A — Axe body spray, the official scent of the Louisville Cardinals
B — Belk Bowl Champs! Oh, wait…
C — Clint Hurtt, who is somehow still on your staff. I don’t get it either.
D — Down my leg. He said it, not me.
E — Ed Hardy, a clothing designer who must rake in millions of dollars from the Louisville metro area. Why? You can be fully clothed and still look like you are covered in tattoos. Great for winter!
F — Flat bill. Curves are for your women, not your hats.
G — “Get on the Train,” UofL’s motto for this season. All this makes me think of is dancing to Quad City DJs’ “Come on ride the train” at my middle school dance. “Come on, ride the train, it’s the choo choo train” Plus, this:
H — Hairbrush. Preston Knowles is still pissed about that, by the way.
I – Irrational thinking, the most popular major at UofL.
J – Jurich, the reason you’ll never have an NBA team.
K – Kragthorpe: Rich Brooks still wants to know how his ass tastes.
L — Line beard, trimmed to a precise eighth inch width
M — Male tramp stamp, the hottest new accessory in Jefferson County
N — National Championships. We’ve got eight, you’ve got two, no matter how you spin it.
O — Olde English, how you like your fonts and your forties.
P — “Point blank period.” The words that would probably haunt Chane Behanan for the rest of his life if he didn’t keep opening his mouth.
Q – “Quicky Ricky,” an unfortunate nickname for anyone who’s not a sprinter
R — Rick. See above.
S — Stripper Pole tailgates, a Papa John’s Cardinal Stadium specialty.
T — Teeth. Heads up: birds don’t have them.
U – Upset. Because we’re not about to let our little brother kick us around. (See also: Underdog)
V – “Ville,” a nickname you think is so original your put it on your football jerseys. By the way, Paintsville, Danville, Maysville, Campbellsville, Hopkinsville, and Nicholasville are just fine with that.
W — Wifebeaters, a must have for late summer tailgates. The hottest color this season? Pink.
X — X, the rating given to most of your tailgates, tweets, and trash talk.
Y — Yum! Center, an NBA caliber arena that will never host an NBA game.
Z – ZigZag, the preferred rolling papers of the Louisville Cardinals.