We made it through another week, kiddos, and just like this entire summer so far, it seemed to go by pretty quickly. This week was filled with the mixed bag of some new beginnings and some ends for a few of our favorite Cats. Scott Rigot finally got his foreign big man when he landed The Member at Duquesne. Then, word got out that Mark Coury might follow him out of town, although the final chips are yet to fall. But, just when you and Pedro were ready to shed your tears, we welcomed Kelenna Azubuike back home and fell in love with the possibilities of The Big Humble, Daniel Orton, controlling the paint at Rupp in 2009. Somewhere in the middle of this madness, LeBron kicked off his summer camp and John Clay, Dick Gabriel and Eric Crawford passed the fickle UK fan test.
But, lost in all of this Big Blue Greatness were a few stories that are absolutely, imperative to your happiness and more helpful to your pitching ability than Viagra.
– If you like the smell of 3 day old urine and yearn for an unshaven woman, you‘re in luck. Bonnaroo (above) is upon us, folks. Almost everyone here will be “totally tuned in with the scene, man” and probably unemployed. So, pack your acid, leave your dignity behind and head on down to Manchester, TN.
Wait a second. Pearl Jam, Kanye West, Metallica, Chris Rock and Lupe Fiasco are performing this year? What happened to Bonnaroo? That is really going to disappoint the people that I know who make the journey to the music festival every year. But, maybe it’s not so bad, after all. Wait…it probably is. Sorry, Matt.
– There’s been a lot made about the economic situation of this fine country but it appears that our Brian Boitano-loving neighbors to the north are feeling the pain in the most sacred of places. There is a shortage of exotic dancers in Canada and their final hope for gyrating jugginess is the foreign student market. This is, of course, great news for all of us who tell our significant others that we spent all that money because she was just trying to put herself through college. Good work, Canada.
– If you’re the kind of guy that likes to look man-pretty, then this might be of interest to you. A spa in New York is giving facials using bird dookie. I‘m no Drew Rosenhaus, but this story just screams of endorsement dollars for Osi Umenyiora. (WARNING: Don’t click on the Osi link at work unless you get paid to look at big beautiful booties in thongs).
– For all of you out there who might have thought at some point “Man, I hope Chris Hansen isn’t in this house when I walk in”, I have two things for you to remember. First, if you’re going commit some sort of vulgar crime, don’t make the conviction so easy. Second, if you get caught committing one of these crimes, don’t order an investigation of yourself. That is, unless you’re looking for that special jail-house love. I mean, maybe that’s what you’re into.
– There are a lot of fun facts about Central Park, but which one is the most interesting? Is it that Home Alone 2 was filmed there? Nope. Maybe that it’s real estate value is $582 billion? Not quite. What if I told you that Central Park is the hot spot for gay birds? Yeah, I’m as surprised as you are. I’m not sure if they have televisions anywhere in the park, but I’m still blaming it on MTV’s NEXT.
Well, that’s all for this week, folks. Enjoy your beautiful weekend and make sure that you celebrate the father figure(s) in your life and thank them for making you the solid Kentucky fan that you are today. In honor of this weekend’s Father’s Day festivities, the following video goes out to Steve Beisner – a man who always made his finest french toast in an Appetite for Destruction t-shirt. Enjoy.
****UPDATE: Tim Russert just passed away at age 58. I’ve always enjoyed Russert and, in addition to being a great sports fan, he was very one of the best at what he did. Russert’s “Meet the Press” was one of the few quality political talk shows in a genre that often loses my interest and has become increasingly filled with over-the-top hosts and reports aimed to stir the masses and get ratings. Sad news, indeed. My prayers are with his family.