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Let’s Start The “Jortstache” Movement

jortstache

Yesterday we dissected Jorts’ game-by-game statistics to see if his facial hair affects his performance.  We discovered that a clean-shaven Josh Harrellson is far more productive than Josh Harrellson with a chinstrap, a goatee, or a full beard.  That theory was backed up last night when Jorts had 12 points, 11 rebounds (7 offensive), and 6 blocks with a silky smooth face.

Now it’s time to take this experiment to the next level.  Ladies and gentlemen of Big Blue Nation, I think it’s time for a mustache.  And not just any mustache, a Jortstache.

Think of the possibilities: 25+ points per game, 20+ rebounds per game, SEC Player of the Week on the reg, SportsCenter highlights on the reg, dunks on the reg, Jenn Brown interviews on the reg, shoe deals, jorts deals, and an NCAA Championship.

Make it happen, Jorts.  You need it. Big Blue Nation needs it.  Your teammates need it.  Amurica needs it.

Like The Jortstache on Facebook

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

50 Comments for Let’s Start The “Jortstache” Movement



  1. BillDozer
    12:35 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Don’t screw with a good thing. Jorts should remain clean shaven.



  2. new-school
    12:35 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    1st
    love it? Free Enes



  3. AgCamel
    12:36 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Amurica!



  4. new-school
    12:36 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    2nd



  5. Jesus is the ONLY way to Heaven!
    12:37 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    uuuuhhhhh NO!!!!!!



  6. What?
    12:37 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Knowing Josh…and the fact that it seems he can grow a beard overnight…he’ll be sporting a jortstache in Athens this weekend!

    The new 20/20 guy at UK!

    Go Jorts!!



  7. BoogieWoogie
    12:39 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    They took our Jobs!!



  8. Paul Crewe's Bookie
    12:42 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Awesome. This opens up a SLEW of Super Troopers-themed one-liners.

    Heh. Ramajorts.



  9. B-Rod
    12:43 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Ive been holding out for Jonny Hood to grow one..



  10. catinhat
    12:45 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    With Great Mustache comes Great Responsibility.



  11. Woodford
    12:45 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Carl Pavano of the Twins went with the ‘stache last year and had a pretty good year. Logically speaking, this could work for Jorts as well.



  12. catinhat
    12:45 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    And somebody photoshop Calipari with one.



  13. Paul Crewe's Bookie
    12:48 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Photoshop one on Handsome Jimmy (or whatever his name is) too. He can be Farva.



  14. Uk All Day
    12:49 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    That was for # 8.. I love that movie man.. Anything involving broken lizard is hilarious



  15. Wildcat Rico
    12:49 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Hey, it worked for Gimel Martinez!



  16. fish
    12:49 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    he looks like freddy mercury



  17. Uk All Day
    12:50 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    So am I not allowed to type p0rn stache? Why’s my comment say waiting for moderation



  18. elton john
    12:51 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    I will stand in line for that mustache ride. ja ja ja jorts and the cats



  19. bung
    12:55 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    How about a whole team of Cigar guys?



  20. WildcatRider
    12:56 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    JORTS DEALS!!!

    LOL



  21. duhville cat
    12:56 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    7) Dey tooook rrrr yobs!!!



  22. fish
    1:00 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    shenannigans



  23. Twitter Account Denied
    1:01 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    How about huge sideburns? AND a stache?



  24. slicky ricky
    1:01 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    please stop dunking on us! UUUUHHHHH



  25. fish
    1:02 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    i have an indian beard… apache here and apache there



  26. bigcat
    1:04 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    what about enes?



  27. Seriously
    1:04 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    I think Josh should go full Wolverine.



  28. The Fake Gimel Martinez
    1:06 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    I support this movement. Obviously.



  29. catinhat
    1:07 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    He needs to clean-shave his head to complete the look.



  30. Shagari's Poo
    1:09 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Fu Manchu is a must



  31. Lando CALrisian
    1:12 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts with a Hulk Hogan Handlebar ‘stache, brother! haha Picture that bleeched white. lol……..



  32. tdogg4033011
    1:19 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    stache or not, keep doin work Josh …… ole’ boy is ballin



  33. Gimel Martinez
    1:23 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    I like the idea



  34. BlueFin
    1:24 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    It’s like Richie Farmer on HGH. Lets not and say we did! Don’t mess with whats workin.



  35. Rush3Redux
    1:27 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    You realize, of course, he’s actually going to do this now. At least if his response to the Carlton request is any indication.



  36. jdizzle
    1:31 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    i love this post. and, from the female perspective– he looks way better without facial hair



  37. catty
    1:35 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    NO NO NO NO NO!



  38. BlueJ
    1:37 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    I think he is just focused on scoring the ball to much. Really TJ has played great. The UL game he he set Jorts up with so many dunks, blocked shots and got the offense going on most possessions. The only thing that has change is the defense now knows and are focused on stopping him.



  39. Norm
    2:43 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    John Wall might have Reebok, but Harrelson will be the new face of Wrangler now that Brett Favre is retiring.



  40. stfu
    2:47 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    2 – First Fail!



  41. Matt Jones' Barber
    3:26 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Pits up!



  42. sunnycat
    3:42 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    The Ron Jeremy stache…..I dont know.



  43. sunnycat
    3:45 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Jorts does have a very serious and determined facial expression during the game. Dude has stepped up and is ballin.



  44. irishwildcat
    4:03 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    behind the jortstache there is another jortstache, behind that jortstache…a fist



  45. forde's deepdarksecrets
    4:09 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    It’s the way to attract womens volleyball players.



  46. Salty Bartender
    4:32 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Is he related to Gimel? Jorts Martinez



  47. FlashOfBlue
    4:41 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    I don’t know about this. Remember the PatterFro Experiment?



  48. Juice
    5:02 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    Ummmm…. Jorts with Stache=Young Freddie Mercury?



  49. No dancing allowed!
    9:28 pm January 4, 2011 Permalink

    lol