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NBA Draft Blog (Live, Uncut and Unhelpful!)….plus Joe got Drafted!

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Well it was a great night drafting and blogging about the greatest night of the year. First of all, BIG UPS TO JOE CRAWFORD!, picked by the Lakers and ready for his NBA odyssey. I am very happy for the young man as I know how hard he has worked and how much he wanted this. Now we have to cheer for the Lakers next year, which I certainly dont want to do. Below is our draft diary, stopped right after Round 1. Give props to Joe Crawford, and enjoy:

7:00 pm, MATT: Here we go folks. The beginning of one of my favorite nights of the year, the NBA Draft. Everything is in place for a great night. On television, we have Jay Bilas’s bizarre hairline, Stuart Scott’s lazy eye and Jeff Van Gundy’s “face only a momma could love.” The guys are in their suits, OJ Mayo is wearing fly spectacles to make him look less intimidating and Stephen A Smith and Dick Vitale have been reduced to secondary roles….what could be better! Here is how this blog will work. Every ten minutes, either I, Tomlin, Mosley, the Intern, Turkey Hunter or Beisner, will be coming at you with thoughts and reflections on the absurdity ahead. Bomani is available by text (not for you of course, but for us) and will let us know what the official “black guy” position is on all of this. So sit back and enjoy. I am here ready….Mountain Dew on the table, Skyline Chili ready to be eaten and a Complaint that must be filed tomorrow on my laptop….it doesnt get much better

7:30 PM MATT: Almost time for the first pick. Eric Gordon however has already won the most important award, best suit of the night. I was trying to figure out what to equate Gordon’s suit to and then it came to me….it is the Rashard Carruth of suits. Flashy, full of flair and definitely unconventional….but likely to lay in its room when it is time for practice and tell the manager who has come to get him on behalf of the head coach: “Tell that ____ that I will holla at him in a minute.” Actually, suits cant talk but I just wanted to tell that story.

In other news, Fran Fraschilla just said that he told the Italian guy (who I will call Luigi) that he shouldnt be upset if the Knicks fans boo him because they dont know who he is. Fran is quickly becoming ESPN’s Jimmy Carter….there to comfort all of the foreigners in times of need. I hope the Knick fans boo him heartily and then fire Isiah again….just for good measure.

7:40 INTERN:-Bilas is so fluent with the basketball superlatives. “Second-jump-ability”…”Bouncy”…”tenacity”…poetry.

-Good pick…will they keep him?

-If David Stern was trying to make the Draft more exciting than the Game, then take a rest old friend, your work is done.

-Mike Beasley is the best player in this draft. Yes, Rose has legendary potential, but right now Beasley stands alone. The whispers of the proverbial “character issues” are absurd. What, does he sneak the occasional puff or sex the occasional shorty? So what. This is the NBA, right? You could assemble the top 5 morally flawless players in the league and they would finish no better than 3rd in the C-USA. I highly doubt Lakers fans were focused on Kobe sodomizing that bell hop during the NBA Finals. So do the right thing Miami, take the proven productiveness and the 6 feet and 10 inches.

7:45 TURKEY HUNTER: Tougher to see—a unicorn or a lottery pick’s dad at the lottery?

Did the Timberwolves just pick Farnsworth Bentley? Does he get paid in umbrellas?

7:50 PM, MOSLEY: Hold the applause please, you’ll embarrass us both. Yes, it’s been a while since I last reported to you, but rest assured, I have been quite busy solving world hunger and clearing up this whole “Palestinian-Israeli” thing. I’ll let me solutions be known tomorrow. Nevertheless, this post tonight isn’t all about me; it’s also somewhat about my counterparts and to an even lesser extent, the draft itself.

Now then, I just heard Mark Jackson use the phrase, “outside the box”. My hope is that the rest of the night will be all about which commentator can work in the most corporate buzzwords or phrases into their analysis. If a team needs to cut salary, they’ll be looking to “downsize”. If they’re looking for “culture change” or if they think a “paradigm shift” has occurred, maybe they’ll go unconventional and draft Derrick Caracter, and if they feel that “OPEX are out of control”, they might be looking to “outsource” by drafting a filthy European.

