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Not Jerry Tipton’s Friday Basketball Notebook


It’s that time of week again. Time to take an unbiased look at what’s happening with Coach Cal, World Wide Wes, and the overly-hyped freshmen who seem to comprise the UK roster each year. This season, the team hopes to make the NCAA Tournament, obtain a favorable draw, and a relatively simple path to the Final Four. They also hope against hope that unlike the previous Final Fours in which John Calipari has coached, this one will stick. For those who want to stay informed and educated, follow me on Twitter @NotJerryTipton.  Here’s the weekly notebook:

* No Time To Kill: Kentucky has long been the favorite son of SEC basketball, and ESPN is well aware of this. The 2010-11 league schedule is, shall we say, very generous to the Wildcats. During the week, as part of the contract between ESPN and the SEC, teams play either Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday. ESPN essentially chooses which teams play on which night. During the weekend, of course, teams generally play on Saturday. Last week, Vanderbilt was forced to play on Thursday, then it had to turn around and play Kentucky roughly 38 hours later. (Despite this handicap, Vandy easily defeated the Cats.) On the other hand, at no point this season does Kentucky play on Thursday then again on Saturday. Is this unfair? Sure it is. Did ESPN and the SEC conspire do this simply in order to avoid fielding complaints from angry UK fans that its team was being treated unfairly by having to play Thursday then again on Saturday? Probably. Did Kevin Stallings have a point when he complained that UK is being given preferential treatment? Of course. But what to make of the cause-and-effect relationship at play here? Does UK get to avoid the Thursday/Saturday double-header because it is the winningest program in league history? Or is it the other way around? In other words, was Kentucky able to rack up all those wins simply as the result of preferential treatment such as this? It’s definitely an intriguing question.

* Baby, Things Change: In home games this year against Kentucky, SEC teams have tried every trick in the book to get their fans excited. Ole Miss had a “red out,” Vanderbilt had a “black out,” Tennessee will be retiring Allan Houston’s jersey, etc. The obvious conclusion to be drawn from this is one that has to be frustrating to Kentucky fans: People simply don’t care about watching Kentucky play basketball anymore. Why else would seemingly every SEC school have to resort to some sort of gimmick to get its fans to show up? In years past, UK’s SEC foes would fill the bleachers with fans who were there to watch a basketball game. Now, it seems that these teams have to bribe people with free t-shirts, promotions, giveaways, etc., to come watch Kentucky play the home team. To be sure, this is a sad state of affairs for the self-proclaimed “greatest tradition in the history of college basketball.”

* Hurt: Darius Miller strained his groin in the game at Vanderbilt, and after declaring him “doubtful” for the following game against Mississippi State, John Calipari then proceeded to play Miller 33 minutes against the Bulldogs. At the time Calipari inserted Miller into the game, the Cats were getting beat. After Miller was put in the game, UK came back and won. Was this simply an act of desperation on the part of Calipari? Did he see the team’s NCAA Tournament hopes fading in the 1st half, and in order to salvage these hopes (and his job), did he then decide to play Miller? Most importantly, did playing in the MSU game put Miller’s health at risk? At least one medical specialist thinks so. In a recent email exchange, Misty Mayhew, a licensed massage therapist based out of Fargo, ND, lambasted Calipari for his decision to play Miller. Ms. Mayhew stated that it was, in fact, “maybe theoretically possible, I guess,” that Miller could re-injure himself . Though Mayhew cautioned that she “isn’t a doctor,” that she doesn’t know the specific nature of the injury in question, and that she has “no idea who Darrien Milner is,” her 7 months of experience should not be ignored.

