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Matt Jones’ Tuesday News & Views

Do not adjust your computer screen. That is Matt Jones.

Two Matt Jones night posts in a row? Surely we jest! Oh no, Tuesday is the birthday of the head honcho around these parts, Matthew Harper Jones, and we’d be pretty terrible employees if we let it go unnoticed.

Even as someone who writes for this site, it’s often easy to take it for granted. Who knows, without KSR, we may not have characters like Fake Barney, Not Jerry Tipton, or holidays like Louisville Hate Day. On the brink of another season of Kentucky sports, take a minute to say thanks for this small piece of internet real estate, without which we may never know if there was news about Jai Lucas or Patrick Patterson.

Happy birthday, Matt. I hope your day is full of barefoot walks, Diet Coke, Qdoba, Conway Twitty, and wrestling videos. Give the birthday boy some love in the comments section.

— On Monday, Joker Phillips held his first weekly press conference of the season, and for a coach many think is on the hot seat, he seemed as cool as a cucumber. Joker was relaxed and confident with the media, playing up Kentucky’s underdog role against Louisville and praising the performance of Max Smith heading into the season opener. Instead of tightening up under the pressure from the media and fans, Joker appears loose and ready to roll the dice, an attitude we’ve seen since his appearance on KSR earlier this month. Attitude is everything with UK football this season, and Joker’s positive, upbeat approach will only boost his team’s confidence headed into a game where they really really need it.

— Also encouraging were Joker’s comments about play calling, which he says will be more aggressive than last season (a pretty manageable feat considering). Instead of draw plays on third and long, Joker said that they’re ready to open it up and get a little frisky:

“We’ve got to take shots. We’ve got to take more shots calling plays. We want to stretch the field.”

Sure, for now it’s just talk, but if there’s an iota of a chance that the play calling gets more creative, I am all for it. Last season’s offense was so boring I had to buy no-doze in bulk. All in favor of this new “balls to the wall” approach, say “aye.”


The Cats will have to face the Cards without Josh Clemons, who will sit out this week’s game as his knee recovers from being scoped last week. The news was expected, but Joker said that he is “very confident and comfortable about the running back position.” The Cats are enjoying more talent and depth there than in recent memory, a blessing considering that the team with the most rushing yards has won the Governor’s Cup going back to 1994 (h/t to Kyle Tucker for that little factoid).

— Max Smith is ready to be your quarterback. The sophomore said he knows he needs to come out and prove he’s worthy of the role, although he already has one big vote of confidence from his head coach. Joker said that Smith has been very impressive in practice lately, particularly with his accuracy, and although his one weakness may be his mobility, he can “beat you with his arm; he can beat you with his mind.” Jedi mind tricks, anyone?

— Good news! Workers in downtown Louisville discovered the site of Karen Sypher’s conception. You know, in case you were curious or something.

Julius Randle “narrowed” his list of schools to ten on Monday, and the Cats are in the pack, along with Texas, Kansas, Baylor, UNC, Duke, Florida, NC State, Oklahoma and Oklahoma State. He also announced plans to take an official visit to Florida on October 6th. Julius, I hear Lexington is quite nice on October 12th. We’ll save you a seat.

— Louisville Hate Week got off to a rousing start on Monday when Makayla Epps, daughter of former Cat Anthony Epps, committed to Matthew Mitchell and UK Hoops after previously committing to the Cards. Even better? She plans to wear #25, just like her dad. Makayla, one of the nation’s top 2013 prospects, was not available for comment, but did give this glance in Louisville’s general direction:

— Curious as to what the NCAA found when they went digging around Nerlens Noels’ high school a few weeks ago? Apparently they visited Ryan Sweeney, one of Nerlens’ BFFs and shockingly, didn’t find any skeletons. According to Michael Sweeney, Ryan’s father, NCAA reps and officials from UK interviewed Ryan for almost an hour, during which they learned that 1) Nerlens is a good family friend who has visited the house several times; 2) Nerlens went to Florida with the family once on vacation; and 3) he also visited Ryan at his college, Florida Atlantic University, and the family paid for his ticket. Just in case there was any confusion, Sweeney told the Providence Journal, “I will say we are not boosters of Kentucky.” Sweeney said he wasn’t sure why the NCAA wanted to talk to his son, but he “got the sense that everything was fine when the meeting was over.” He also would like Pete Thamel to clean up the mess he made when camping out on his lawn.

— Remember how Indiana had too many players and not enough scholarships earlier this summer? So does Matt Roth, a fifth-year senior who is now the odd man out in Bloomington. Roth already graduated with a bachelors and masters, but has a year of eligibility remaining; however, that won’t help his cause with Crean, whom Roth saw on Saturday at a basketball camp. The two spoke briefly, but Crean never addressed Roth’s status with the team directly, instead telling him to feel free to use him as a reference on job applications. From there, Roth “put one and one together there” and is now scrambling to find a job after being told to keep his options open in case things changed. Ouch.

— Don’t forget to send me your questions for Wednesday’s #ksrmailbag via tweet or email.

— Speaking of, two days until #LouisvilleHateDay. Bring your pink tank top.

That’s all for now. Matt and crew will back bright and early to talk Cats vs. the Cards and blow out some birthday candles. See you then.

Article written by Mrs. Tyler Thompson

No, I will not make you a sandwich, but you can follow me on Twitter @MrsTylerKSR or email me.

29 Comments for Matt Jones’ Tuesday News & Views

  1. tdogg40330
    11:06 pm August 27, 2012 Permalink


  2. Kneel
    11:34 pm August 27, 2012 Permalink

    Interesting that the L and the Louisville Football are not mirrored.

  3. rackem
    11:39 pm August 27, 2012 Permalink

    2… i was wondering the same thing. wtf?