By the way, Derrick Rose’s mom reminds me of a principal in an after-school special, although I’m not sure why.

Michael Beasley’s mom might be a big girl, be that blonde hair coloring is making me pay attention. Holla, Beasley’s mom.

A mismatch to keep an out for: John Paxson’s hairline vs. his forehead. I really don’t like this match-up and think that forehead is heavily favored.

Wait, O.J. Mayo is being replaced by an imposter! The guy going to the podium is clearly a librarian or a computer science major. Put out an Amber Alert for O.J. Mayo.

8:00 MATT: Good start to the draft…and the Turkey Hunter is already on. Early on, I was impressed that R. Kelly showed up at the draft with OJ Mayo. As a kid who used to try and not have to wear glasses, I dont understand why Mayo would go with them, but hey…whatever works.
I already want to punch Stephen A in the face. I simply cannot take him in any form.

Best line of the night so far….Michael Beasley says he is “funloving off the court.” That should work well in South Beach.BTW….what happened to that goofy white kid high school guy that the Sonics picked a few years ago? He may be the Michael Avery of the NBA Draft.

Russell Westbrook got the shortest interview treatment in years….you can tell they knew he had nothing to say….

Grizzlies next…you know they will screw it up….time for a big fat Kevin Love sighting

8:05 BOMANI: Kevin Love is the new Oliver Miller….fat and can throw an outlet pass.

INTERN: It wouldn’t be a stretch to assume some of these players would rather get an “I was in the NBA Draft and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt” than a “Memphis Grizzlies” Hat

8:10 BEISNER: Obviously, I am rooting for one thing in this draft void of Mavs first round picks and that is “that’s what she said” moments. By my count, there have been six so far, but none of them stellar.

The best so far:“I ain’t pullin any muscle”

– Stuart Scott“We need holes filled” – Pat Riley“Dwyane Wade, Shawn Marion and Michael Beasley, not a bad threesome”

– Stuart Scott- Still, I like ESPN’s strategy here.

You know they have to use Screamin’ A. Smith somehow and it’s not going to be at the desk with the guys that can make logical thoughts and not shout. So, how do they make him look good and come off as intelligent. That’s right, interview the players. Good work ESPN. If anyone can make Smith sound like James Lipton, it’s the mumble master Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley.

Sidenote: O.J. Mayo couldn’t take money from an agent or have character issues. Didn’t you see that he wears glasses? Great marketing strategy by the guys that did not pay him in college.

– Also, Kevin Love’s outlet pass has been mentioned already so that’s one thing he’s taking to The League. Well, that and his bra. But, now having watched his interview with Screamin’ A., I can see he’s been spending time with Stuart Smalley. Kevin Love is a winner. And he’s good enough, he’s strong enough, and, gosh darnit, people like him.

– And the Knicks choose…the Italian guy nicknamed “The Rooster”! Yes! Fran Fraschilla is Nostradamus! And he’s going to be like Jeter! And they already are marketing a shoe called “The Rooster”! The Knicks are great every year! I thought Ramel had a shot, but then I remembered that Isiah got canned. Cue the Frederic Weis footage…

8:15 MATT: Bomani just texted me and made the point that if the draft is being held in the city where you are drafted, its never good if they have not heard of you. But hey, Luigi is foreign, needs to work on his athleticism, played for a team called “Armani Jeans Milan” and is nicknamed “The Rooster”…..how can it not work?

INTERN: Alexander is a poor man’s Pittsnogle. Which makes him impoverished.”Elongated reach.” Bilas has hit his groove.

8:20 PM TOMLIN:

Catching up…-Larry Brown is a gypsy? This changes everything!

-This would be so much better if Bruce Vilanch would write some patter for David Stern each time he comes out.