* Confessions, Part I: Kentucky opponents have long accused the Cats of getting a “friendly whistle” at Rupp Arena. However, no Kentucky player, coach or fan has ever publicly agreed. Until now. After being down by as much as 11 points against Mississippi State earlier this week, UK rallied to defeat the Bulldogs, 85-79. A big reason why was a controversial call at the end of the first half. With 1.1 seconds left, a shooting foul was called against MSU on Brandon Knight, though replays seemed to clearly show that Knight was passing the ball, rather than shooting. After understandably objecting to the call, MSU coach Rick Stansbury was assessed with a technical foul. Subsequently, Knight hit 4 of his 5 free throws, thereby cutting the lead from 5 to 1, which was the difference at halftime. In the 2nd half, Kentucky pulled away from a Mississippi State team that appeared deflated and dejected about how the 1st half ended. As for that public concession that the zebras were favoring the Cats? It came from none other than head honcho, John Calipari: “How we were down 1 at half, I have no idea. We should have been down 15,” Calipari said after the game. Bravo, Coach Cal. I, for one, applaud your candor.

* Instant Karma: Kentucky has been on the losing end of several close games this year. As a result, they are ranked by stat guru Ken Pomeroy as the 324th luckiest team in America. There are only 345 teams in college basketball, which means that UK is one of the unluckiest squads in the land. Pomeroy defines luck as a calculation that measures whether a team is playing above or below its statistical expectations. In other words, based on all other metrics reflecting its play this season, Kentucky should have a much better record than the 18-7 it’s currently sporting. Many UK fans will blame bad luck, inexperience, bad calls, an opponents’ hot hand, etc., as possible explanations for this perceived misfortune. However, is something else at play here? Is it possible that, given all his prior “alleged” misdeeds and shenanigans, that John Calipari is simply a victim of karma? At least one person thinks so. After Brandon Knight missed a three pointer that would have given UK the win at Florida, MARRABABYMAMA, a Louisville blogger who frequently contributes to, penned the following entry on her MySpace page: “HAHAHAHA!!!! SURVES CALAMERI RITE!!!! CHEETER!!!! LOLZZZzz!!!8”

* Happy Birthday: Finally, a big Happy Birthday to Michael Avery, the Californian who verbally committed to Kentucky in 2008, following a scholarship offer from then-coach Billy Gillispie. Michael turns 11 this week.

Article written by Not Jerry Tipton

53 Comments for Not Jerry Tipton’s Friday Basketball Notebook

  1. roy
    12:09 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    tipton is a clown

  2. Mr Schwump
    12:13 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    The next time UK gets a favorable whistle anywhere will be the first.

  3. why!?
    12:19 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    why does ksr have this guy on its site!? i love ksr and cancel my lex herald recently because of constant negatvity of the cats….now this freak is on here and saying basically the same stuff….if your looking for something negative, you can find it on anything or anybody…so he hates cal and our program…heres a option, MOVE OR LEAVE US ALONE…getting my paper back

  4. #wordsunspoken
    12:21 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    does NotLexingtonHeraldLeader know you’re lifting their articles ?

  5. #wordsunspoken
    12:28 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    i’m buying the leather-bound first edition commemorative “NotJerryTipton by NotJerryTipton” complete set when it is published!

  6. so-so
    12:28 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    This “Not Jerry Tipton” was not one of your best, however I did like the birthday wish at the end.

  7. NKY Cat Fan
    12:30 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Misty Mayhew must be a Lousiville fan!

  8. Blue Virus
    12:33 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Clean up on Isle 5

  9. bthendren
    12:34 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Tipton is an ass clown…..Bravo Not Jerry Tipton.

  10. not see blue
    12:34 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Great Not Jerry Tipton. I still suspect that 30% of KSR readers don’t get it.
    Good stuff.

  11. InHocCatFan
    12:35 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    This guy sucks! I don’t come to KSR to read crap like this!

  12. P.PattersonISwalkingthruthatdoor
    12:35 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    i rarely read KSR posts as long as NotJerryTipton’s entries….

    ….but these are always worth it.

