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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

KSR Bachelor Running Diary (Episode 8): The Fake Boyfriend Joke Backfired

The picture on each week’s post is awarded to the craziest girl from the previous episode. This week it is awarded to Tierra, again. Tierra faked hypothermia in the last episode. (This photo award is becoming to Tierra what the SEC Freshmen of the Week award is to Nerlens Noel. This is 4 straight.)

When it comes to The Bachelor, I’m here for the crazy. I have no interest in the final outcome of the show. The contestants’ future happiness or despair is of no concern to me. The purpose of The Bachelor Running Diary is to document the crazy things these girls say and do on national television. The Bachelor Running Diary, much like playing basketball at Kentucky, can’t hide crazy girls and is not for everybody. 

Episode 1: 50 Shades of Crazy

Episode 2: I’m Vegan But I Love the Beef

Episode 3: All Dates Should End in Confetti

Episode 4: The Roller Derby That Never Was

Episode 5: The Soliloquy to End All Soliloqies

Episode 6: WAIT… Did Desiree Say She Lived in a Tent

Episode 7: The Night The Sparkle Disappeared

We are now to the point in this show where most of the crazy has been weeded out and it is becoming increasingly more difficult to watch. Last week we had to say goodbye to Running Diary super star Tierra. This was tough for us. Nobody said and did crazier things than she Tierra on a week to week basis. But boy did she go out with a bang. She may have lost her sparkle last week, but don’t think for a second that she has gained any control over her facial expressions.

Luke is here once again, and though there is no video this week he will certainly have some things to say.

KSR Bachelor Running Diary (Episode 8)

8:00- Chris Harrison: “The Bachelor two night event starts now…”  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

8:04- AshLee is made for this show. She says things that sound so planned and pre-written. As if every moment is her last on TV. She just said “And here I am about to introduce this man that I have fallen IN TO love with to my family.” Yes, she said it so slow that “into” became to separate words entirely.

8:05- It’s already time for the “What someone said/What Luke heard” game.

What AshLee said: “I want a man as amazing as my dad.”

What Luke heard: “She wants to make love to her dad?”

8:07- AshLee says about bringing Sean to her house, “I’ve been dreaming about this day since I was 4 or 5 years old.” Why did she dream about bringing her second husband home at such a young age?

8:11- We meet AshLee’s Dad, and I observe that he looks like Mike Ditka.

Luke: “So does her Mom.”

8:16- Sean gets the okay from Mike Ditka to propose to his daughter. This seems reasonable. I mean, they’ve known each other for 7 minutes.

8:17- As Mike Ditka talks about AshLee, Luke says “This is actually really sweet.”

“Yeah, it’s terrible.” -Me

8:18- “Sean makes me feel like I can conquer anything.”-AshLee, as she continues her quest to conquer the challenge to use every cliche ever uttered.

*Commercial*

8:22- They just went to that fish place in Seattle. If someone asked me what I knew about Seattle I’d say “They have a big needle, they have the Seahawks, they have a lot of butthurt over the Sonics leaving, my friend Brian goes to school out there, and OH YEAH they have that fish throwing place that is featured on every show ever.” Now I know Catherine lives there.

8:24- Catherine acts like a child, but she did just make a very impressive one handed catch on a slimy fish. As a UK fan, this is the most impressive athletic achievement I’ve seen in over a week.

8:28- Catherine and Sean just chewed gum and stuck it on a wall with a lot of other gum. I don’t know what to say about this, really. I guess this is another thing I just learned about Seattle. There is a wall of chewed gum.

8:30- Catherine’s date is boring, so this seems like a good time to mention that Luke and I came very close to going to a Clint Black concert last night at the Nashville Symphony. How close is very close? We walked up to the box office and inquired about ticket price. That’s how close we came. Tickets were $40 to see Clint Black. I was fully prepared to pay $12. Instead of seeing Clint Black, we went to Taco Bell. Luke got out of the car and hugged the lady working the window. Hindsight is 20/20, and I’m really glad we skipped Clint Black.

8:32- Sean did push ups with Catherine on his back in the living room. This must’ve been in response to someone asking “SOOO, what have you guys been doing the past few weeks?”

8:35- Sean talked to Catherine’s sisters. If I told you Catherine’s sisters were supportive, I would be telling a complete lie. I checked out their left ring fingers, and they aren’t married. I think they’re just jealous of her because she’s young and pretty. Or because their Mom let Catherine get a nose ring and not them.

*Commercial*

8:39- I’m not making this up. Luke just asked me if Lesley was still on the show. The same Lesley he watched get sent home last week.