-Eric Gordon’s gotta get out of there early tonight. Prom starts at nine. Seriously, though, I loved Eric Gordon in Harlem Nights.

-I stand corrected. New York Knicks fans are, apparently, going to boo EVERYTHING tonight.
“Hey Tony, let’s go down to the draft tonight!”
“We gonna boo?”
“F*ck yeah we’re gonna boo. All f*ckin’ night.”
“F*ckin’ A. Let me get my chains and rings on. Call Marco.”

-Congratulations, Danilo Gallinari! It’s the happiest day of your life! Welcome to New York, where everyone hates you! Alright buddy!

-I see one Knicks fan, yawning, has already booed till he’s become tired. He a sweepy guy!

-Kevin Love: the most intimidating accountant on the planet.

-Anyone want to give me a line on when the Knicks fans will stop booing everything occurring that has nothing to do with the Knicks? These “boo-birds” are gonna get pretty tired. Right? Right? Who’s with me? I said who’s with me?

-Did Kevin Durant win the Masters?

-Ladies and Gentlemen, Andy Katz. And his patented “Hi everybody, I just walked in from a giant rainstorm” hairdo.

-Minnesota Timberwolves, third pick: O.J. Mayo. “This is my deal, Wade! They said no cops. They were very clear about that, Wade. Very clear.”

-Great strategy — put all the players in giant, oversized chairs so they appear normal-sized. Look, Michael Beasley is just like us!

-Hey! They call ME “Poohdini” down at the VFW! Small world!-Let’s go to the Bulls Draft room to see the celebration! Unfortunately, we see what looks like a bunch of gym coaches in polo shirts and I can only assume BIKE shorts, arguing over who gets the last slice of deep dish. Something tells me they KNEW they were going to get Rose. Is this rigged? I call Shenanigans!

-Looks like the crowd at American Gladiators. I can only hope this means Derrick Rose will have to take on Titan in “The Draftinator” and eventually fall into a pool. What do you say, Hulkster?

8:30 PM MATT:

Lots of great work here so far….dont miss reading below.

Turkey Hunter just wrote and asked how a kid could be in a Jazz jersey in a crowd. Is he a Lost Boy?

The moment of the night of course has been watching the New York crowd boo poor Luigi. When asked how it made him feel, he said that New York was the greatest city in the world….and then he shed a tear. But to be fair, if we sent Bobby Maze to Milan, they would boo him too.

There is no doubt Joe Alexander will suck….NONE. Milwaukee is a perfect place for him, as I will never have to see him again.

I think Terry Cummings is still their best player isnt he?Stephen A Smith asks the same question every time, “so tell me how this feels right now to be sitting here today?” I hope Stephen A comes to the blogger draft so I can say…..”TURRIBLE….because I have to talk to you.”

8:35 PM TURKEY HUNTER: Oh so Brook Lopez announced he would go to Stanford and be in the NBA in second grade. Well I announced that I would be the First Indian Chief in space in the second grade. Take that Brook…

8: 40ish INTERN: Robin Lopez looks better suited for Baseketball.

Might as well go ahead and put it on the table…Doris Burke: Yes/No

Seriously, Andy Katz, how did you get here?And how in the hell are you still here?

The influx of foreign products reminds me of Scott Rigot, and how he was supposed to like, get them.

8:50 MOSLEY:-Hey, you guys probably haven’t noticed this before, but…wait for it…Brook and Robin are both girls’ names! Also, one’s head looks like a loofa.

Brook is going to be the first of many players in this draft who use the “snub” of dropping down the draft board by “working hard” and “showing all those teams that passed on me what they missed”.-

Jason Thompson isn’t here! Could that mean that we get 2 minutes of Stephen A.’s “analysis”? Hooray!

-Stephen A. has found his rhythm: 1. Try to survive Stu’s handing it over by making a “funny” remark without stuttering too badly 2. Try to engage the draft pick in “witty” banter. 3. Ask the kid, “What do you bring to your new team?” 4. Try not to fall down (I know he’s in a chair, but still).

