Yesterday we dissected Jorts’ game-by-game statistics to see if his facial hair affects his performance. We discovered that a clean-shaven Josh Harrellson is far more productive than Josh Harrellson with a chinstrap, a goatee, or a full beard. That theory was backed up last night when Jorts had 12 points, 11 rebounds (7 offensive), and 6 blocks with a silky smooth face.
Now it’s time to take this experiment to the next level. Ladies and gentlemen of Big Blue Nation, I think it’s time for a mustache. And not just any mustache, a Jortstache.
Think of the possibilities: 25+ points per game, 20+ rebounds per game, SEC Player of the Week on the reg, SportsCenter highlights on the reg, dunks on the reg, Jenn Brown interviews on the reg, shoe deals, jorts deals, and an NCAA Championship.
Make it happen, Jorts. You need it. Big Blue Nation needs it. Your teammates need it. Amurica needs it.