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NCAA In Need of Some Thomas Paine


Earlier this week, UK released some ridiculous secondary violations that were committed by a few football coaches and Rod the Bod Strickland. As radio show caller JT says, “If the NCAA were a man I’d punch it in the face.”


What if your everyday life was governed by the NCAA? I’d be in big trouble. I roll through stop signs like my car is on skates. I leave the toilet seat up as if I were paid to do so. Sometimes I play golf and then eat dinner without washing my hands. Thursday night, I had a parking pass at the Titans game for lot G and parked in lot C. If I self reported that to the NCAA they’d probably siphon a 1/4 tank of my gas.


I, unlike Louisville fans and Lindsay Lohan, am a huge proponent of using common sense at all times. I’ve been doing it for years.  When I hop out of bed in the morning I do two things:

1. Turn my swag on.

2. Attempt to use common sense.


The oven’s hot? I won’t touch it.  You have free suite tickets to an athletic event? I’ll go with you.  The trash is full? I’ll take it out. You want to drive? I’ll let you. Watching a Louisville game? I’ll get my hate on.  You have free candy and puppies in your van? Too good to be true. I’m out on that.


My point is this. Why can’t the NCAA use common sense? Can we not have a “Vice President of Common Sense”? Or would that make too much sense? I’ll do it. Give me $40,000 and a teeth cleaning every six months and I’m in. First order of business would be removing some signage at North Carolina.


I realize there are probably hundreds of secondary violations committed weekly across the country, but how long would it take someone to look at the Randy Sanders situation and say “You know what, this is not a violation. It’s common courtesy to inform someone you are scheduled to visit that you will not be making the trip”? Three seconds? Five seconds? A Rick Pitino romance session?


The punishments given out in these situations aren’t much, but these instances showcase the absurdity of the NCAA. It makes me long for the day when Cal’s vision of the four self governing super conferences comes to be.



Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

3 Comments for NCAA In Need of Some Thomas Paine

  1. Andrea Hardison
    9:51 pm September 1, 2012 Permalink

    This made me laugh. Kept reading it out loud to Matthew. Kudos.

  2. Me Too
    12:09 am September 2, 2012 Permalink

    I laughed also, though I read to myself. More Aaron Flener please.

  3. JRupp
    1:04 am September 2, 2012 Permalink

    Another great post by Flener. Perfect understanding of the “math of comedy,” pacing, and post length. As a bonus the forced (I assume) usage of the “bold” exposes flaws of other posts by comparison.