  4. Sir Brandon
    11:47 pm August 27, 2012 Permalink

    Have thou a festive remembrance of thy birth, Baron of the Blogosphere!
    We thank thee for that thou hast created KSR for the BBN.
    Enjoyest a fine dinner alone sans rude children, line beards, and breaking news from haters.

  5. bigredbleedsblue
    12:09 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Too funny that Louisville discovers an old underground sex club! Where is that guy on these boards earlier defending the wonder of his beloved city? I know Louisville hate day is about the university not necessarily the city, but it does seem quite humorous.

  6. Buckets
    4:14 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Watch your back in duh ville, Matt! Some d-bag Loserville fans might take exception to #LouisvilleHateDay. They’re just mad because they know their basketball team is coached by a guy, let’s call him Quick Rick 15-o, who won a championship for their biggest rival, yet he’s not what he used to be. And the fact their program will never equal Kentucky’s.

    That eats at them so much they try to puff their chests out about their mediocre football program that’s only won 1 of its last 5 games against UK, the program they call the doormat of the SEC.

    As Silky Johnson would say, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

  7. SeoulCat
    5:02 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Uhhhh….that is not Makayla Epps in the photo

  8. A little slow on the uptake
    5:31 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    7 – You’re not too bright, are you?

  9. well, i'll be...
    6:43 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Did Joker really say the play calling was going to be more aggressive? Does that sound at all like Tubby? Wasn’t he always promising ‘up tempo’ – yet it was the same ole sh!t? Damn, Joker IS just like Tubby! Maybe Minnesota will swoop in and steal Joker away from us too. Ha, yeah right!

    Run, run, pass, punt…

  10. BravoBigBlue
    6:50 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    No wonder Mayor for Life Jer Abramson fought so long to block the develop of Whiskey Row. That is where he cut his teeth with the likes of Big John, Long Dong Silver, Robo-Co#k, The DirtRoad Man, Never Nervous, and on and on and on. That is sacred ground to our now beloved Lt Governor and the Commonwealth’s head cheerleader.

  11. Maxwell Smith
    6:50 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    I am not the quarterback you want to sack. *waves hand*

  12. art !
    7:08 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    ‘Saturn Devouring His Children’ is a fairly well known painting by Francisco Goya.

  13. barn
    7:32 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    2/3–maybe he’s standing between opposing mirrors

  14. Wrong third down call
    7:59 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    You guys are wrong about the draw on third down. There three plays that were called: The HB screen, HB pressure relief route out of backfield, and a WR pass involving a route that was never designed to reach the marker.

  15. Fake Nate
    8:09 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Happy birthday, Matt.

  16. CatomicBomb
    8:19 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Happy Birthday Matt Jones, may your day NOT be filled with crying babies, accusations of being a racist, calls from FakeRandySavage, and Love for Louisville from the chinstraps. I think that should give you a decent birthday? Just like Coach Dickie said “If you can’t beat them, at least wear orange pants”, or something like that, I got the quote from Ryan, so… Happy Birthday Bud!

  17. Ben Franklin
    8:20 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    You need to go see 2016 for your B-day, then you will be able to see why, as you have said before, “No one speaks the way Obama does.” He is so close to reaching his goals, lets don’t stop him now.

  18. Azubuike's Bicep
    8:20 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    2/3- My theory is that it is an old Iphone that he is using, which I believe took mirrored pictures. Add that to him taking the picture in a mirror, and it makes the “L” on the hat and the “Louisville” on the shirt look normal. I am probably completely wrong though.

  19. UK Snuggie
    8:22 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    McKayla Maroney = hot!

  20. CatomicBomb
    8:26 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    18 – Maybe someone else took the pic of chinstrap? Like from the grassy knoll? Like your theory though.

  21. bleedblueky
    8:27 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Matt – Happy Birthday and Happy Everyday 🙂

  22. Randal
    9:00 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Taking your “shots” on third and long is not very good football tactics. A better place to take your “shot” would be 2nd and 4, third and two, a situation where you are managing risk/reward at a higher rate of return. Good football is not just a matter of pulling plays out to see if they work. Just like poker is really about manging money, football is about about strategy and the tactics to implement that strategy. Taking “shots” is a tactic but it is not a strategy. Football is more like chess than checkers.

  23. Behind Enemy Lines
    9:03 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Has anyone heard of photoshop? You can flip pictures. Simple.

  24. RYNO
    9:16 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    There’s waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much bend in the brim of that hat.

  25. Al's IndiCats
    9:16 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    That’s what I first thought about the photoshoping of that poor uneducated loser. I was trying my best to think of a reason for the whole sex expose’ at whiskey row with sado masochistic “flavor” was a prelem for the start of one of Loservilles harder subjects……..Basket weaving 101

  26. Aaron C Bunch
    9:24 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    RYNO that’s what I was thinking…lol

  27. Wrong
    11:09 am August 28, 2012 Permalink

    Thats not photoshop bud

  28. James K
    12:44 pm August 28, 2012 Permalink

    I just had one of those moments where there was something very obvious and well known finally come to my attention. I have seen that picture a thousand times. For whatever reason, I just realized that it’s Matt dressed up as a UL fan. Wow. Honestly, that speaks to how convincing the outfit is.

    I’m such an idiot! I even remember looking at that and thinking ‘wow, they use that guy a lot around this time.’ I’m going to go jump off the Sherman Minton now.

  29. SeoulCat
    2:06 pm August 28, 2012 Permalink

    #8 Actually, my IQ is probably two times higher than yours. Intelligence has nothing to do with familiarity with your country’s pop culture or “internet memes” (no one knows or cares who McKayla Maroney is–thank you, #19, for pointing that out–outside of the United States of Fatasses), however, an inability on your part to understand this distinction speaks to a dearth of IQ points on your side of things.