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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Lies, Damn Lies and “What My Cousin Told Me”

Update:If you guys see any really ridiculous rumors flying around, please send them to my email address. Anything you read on a private/subscription forum should be captured as a screen shot. I’ll take the best rumors you find and post them later next week. Thanks!

Right now you be very hesitant about listening to anything presented as inside information. There’s going to be roughly 1% of all reports you’ll read the next several weeks that will be accurate — by either actually being in the know or by pure speculation. The 99% of other reports are going to be dumb stuff that just gains traction by forum trolls or out-of-state columnists wanting to tick off Kentucky fans for page views.

In the interest of sanity, remember these few pointers:

* Concering Rick Barnes rumors: Rick Barnes has taken himself out of consideration for the University of Kentucky job, as he will announce tonight despite actually being asked about the job.

* Real discussions with high-level UK Athletics people concerning Billy Gillispie or this team will never be held in an area where somebody making less than $150,000/yr can hear it. They will also not be held anywhere outside of Lexington.

* Unless you can come up with a reasonable plan for boosters to raise $5 Million or more, it is unlikely that your plan to oust Billy will work.

* Anything that is forwarded to you via email from your family or coworkers is almost certainly wrong. Also, if you get an email from your family or coworkers that has an attachment, DON’T CLICK ON THE ATTACHMENT!!!

* Replacing our current coach with Steve Masiello would bring the End of Times. I’m pretty sure he’s mentioned by name in Revelations.

* The same rules apply for Billy Behaving Badly rumors as last year: If there are no videos or pictures of bad behavior, then there is no substantial proof that Billy was behaving badly. Too many people have cell phones with video cameras. (Internet Terminology: “pixz/vidz or it didn’t happen.”)

* If Matt Jones promises you a t-shirt, you will not receive it. Sorry.

* Beware of crazy additions to Billy’s Memorandum of Understanding that suddenly start being leaked. I’ve already seen two references that Billy’s MoU requires UK to provide Billy with 1 vestal virgin a month for blood sacrifice to Ba’al. If that truly was the case, why haven’t there been missing student reports issued for members of the UK Fellowship of Christian Athletes?

* The success of non-major sports at UK does not detriment from the support given to men’s basketball. The University of Southern California and the University of Florida prove otherwise. Any attack on Mitch that involves Mitch letting basketball slide to benefit other sports is complete horse-hockey.

* Any frustrations made publicly by players (or players’ parents) should not be taken as gospel. More than likely they are just lashing out just like the rest of us fans.

* If you read a news report from some online media outlet (AOLSports, Deadspin, Yahoo! Sports, FoxSports, CBSSportsline, etc.) and they do NOT spell Billy’s last name correctly, that report is complete fabrication.

* When online media outlet (AOLSports, Deadspin, etc.) links to a rumormongering forum post(s), it does not actually validate the post(s)!

* Seth Davis is the Sith Apprentice to John Feinstein. Their tongues will be spilling words twisted with the Dark Side of the Force.

Stay safe and sane, Wildcat Nation.

Article written by The Fake Gimel Martinez

I may be fake, but my passion for UK sports is real. Probably put all my best work at Aseaofblue.com and firebilly.com, so go there when I start coasting here.