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Not Jerry Tipton’s Friday Basketball Notebook

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The 2012-13 season is about halfway through, and just like in 1989 and 2009, the Kentucky Wildcats will struggle to make the NCAA Tournament. To stay apprised and educated, follow me on Twitter @NotJerryTipton. Here’s the weekly notebook:

*Set The Stage: Last week, Kentucky waltzed into Oxford and defeated the top 20 Rebels, 87-74. However, this was apparently not nearly as impressive as it first appeared. Since losing to Kentucky, Ole Miss has gone winless not counting the game against Mississippi State Wednesday. In fact, while the Cats were probably pretty impressed with themselves after edging the Rebels by 13, the Florida Gators one upped the Cats, by turning around and crushing Ole Miss by 14. And this isn’t an isolated incident for Kentucky, unfortunately. According to various statisticians on the inter-net, every single team that Kentucky has defeated this season has lost another game at some point. So let’s not go ordering those championship rings just yet, hmm?

*New Boy: In that win over Ole Miss, UK freshman center Nerlens Noel made history. And not the good kind, either. Despite logging 36 minutes, Noel tied an NCAA record by recording ZERO made field goals for the game. In fact, despite being almost 7 feet tall and extremely athletic, Noel hit as many shots in that game as I did. In the history of NCAA basketball, there have been a total of 494,102 games played.- And not once has someone hit fewer shots than he did against the Rebels. A stunning accomplishment, to be sure. No wonder so many folks were talking about Noel the next day.

– This is just a guess.

*Over There: After beating Texas A&M in overtime last weekend, UK was 4-1 on the road in SEC play. This does not bode well for Kentucky. NCAA Tournament games, as everyone knows, are not played on the road. They are played in neutral environments. Moreover, Kentucky will probably not be playing other SEC teams in the Tournament, at least at first. They will be playing teams from other conferences, so the fact that they can travel to hostile environments in league play and pull off tough wins means absolutely nothing. Consider this bit of data: The 2011 Final Four team made it all the way to the Final Four after being toughened up in league play by a 2-6 road record. Thanks to already winning twice as many away games as that team, the current Cats have already guaranteed they will not be able to replicate what the 2011 team did, and make it all the way to Houston.

* On this date: On this date in 2012, Kentucky fans were more interested in talking basketball than football. Thanks to 6 losses by the basketball Cats, things have changed.

Article written by Not Jerry Tipton

27 Comments for Not Jerry Tipton’s Friday Basketball Notebook



  1. Whatttt?!?!?!
    12:07 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Who keeps letting him post stuff?!?!?!?! What???



  2. HA!
    12:09 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    You pulled out all the stops this time, NJT! That second paragraph as about as ridiculous as you can get. Good stuff



  3. Chaz
    12:10 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    The world needs more people like NJT. Hilarious



  4. Gold Stuff
    12:10 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Thanks again NJerryT…. after reading your column and becoming educated, I realize that Kentucky basketball really is in dire straights…… at least we can fall back on football!



  5. CPACAT
    12:10 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Let’s get this out of the way early today, I have work to do.
    1) Who letting this fool post on a UK-related website
    2) Can’t believe you don’t understand this is sarcasm
    3) What is sarcasm?
    4) I know it is sarcasm, I posted that intentionally just to get posts telling me it’s sarcasm.
    5) I love NJT for the people who don’t get it.
    6) I still can’t believe people think that people don’t really get it.

    There, that should take care of 90% of the posts today.



  6. HA!
    12:12 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    How can anybody not get that this is tongue in cheek. I really think the writer tried their best to make it so ridiculous that everybody would be in on the joke this time. Apparently not…



  7. bsquared
    12:20 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    5.) haha thanks for killing the best part about fridays post….



  8. LHL
    12:21 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    OK, we’re serious about letting you go, Jerry. This is your two weeks notice. And, there’s something else … UK has won the most. 2,106 basketball games…. but according to you 2,106/494,102 = .0043 only 0.43% of games played. That’s just dumb. You keep harping that there’s 99.57% UK didn’t win. It’s getting old around the office, Jerry. The whole copy and print section is threatening to walk out. Jerry, you are tainting our Pulitzer. Two weeks and you’re out of our hair.



  9. Drew Jones
    12:30 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    This is the lamest segment ever.



  10. Dirty Water
    12:32 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Well done #5



  11. looeyderp
    12:34 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    OMG NOT JERRY TIPTON YOU ARE BAD MAN.

    y ksr y u let dis guy post in here?1?1!/1!?1!!??!?!??



  12. fine line
    12:40 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    it is a fine line between edging and crushing !



  13. Peele
    12:55 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    The Connells!



  14. LOL @ #5!
    12:55 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Wow, #5 is a true moron for not understanding NJT! LOL! He forgot the most important part.



  15. JCPostel
    12:59 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Love this segment and am consistently baffled by the comments section on all accounts.



  16. Some Guy
    1:00 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    This might be the funniest line I have read from NJT…

    Noel hit as many shots in that game as I did. In the history of NCAA basketball, there have been a total of 494,102 games played.- And not once has someone hit fewer shots than he did against the Rebels. A stunning accomplishment, to be sure.



  17. L2C8
    1:20 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    THIS DUDE IS THE BIGGEST LOSER IN THE WORLD. I would HATE to be in his family, or related to him. I’m sure he is a LONELY SINGLE OLD OLD LOSER!!!!!!!!!!



  18. mike
    1:46 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Another great job, Matt. The Connells is taking it deep.



  19. Marty
    2:08 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    I would love to know what the actual Jerry Tipton thinks about these posts. Does he find them amusing at all, does it upset him, or is he so out of touch he doesn’t really get where they are coming from?



  20. HA!
    2:11 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    19) i’ve wondered the same thing.



  21. Mark
    2:23 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    NJC??????………..Please tell me that Not John Clay is coming next!



  22. Mitch
    2:33 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    I used to get high. I still do, but I used to, too.



  23. Just saying
    2:40 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Least favorite section on KSR, always skip over it, and usually just stop reading for the day when in see it. Love everything else though. get rid of NJT truly awful.



  24. Freddie Cowan
    3:20 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    You made me laugh numerous times. Great job as usual…always makes my day on Friday afternoon!! “not counting the game against Mississippi State on Wednesday”, “Noel hit as many shots in that game as I did”, and “this is just a guess” were hilarious!!



  25. catlogic15
    4:08 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Very creative. Funny as hell!!!



  26. ONE EYE
    4:14 pm February 8, 2013 Permalink

    Ha ha ha ha I fell for this a couple weeks back and now that I have been educated it’s really cool stuff. At first i hated to read anything from NJT. Oh yeah, I felt stupid for not knowing this 🙂



  27. maddogmitchell55
    1:25 am February 9, 2013 Permalink

    Man, I was going to let loose on whomever I thought wrote this post and when I scrolled back up to see who wrote it I realized I was reading Not Jerry Tipton. Wow. What a relief. I was about to lose my mind. haha. Kudos.