  13. SexnNursinHomes
    12:42 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    NJT rocks out with his c*** out.

    Michael Avery b-day is the funniest ish I have seen on here. sorry, Drew, Lentz and Beis. unless one of you are NJT

  14. Give'em Hell Cats
    12:42 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    3, 11, really? Still? Sigh…

  15. BigBlueFan31
    12:42 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Anyone who does not like this has issues! It is hilarious each time.

    The thing is, there are really fans of other teams that believe we get a favorable whistle. We have not since Cal has been here! We earn everything we get.

    Also, are we not still actively recruiting lil Avery? LLLLLOOOOOOOLLLLL. I see him in a Wyoming jersey soon!!!!

  16. P.PattersonISwalkingthruthatdoor
    12:44 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink


  17. SexnNursinHomes
    12:47 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    16- hahaha! that made me laugh out loud, first real laugh of the day.

  18. P.PattersonISwalkingthruthatdoor
    12:48 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    (17) yeah, it had been way too long since i’d posted that

  19. Sherwood8
    12:52 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Home run every time. Nice work.

  20. the ghost of Bill Hicks
    12:55 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    2nd topic was brilliant. NJT is the reason I signed up for twitter.

  21. Just saying
    12:58 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    I love these, hilarious. Just a little to long though

  22. Just An Observation
    12:58 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    For anybody that that has kid (less than 6) & has been subjected to kids programming, I think the real Jerry Tipton stars as Nitnots on Imagination Movers. If not, it must be his brother. Check out the picture and you be the judge.

  23. NJT Fanclub
    1:05 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    We need to redo the favorite blogger contest. NJT in a landslide.

  24. Hang7thentalk
    1:05 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Who is this dude and why is crap that he says posted on a pro UK website. Whoever it is is clearly a anti-UK biased moron and everyone who reads this site should be spared of such ignorance.

  25. Everyone Else
    1:14 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    24, what if you’re the ignorant one?!? Seriously consider this before responding.

  26. Larry King
    1:19 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    It’s really funny to me (I mean literally, it makes me laugh) to think about some of the mouthbreathers out there, sitting in their beanbag chair while eating a lunch of Handi-Snacks and Skittles, reading this entry, and getting really pissed off and worked up over it, to the point of firing off an outraged comment.

  27. SexnNursinHomes
    1:23 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    24- NJT is a master baiter. you’re too easy of a catch. Hook, Line, and Sinker..

  28. The Real Hambone
    1:27 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    I agree with #3… it amazes me how people are “experts” on coaching. If I was putting out the garbage that this poster is I would not put my name on it either. Calipari is not going to put a player’s career in jeopardy by playing him with an injury that could become worse or permanent. His job at steak? Really? You’ve got to be kidding! I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again… people who bitch and moan like this are IDIOTS! And…Lary King, KISS THE CRACK.

  29. Lazlo
    1:31 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Weekly comments by NotJerryTipton. NJT is KSR’s resident scientist pulling BBN out of Tiptonocracy one post at a time.

  30. not F.McWhiskers
    1:31 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    I laugh up a not hairball every time. Good stuff.

  31. fred
    1:34 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    not sure which was funnier:
    “maybe theoretically possible, I guess” or
    “7 months of experience should not be ignored”

  32. Evan Meyer
    1:35 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    lol @ Darrien Milner. Another top-notch effort by NJT!

  33. To 30% of KSR readers
    1:38 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Not Jerry Tipton is not Jerry Tipton, this is all made up to emulate Jerry Tipton and his articles. For all those who still don’t get it, I better define emulate — it means to imitate. Imitate means to mimic or impersonate….ah forget it. Just keep calling in to Cal’s radio show and hang up and listen.

  34. Gato Salvaje
    1:40 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    NJT is pure genius – and this is the best one yet. The Hurt topic was brilliant – JT often tries to validate his b.s. narratives by quoting a so-called non-UK, outside expert; the most ridiculous one yet was probably the Bleacher Report. Or when JT is trying to manufacture a fictional wedge between a UK player and the coach, he will call the old lady who lived across the street from that player in 4th grade to provide the ‘family’s perspective’ on the situation (i.e. the player’s lack of PT, on-going injury issues, etc).