-Doris’ interview with Kevin Love’s dad, Stan Love:“Yes, Doris, basketball has been a shared passion for my son and myself, but then again, so have Civil War reenactments, and to tell you the truth, I couldn’t be happier right now if my son had fake-killed a fat, redneck Virginian pretending to be Stonewall Jackson”

-“I’m-a Danilo! I’m-a gonna ween!” Shout out to Wario–the last evil Italian to excel in the realm of sport”. My use of quotations is out of control. Seriously, I “think” I need “help”. “Make” it “stop”!

8:55 PM TURKEY HUNTER: After last year’s pick, I could have sworn Portland would have picked Eight Belles

9:00 PM MATT: Golden State just picked Anthony Randolph….didnt they pick him last year. Welcome to the D-league dude. Stephen A just said, he “is not about to ride the bench.” Wanna make a bet my man?

I love that they picked the guy from Rider….as a kid, I thought “Rider” was the funniest name for a team ever….now as an adult, it is even funnier. Rider, I hardly know her.

Vitale has just been plugged in and is doing what I love….saying the foreigners are bad and the guys who have been in college for a long time….they could just replay that rant on a yearly basis and you would get the same thing.

Picture of the year….Robin Lopez putting that hat on top of his hair….BRILLIANT

I will say this however (with a nod to the man who sent it)…..it is rare to have two sons with cute names and that the girls like that have such an ugly mama…..or as Turkey Hunter put it, “Who Let Lopez’s mom out of Hogwarts?”

9:03 PM The Real Bomani. Matt knows damn well I didn’t say that about Kevin Love. He’s also wasting my best material.

So now, I’m here. Skinny people — we must come together for a common cause. With Brandan Wright and Anthony Randolph on the same roster, the Warriors have got to be our favorite team, right?

The official “black guy” position, as always, is f*ck Matt Jones. Back in a few.

9:10 BEISNER – Roy Hibbert to the Pacers begs one question. How is he going to run out of a strip club with Marqueezy Daniels and J-Tinsley after the get in a scuffle. They should have gone small here. Hibbert is not only a giant gunshot target, but also makes lap dances awkward.

– I’m so happy that the 76ers took Speights. The first guy to not be there. Is that sign? Let’s see. Mutumbo. Geiger. MacCulloch. Ratliff. Dalembert. Yep, he’ll fit in great with the 76ers history.

– “Doris Burke here with Mama Lopez. How do you feel?”
“Wait, where am I? Sorry, I did a lot of acid in the sixties and I was hoping you could help me find my library card. I swear one of my cats hid it from me. They’re always doing stuff like that. One time I saw Sparky teaching Jerry Garcia how to play lawn darts. And the best part was that they were nude. And you know what? I…wait…where are you going with that microphone? (screaming in the background) EAT ORGANIC!!!”

– Can we start rooting for a trade involving Brook Lopez? I just want another interview so someone can confirm my belief that he talks like the guy in Silence of the Lambs who tucks his sack back. Couldn’t Screamin’ A. at least ask him to say “It puts the lotion on its skin”?

– Bilas just said “considerable linear extent in space”. Really? Sorry, Matt. I thought we were live blogging here. I haven’t talked to my high school calculus teacher in years and I can’t even begin to decipher this.

– Can we start the “Please no more references to how many freshmen have been drafted” campaign on Stuart Scott? I get it. There is a one and done rule now. So there are a lot of freshman leaving school now. Did your prep work for this consist of memorizing one stat? Oh, wait. You’re still one up on me.

9:20 INTERN: 196373baseketball-posters.jpg
Robin Lopez poses for his first team photo

9:20 TOMLIN

-Oh, great. ANOTHER French person in the city of Charlotte.

-“Must Improves” you won’t see tonight:
Must Improve: Calling people back.
Must Improve: The Electric Slide.
Must Improve: That smell he gets when it’s “really hot.”

