We’re back from Canada and slowly getting things back in order here at the KSR office. Today was spent unpacking and cleaning up all of the Magic the Gathering cards left behind from Will Lentz’s party in the compound. Our focus is now 100% on football but I’d like to recap the trip before we start talking trash to Louisville for the next few weeks.
Here is a collection of my random thoughts on all things Cats and Canada:
— Brandon Knight is the real deal. Knight averaged 25 points and 8.3 assists per game while trying to dunk on everyone who didn’t get ‘oot’ of his way. Knight showed incredible quickness and explosiveness that Kentucky hasn’t seen at the point guard position in, well, months. While I still believe it is unfair to compare Knight to his predecessor, I’m doing it anyway.
— Poutine is also the real deal. It’s french fries topped with fresh cheese curds and brown gravy, and the KSR crew ate it for nearly every meal.
— All Jorts and no Enes makes Canada a dull trip. With all due respect to the denim one, this trip needed Enes. No one within 1,000 kilometers of the St. Denis Centre would’ve been able to stop him.
— Dominic Papa is even funnier in person. I turned down the opportunity to have my picture taken with Dom Papa after the game. That decision will haunt me for the rest of my life.
— Darius Miller is the most dominant post presence since Shaquille O’Neal when he is playing against 6’5 white kids from Ontario. Miller average 20.7 points while showing flashes of Patrick Patterson in the paint. Hopefully, Darius’ confidence will transition into the season and he’ll finally step up and be the player we all believe he can be. #Leegggoooo
— Conversion rate jokes never get old. To us, anyway. I’m sure the locals got tired of us singing the “five dollar, 30.48 centimeter long” Subway song and asking how many kilomounces were in a pitcher of Molson.
— Monty Hardware is a beast. If I had to name my favorite Canadian basketball player not named Jamaal Magloire or Bill Wennington, I’m going with Monty Hardware.
— Doron Lamb was impressive. Stacey Poole was not.
— Canadians are nice. Almost too nice. It got to the point where I wanted to get punched in the face just so I knew Canadians had it in them. Every where we went, the locals were incredibly friendly and polite. Tall even joked that bouncers in Canada are called politeness police.
— Jarrod Polson looks like he is 12 years old. But don’t let the boyish face and the hairless legs fool you – Polson can play. Obviously, he lacks the size and athleticism to ever be a major contributor at Kentucky, but he’ll score some points in blowouts as 23,000 screaming fans shout, “SHOOT!” every time he touches the ball.
— Canada gives out free money. Seriously. I increased my gambling money by exactly 1,000% on Friday night, and then by 3,333.33% on Monday night. Finding a $50 bill on the ground at the bar was pretty clutch, too. Thanks, Canada!
— Enough has been made of Coach Cal’s wardrobe. If he sold that look on CoachCal.com, each and every one of you would be wearing that Panama Jack shirt tomorrow.
— Jerry Tipton has a smile. After a human bowling ball went barreling through the pins and into his spot at the media table, Jerry Tipton brushed himself off, collected his belongings from the ground, and gave a big smile to the crowd.
— Jon Hood put on a dunkfest in the first game and, for the most part, played pretty well in what he called the moment he has been waiting for for a long time. GO MAROONS!
— The fine people at the Canada border patrol need a hug. I understand you’re protecting your country from all of the bad things in America – like bourbon, Taco Bell, Lil Wayne, and awesomeness – but you need to lighten up a bit and get off your power moose. Remember, you were only promoted to border patrol because the Windsor Mall ran out of segways.
— The highlight of my trip was not getting murdered in Detroit. Glad to be back home, and not face down in an alley.
I had a blast with all of the Cats fans, especially those who joined us Monday night for Hubby’s birthday. Nothing beats Kentucky basketball in August. Do it again in four years?