  35. Catfaninrazorbackland
    1:41 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    The funniest part is that some people still don’t get it.
    Does anyone watch The Office or Colbert Report? It’s called satire!

  36. the ghost of Bill Hicks
    1:41 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    “In years past, UK’s SEC foes would fill the bleachers with fans who were there to watch a basketball game. Now, it seems that these teams have to bribe people with free t-shirts, promotions, giveaways, etc., to come watch Kentucky play the home team.”


  37. I don’t know why KSR would publish su…ch…stuff…..I think it’s ho..rr..i…ble OHHHHHHH NOW I GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!NOT JERRY TIPTON!!!! as in.. it really “ISN’T” Jerry Tipturd. C’mon folks this has been going on for at least 3 weeks, and you still don’t get IT!!!!!!! Wanna buy some ocean view property in Arizona?

  38. KYWineman
    1:51 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    To those of you posting here that can’t understand and appreciate satire, I suggest you grab a gallon of herbicide and head for Alabama where you will fit in just fine.

  39. Al's IndiCats
    1:53 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Misty Mayhew, is she related to the Mayhews that were pulling wool over everybody eyes in Bismark N.D back in the 70s 80s, then moved to San Diego? Then I heard around the 2008 year they pulled the wool over S.D fans eyes when they told that the Padres were revelent, and then moved to Louisville to tell all Tards fans they were revelent also in the early 08, and 09, and 10 seasons?

  40. jlragweed
    2:02 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink


  41. ajhank2
    2:03 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    If you can make it to the end of this post without realizing it’s completely sarcastic then you should be embarrassed. This is the most Pro-UK site known to man. Come on people.

  42. kywildcat_96
    2:03 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    These are always must reads. Really good work today. The injury expert was good but the birthday wish was golden.

  43. BPsycho
    2:05 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    #38 Lol that dude was crazy: “Yes those trees deserved to die, and I hope they burn in H*ll!…. Roll D*** Tide”

  44. Runnin'Ramel
    2:31 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    I laughed out loud several times. Whoever is behind the curtain for Not Jerry Tipton, I applaud you. This has been a BRILLIANT addition to this site. I always smile when I see tweets from NotJerryTipton, too.

  45. Women Everywhere
    2:37 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    Best laughs so far today, and that includes watching Maury and Springer.
    NJT , I’m taking down dreamy Seth Davis’ picture from over my bed and putting up yours! I Wuv Oooo!

  46. BlueinMemphis
    2:46 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    NJT, please stop advertising the World Wide Wes update if you aren’t going to come through. I’ve wondered about that relationship since he left Memphis. Is it still on or not?

  47. OldManYellsatCloud
    2:54 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    “no idea who Darrien Milner is,” LOL!

  48. ukclassof93
    2:55 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    The funniest part of NJT is the morons who still don’t get it and make ignorant comments bashing the guy.

    I do enjoy NJT but agree that it is a bit long. I LOVE his tweets!

    3:18 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink


  50. UK Brother
    4:59 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    NJT must keep posting. It just shows we have the Kentucky hater by the NADS. Go Cats

  51. forever34
    6:07 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    I love reading these but since they have posted these Not Jerry Tipton, we have gone 500. Bad Karma….Stop……

  52. luvmycats
    9:04 pm February 18, 2011 Permalink

    I checked out these comments just to see if I’m the only one who hates this and I can see I’m definitely not. Those who are saying that we who don’t like this must not get satire or sarcasm are wrong-I definitely get the point, but it still sucks tremendously.

  53. Garry Reader
    12:45 am February 19, 2011 Permalink

    TCU stands for Texas CHRISTIAN University which makes it a part of the Disciples of Christ. SMU is Methodist and Baylor is Baptist.