-I haven’t seen this much attention to gum since Geena Davis’ last dental check-up. Zing!

-Hey. Wow. Apparently, I only need thirty seconds to hate Brook Lopez. It’s good to know that kind of statistic.

-Okay. I’m willing to give one or two guys a pass for legitimate reasons, but what gives with the no-shows? Roy Hibbert, you are no Edward Norton and these are no Maxim Awards. What’s that, Roy? No, I don’t care if you are the “Big Stick,” you can show up to the draft.

-The Lopez mom seems like a nice type of lady. I think I’d definitely buy hand-made windchimes from her at a local crafts festival.

-If I make fun of Robin Lopez’s hair, does Brook Lopez feel it?

-Dick Vitale is officially old —he’s buttoning the top button of his polo shirt. That’s okay, I guess. Old people get cold. I’m just glad it’s not zooming back to reveal his Betty White poster and autographed Scarecrow and Mrs. King script.

-Anthony Randolph is described by Jay Bilas as having “considerable linear extent in space.” Thanks Jay. If I wanted moon man talk, I’d switch over to Nova. But to be fair, Jay once described me as being made up of “an infinitely uncountable magnitude of carbon-based cellular material.”

-Brandon Rush Must Improve: Assertiveness. That $45.00 late fee on John Tucker Must Die at Blockbuster isn’t going to clear itself from your record, Brandon.

-Nice suit, Jerryd Bayless. What time is the matinee for Guys and Dolls? Just a word of advice, Jerryd, between you and I…you might look funny wearing that around in Indiana.

9:25 PM The Real Bomani:

Seeing Robin Lopez reminded me of something — it’s interesting that the Lopez twins have been celebrated for being goofy, while Beasley has had to answer for it. This is all I’m saying — if you dropped the three of them off somewhere and told them to find their ways home, who’s your money on? Moral of the story — sometimes, we spend too much time psychoanalyzing people we don’t know. I admit to being guilty of this at times, but I wasn’t stupid enough to do it this time.

9:30 PM MATT: Gotta love the French guy…7’8″ wingspan….”not been real productive in the French A league”…..that sounds like a winner. And may I also say that you know your economy is in trouble when Fran Fraschilla is talking about the “value of the dollar versus the Euro” in determining whether a guy will play in the NBA. If they start talking about the Federal Reserve raising interest rates before Kelenna Azubuike signs with Golden State, I am turning this off.

9:40 PM MATT: A little break in the action here….but if I have to watch Durrell Arthur chew any more gum, I am going to scream….Mom, teach your son to keep his mouth closed while chomping.

Jazz on the clock….any white guys available?

9:41 PM The Real Bomani: Was someone just drafted in the first round that averaged 5.0 ppg in FRANCE?

9:45 PM MATT: The Jazz pick….A WHITE GUY. There is a shock like none other. As the Turkey Hunter just said, black players in the draft just breathed a huge sigh of relief.

9:50 ROB GIDEL: Go Legends!

9:50 PM MOSLEY:-Keeping count for you guys: two Kentucky players have received shout-outs: Tayshaun Prince and Kelenna Azabuike.

-Strangely enough, Dick Vitale, I actually got my doctorate in Hoop-ology from Harvard.

-Dick Vitale is more predictable than a Sean Hannity-Paul Begala debate. “I like people that I’ve seen. If these non-college players were any good I would have seen them”. What’s interesting is that he’s gone from pimping college seniors exclusively to pimping anyone who played college basketball for a little while.

-Stu and Stephen’s back-and-forth is about as funny as a state funeral.

-Hedo Turkoglu is not an attractive man.

-Magic select Courtney Lee. So far, Robin, Brook, and Courtney have been drafted and Kiki is being interviewed. The NBA is turning into the cast of Laguna Beach.

-In the unlikeliest of scenarios, the Jazz select a white guy.

-You probably haven’t heard this, but there have been a lot of freshmen taken in this draft.

