will you be, huh?



  13. Joe
    1:00 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    It’s not funny taking shots at our guys and has lost its humor.

    Were I you, I’d skip over NJT, then. I think it’s taking shots at JERRY TIPTON, not “our guys,” also. The humour content may vary, I agree. If, the free steak is not to your liking, consistently, I’d simply pass the free steak up.



  14. Matt
    1:03 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    I’m liking the MMJ reference. You just went up in my book, Not Jerry Tipton.



  15. Unbelievable
    1:07 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Why am I the only one insulted by this rubbish. I though this was a UK site. My first time here, after some of my co workers told me about this blog and it will be my last!!
    The numbers suggest its not a blue state. BS. Every where you go it’s Blue. This site sucks and so do the comments for not speaking out against suck a mockery. You all aren’t REAL fans or you would have left this site a long time ago! Bunch of closet UL fans!



  16. Claw
    1:09 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    6/8…Yes, just being devious. 8th day of my annual December vacation and am going apeshit crazy with boredom. Anyone want to bet me, even as bad as we are now, we still make it to the national championship game?



  17. bigcat76
    1:11 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Whoa there #5 don’t go throwing Hardin Co. under that Cardinal bus. Check yourself.



  18. gottodoit
    1:11 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    #10 nails it. More tasteless rot and definitely not for those wanting real information.



  19. KSR Is Worn Out
    1:15 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    This isn’t funny nor is it written in the correct styling. The “facts” here are too far fetched for this routine and it’s very obvious that a younger “writer” wrote this.

    Also, the “One This Date” thing doesn’t even make sense.



  20. not jerry tipton
    1:27 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    i guess people dont understand me… i make fun of the real jerry tipton because he is negative, and always throws uk under the bus, and he always points out how great other teams are (like the last line about duke) with no real connection to his original topic.



  21. uwe arr dumm
    1:37 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Iff yue dont’e understand this postses. Moroffs. Proboblee kan reed this gud to. Wie doo peeple reed these blog off thay hait it somuch? Maybee the probleem is 40% of peeple dont’e get sarcasims 20% of the clock.



  22. I have to ask
    1:48 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    #5 With the hiring of Petrino at WKU, now we have 3 teams to split. There is going to be a lot of the fan base who wanted Petrino at UK who will take sides with WKU for spite. I know the media has sold it like very few wanted Petrino because of their relationship with the Barnhart when in reality that number in my opinion was far greater then being reported.
    I’m not saying I wanted Petrino. I’m not saying Petrino should have got the job, because I think the SEC presidents blackballed him. So I don’t think he was ever a option at any of these schools, if he had been I thnk he would be wearing Orange today instead of red.
    I can tell you for sure thet’re 3 AD’s out there who hope Petrino fails. Again I’m saying I’m for Petrino and with the staff Stoops has put together I can’t wait to see the air raid back at CWS. But how is this going to work out 3 years from now if UK, Tenn., and Auburn are hovering around 5 or 6 wins and WKU is winning 8 or 9 and Petrino has keep his nose clean.



  23. GapToothDanny
    1:50 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    I never tire of NJT! If you could do NJT 5 times a week, Real Jerry Tipton wouldn’t have any negative stories left to report.



  24. #8
    2:05 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    #9, 10, and 18 The whole point of the is to get reactions. By you taking the time to complain about the page you are doing exactly what Ms, TT intended when she writes this piece every week, So keep up the good work Bro’s.
    Giving just how slow this week has been I’m sure it made it hard to comprise a piece this week. However keep them coming TT. I like posting a comment like I don’t get it’s fake and watching all these holier then thou people try to call me out. Nothing better then people who make a arse out of theirselves tring to embarrass others!



  25. #8
    2:10 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    #23 The shame is most of the country hates UK so much they put Tipturd in the college basketball hall of Fame for being so negative about UK. The LHL should be ashamed to have kept him around this long. Then again the LHL is a joke as a whole. They have turned into more of a Tabloid then a true reporter of the news. That paper is so far Left wing that most Dem. don’t take it serious anymore.



  26. Checks Pool Room
    2:34 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    #20 No one gets what your trying to do or say.Now we know the Real Jerry T and no one likes him either.Just write something with some substance.There is so much great stuff going on in BBN that we all want to hear or read.No one wants anything to do with Jerry Tipton.



  27. blueblooded
    2:47 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Et.al. When we have to explain the jokes to you, they are not near as funny (to you). However, your comments trying to argue with a sattire piece, does make it much more comical to us. Thanks!



  28. Mrs. Tyler Thompson
    3:04 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    As much as I would love to take credit, I am not Not Jerry Tipton.



  29. Keep Coach Rock
    3:20 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    #28 if you aren’t NJT all apologies. I came that, by no NJT while you was on vacation and you are always at the helm on Fridays around this time



  30. Participant
    3:29 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    When are some of these people going to get it?

    1) Satire
    2) Sarcasm
    3) Examples of the negativity of the Real Jerry T
    4) Read the Theme posted at the top of the KSR site

    Thank you for allowing me to comment.

    Without the U of L Journalism graduates that don’t understand the first two or can’t comprehend the last two, Fridays would not be the same.

    Merry Christmas



  31. Not Funny Anymore
    3:45 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    I understand it is a poor attempt at satire. The bit used to be hilarious. It is now stale and boring. No fault of the author. It just has run its course. Today’s piece slamming our guys in the NBA about their poor record is not funny. The author has run out of clever ways to make fun of Jerry Tipton. The problem is having to come up with funny material every week which results in no funny material and a poorly written attempt at satire.



  32. Paducah Cat
    4:33 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    #30 I don’t get people like you? The author of this post writes this ubbish about UK and people like you want to trash out the commenters like me. You ARE NOT a REAL FAN. I’m registered when I came on here and I’m going to remove my registration. If any of you so called fans don’t do the same your no better then UL fans!! How did Tipton make the CBHOF with this BS. Shame on you KSR for allowing this type of Post.
    #15 You are the only one on here who gets it! Go to Catsillistrated they would never allow such BS and have original material! This place is for half wit Cards



  33. Randy Marsh
    4:54 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    I love the homage to MMJ. Nice work, NotJerry Tipton!



  34. Rae
    5:44 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    32. The writer isn’t serious. That’s the point. This “rubbish” is so obviously illogical that it is written that way purposefully. We like it because we know it is supposed to make fun of the actual Jerry Tipton. The logical fallacies are what make it funny. The writer is in no way making fun of UK, but rather Tipton’s portrayal of UK. The writer IS a UK fan and uses satire to poke fun at a media source.

    If you are being sarcastic I apologize. But it bears repeating for any newbies. Besides, don’t you have to pay for CatsIllustrated, at least some articles? I’d rather read a free ripoff.



  35. Dr. Tom
    11:13 pm December 14, 2012 Permalink

    Other things on my mind today and just now reading the post. But NJT, you did it again getting everyone’s drawers in a wad:)