On Saturday, our beloved (at times frustrating, but always sigh inducing) Kentucky Wildcats will play host to the Texas State Bobcats in Commonwealth Stadium. Do you know anything about Texas State? Well unless you listened to the radio show (which you should), you may not. So here are 7 things you MUST know.
(1) Texas State was the name of the school in Necessary Roughness, except that team was named the “Fightin Armadillos.” For those of you that dont remember that fine film, it starred Scott Bakula in a movie that was supposed to put a “Quantum Leap” on his acting career. Also in the movie was everybody’s favorite bad guy Larry Miller and the worst person in entertainment, Sinbad. I bet its not too long until a football recruit tells us that it is his favorite movie ever.
(2) Texas State won last week 27-23 over “Fran” Tarleton State. Tarleton State is located in Stephenville, Texas (a booming city for sure) and boasts that it is “the largest non-land grant agricultural university in the US.” Boy I bet that brings in the ladies. Tarleton State is a Division II team, so some Texas State fans were upset about their performance, but all agree that no place is better for redemption that Commonwealth Stadium (I kid because I love).
(3) Texas State is located in San Marcos, Texasa city just south of Austin that is known for hosting “the most popular swimming spot in Central Texas”, “Rio Vista Falls”. Anything with a vista reminds me of the Rosie Perez line in “White Men Cant Jump” (where she was very good for once), when she commented about the Vista View Apartments….”There aint no vista and there aint no view and there certainly aint no view of a vista.”
(4)Texas State is coached by former Bobcat David Bailiff who says his goal is to make Texas State players “turn into good Texans.” That has a very George W. Bush type sound to it, doesnt it. You probably know about bailiffs in the courtroom (always ready to serve) but you may not know about Toledo, Ohio singer Jessica Bailiff. Bailff’s music, which can best be characterized as “bad”, is available for you to listen to online. Plus as you can see in the picture below, Bailiff is very contemplative, which means in addition to her music being unlistenable, it will also be full of meaningless lines that stupid people will tell you are deep.
(5) Finally, the Bobcats play at a stadium called “Jim Wacker Field.” Maybe you think that is funny, but a mature reader would get no humor from such juvenile antics.
Big game Sat….Cats by 17.