-Mario Chalmers is going to get picked soon, thereby securing for himself the title of “Guy Who Got the Biggest Payoff From One Shot”. Casey Aldridge reluctantly relinquishes the title.

-Sonics pick a guy named Sir Chubacca?

9:55 PM TURKEY HUNTER: Serge Ibaka of the Congo….My scouting report….Grew up throwing baby heads at ground nut baskets….Must improve: vaccinations and violent coups.

10:00 PM MATT: Could we please pick more French guys that “shoot the ball reasonably well?” I dont think the NBA has enough of them….one Tony Parker dating one Eva Longoria and everyone thinks they need their own Frenchie.

Durrell Arthur has an “undisclosed kidney condition.” Well I guess it just got disclosed. His mom quit her job as a truck driver to follow her son around in college. I am sure he LOVED that….goes to college at a huge basketball school, wins a national championship and has mom down the street interrupting his attempts at hooking up with farm girls. Had to be great. And if she is a truck driver, wouldnt that be the PERFECT job for following her son around?

10:10 INTERN: How about that, the Spurs go domestic. George Hill better than Crawford?

Can we stop the charity case for Darrell Arthur? Poor fella, has to sign a multi-million dollar, guaranteed contract and some Patron tonight.

10:10 BEISNER Finally, Darrell is gone. Maybe this will hurt him so bad that he will pronounce his first name right.

– Good work San Antonio, way to take a good wholesome American name like George Hill. It looked like David Stern was startled. Or maybe that was his “It’s 10 already. Isn’t it time to dip out?” look. Apparently George Hill can be a special player too according to Bilas. And he isn’t even a post player.

– In case you’re wondering, the exchange rate on basketball players is also pretty weak. In exchange for these sweet French guys, the US sent roughly infinity guys to the France including such gems as LaVell Blanchard, Tracy Murray, Jeff Trepagnier and 60 Minutes’ Mike Wallace.

– So Greg Oden and Brandon Roy plus 3 other guys automatically win 50 games? Oh, Stu, how you exaggerate!

– Can we please begin the message board speculation about how high DeAndre Jordan would have gone if Gillispie had gotten his hands on him? I mean, if he could develop Joe and Ramel in one season, then couldn’t he have taken a guy like DeAndre Jordan and like…I don’t know…made him the commissioner of the NBA or something? Bilas would probably agree. Jordan is a special player.

– Doris Burke is losing her luster. And, contrary to what I said earlier in the comments, no I wouldn’t. And yes, she should keep her top on.

10:20 PM TOMLIN

-28th pick, Grizzlies: Donte Greene. Born in Germany, lived in Japan. I think this officially makes him the most ruthlessly efficient player in the NBA.

-Doris Burke: Are you glad your son finally found a team?
Sandra Arthur: Oh yes, very proud.
Doris Burke: Would you say your son will drink a lot of delicious Sprite?
Sandra Arthur: Excuse me?
Doris Burke: We all know how delicious Sprite is. Would you say your son loves Sprite?
Sandra Arthur: I suppose so…
Doris Burke: Then say it. Say your son loves Sprite. Say it’s delicious. I’m serious.

-“Congratulations, Darrell…now if you’ll just head over there so Stephen can raspily shout in your face and tell you all about yourself.”

-Finally, the schematic of the new MSG. You know, I’ve always told people, “You know what keeps Madison Square Gardens from being a truly classic venue? Not enough restaurants.” Someone out there agrees.

-“Quick! Hang some more Knicks jerseys back there. This is Knicks headquarter, dammit! No, two is not enough!”

-Batum attended Le Mans Sarthe Basket. I almost went there. But everyone’s French.

-It’s official. French is the new Russian.

-Yao Ming running in that pool looks like a clip from “Ultimate Banzuike.”

-Stan Van Gundy looks like Chris Farley in the “Superfans” sketch. Ditka!

-Darrell Arthur looks sad. I think he needs some gum.

-“We have reason to believe the man behind all this is Kosta Koufos, also known as ‘The Chameleon.’ Supplier of arms for many of some of the most dangerous individuals in the free world. We’re relying you to not only find Koufos, but bring him back to us. Alive.”

-I think David Stern is actually losing his New York accent as we watch.

-My sworn enemy. Kiki Vandeweghe. You win this round, Vandeweghe.

10:30 PM MATT: We are winding down the first round and the Draft is slowing down a bit. The Pistons just picked DJ White, who I like for that team….he is big, likes to rebound and has a bad beard….perfect for that group.

The whole Darrell Arthur thing finally ended, with his mom on camera and specifically not listening to the question, while crying uncontrollably. He now goes to Portland, which according to Mark Jackson is a guaranteed 50 win team because they have Brandon Wah and Eight Belles. That simply doesnt make sense. Get Charles Barkley on here….at least when he doesnt make sense, it is funny.

Last pick of the first round means the last guaranteed contract and the last guy who can go buy a Bentley….who will it be….why is this taking so long….did the lawyers find a misspelling on the card….and the player is…..JR Giddens. YEAH NEW MEXICO PLAYERS….time to go to the second round….pick JOE C!

10:35 PM The Real Bomani:

Here’s something to consider about that Pau Gasol trade that’s been lambasted… The Grizzlies, who were dreadful, gave Gasol to the Lakers for Javaris Crittendon, Kwame Brown’s expiring contract, a couple of picks and the rights to Pau’s brother, Marc. They drafted Kevin Love, and they were in the position to do so because of how dreadful they were with and without Gasol. In a way, that means the Grizzlies add Kevin Love to the Gasol package. After seeing how soft Gasol looked in the playoffs, is that trade really so lopsided? Hard to say, really.

10:40 PM TURKEY HUNTER: Dicky V looks like Ken Griffey Jr’s 600th Home Run ball.

10:45 PM MATT: Someone named Walter Sharpe from UAB was picked…we played UAB and I have no recollection of him….and he was picked before Chris Douglas Roberts. People are morons.


10:50 PM MOSLEY

-Lawyers have to verify name spelling? I wouldn’t have thought “reading” would be such a specialized skill.

-What does it say about me that my favorite part of the draft is watching the guy in the green room who drops like an anvil and has to sit alone looking all uncomfortable and embarrassed? It’s kind of like watching people run in the airport. I know that they’re stressed, but there’s something about the misery mixed with non-life threatening potential result that intrigues me to no end. And just like that, Darrell’s off the board and sounding like my grandpa just back from his doctor’s appointment.

–You probably haven’t heard this, but there have been a lot of freshmen taken in this draft.

–Will Doc Rivers ever get his voice back or will he always sound like Super Dave Osborne?

–Larry Brown on the video line now and I have to go back to Tomlin being spot-on about old people and the top button buttoned on the polo. Larry looks very curmudgeonly right now. Also very sleepy. I fully expect that the next time they interview him he’ll be in an ankle-length sleeping gown, a night cap, and a white candle in a candleholder. Later tonight, he’ll be visited by the ghost of Jacob Marley.

-Kudos to Joey Dorsey. He’s a buffoon, but much props to the players who come to the draft and sit in the stands. I am 100% certain that Stu Scott just made up the anecdote about Joey Dorsey being given his nickname because “Joey” denotes “Kangaroo”. You don’t have to lie, Stu, we’ll still like you. Actually, you’re better off trying the lies.

-Mario Chalmers just came off the board. Another participant in the “I didn’t get invited to the green room, but I’m still heading to the draft” Sweepstakes.

11:00 PM MATT:

Well that is the end of tonight’s festivities from here. It was actually a relatively mild NBA Draft as far as they go. The blog however was outstanding and there are some real gems in this here package. Turkey Hunter, Mosley, Tomlin, Intern, Beisner, Bomani and Gidel brought the big sticks tonight. Thanks for following along, and look for the entire diary tomorrow in the actual time order. Thanks for the fun…

Article written by Matt Jones