8:42- It’s Wedding dress’ day. She said she’s ready to see Sean in the real world. This makes total sense. Because the real world is totally a place where cameras follow you around as you hold hands and walk around a small military town.

8:45- Sean says “Lindsay brings out the kid in me.”

Me: “He just said the same thing about Catherine.”

Luke: “Maybe he’s got a lot of kids in him.”

8:50- Wedding dress just put Sean through a light workout that, while easy for him, would’ve left me sore for a week. She also said the words “Kiss me harder” out loud on national TV.

8:55- Wedding dress has a father. He is a 2 star general in the army. Basically, he is the 2 Chainz of the military. Or something like that.

9:00- Lindsay’s parents approve of Sean. I miss the old Wedding dress days when she was doing stuff like wearing wedding dresses, getting drunk, and falling down. She is now a Walter McCarty corner 3 point shot away from completing the biggest comeback in the history of comebacks.

*Commercial*

9:08- It’s time for Desiree who looks like Katie Holmes date. They went hiking because that’s what she likes to do on a normal Saturday. I wouldn’t even call what they did “hiking,” but who cares?

9:15- A dude comes by and acts like he doesn’t know why the cameras are there. He tells Desiree he loves her. This has to be a joke, right? Desiree was laughing.

*Commercial*

9:18- It was a joke. And it was a bad joke. Keanu Reeves thought this guy was a bad actor.

9:20- Sean wins Desiree’s parents over immediately, but the brother Nathan seems like he may be a tougher sell.

9:22- Nathan, talking about the whole show/process, says “I think this is stupid.” This may be true, but in the show’s defense, Nathan has tattoos on his hands.

9:28- Desiree’s brother just used the word reciprocation 4 times and called Sean a playboy. I’ve got to hand it to Nathan the tattooed hand guy. He saw his 15 minutes of fame opportunity and he seized it. My man was ready. He might have cost his sister a lifetime of happiness, but by golly girls are going to know who he is when he walks in the bar this weekend.

9:34- As if Nathan hadn’t gotten enough attention, he also claimed this week’s KSR Bachelor Running Diary Captain Obvious quote of the week:

“I don’t see it ending well for her if he doesn’t choose her.” Groundbreaking stuff, Nate.

*Commercial*

9:38- Oh look, it’s Sean with his shirt off. Drink.

ROSE CEREMONY

Before the first rose can be given, Desiree who looks like Katie Holmes pulls Sean away in a last ditch effort to apologize for her brother. This is last call level desperation.

First rose goes to AshLee, the personal organizer who has two parents that both look like Mike Ditka.

Second rose goes to Wedding dress. Has anyone made a t-shirt for her comeback yet?

And the final rose goes to… no one. Yet. Sean walks away to look at the girls pictures and think. Chris Harrison shows up to tell Sean to take his time and make sure he gets this right. DYNAMITE DROP IN, CHRIS!!

*Commercial* (The Fish McBites commercial is awesome.)

9:54- And, the final rose goes to…… Catherine the vegan who loves the beef and is one of two girls left out of the three that makes Sean feel like a kid.

9:56- Thanks to her brother, Desiree is going home. Girls, you can learn from this. If you ever go on the Bachelor in the future and you have a brother with tattoos on his hands, maybe don’t tell him you are bringing the guy from The Bachelor home. In fact, don’t tell him you’re going on the show at all. If you happen to win, tell your brother you met the guy playing coed flag football. Make up some crazy story about trying to grab his flag but accidentally pulling his pants down. Everyone will laugh and your brother won’t have to premeditate using the word reciprocation multiple times in 30 seconds. Just trust me on this one, girls. Everyone wins.

9:57- Desiree took this news like most girls. Not extremely well: “I don’t even know what I’m going to do about my life. I took such a risk coming here and hoping for the best. All I want to do is make someone happy. That’s all I want to do.” If that’s what she wants, she might want to cut back on her brother’s involvement in her life.

9:59- As I see how frustrated and angry Desiree is, I begin having second thoughts about “The Rebounder.” I think Desiree would kill anyone who touched or talked to her right now with her bare hands.

 

Tomorrow night is a special “Bachelor Tells All,” in which Sean won’t tell all. He’ll tell some and say things they want him to say. I won’t be writing about it. In fact, I’m not sure I’ll even watch it. If I do I’ll tweet about it. You can follow me for my thoughts.

 

@AFlenerKSR

 

 

 

Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

54 Comments for KSR Bachelor Running Diary (Episode 8): The Fake Boyfriend Joke Backfired



  1. Ryan Harrow's Flu Bug that hates the bachelor
    8:05 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    OMG……………….NO MORE!



  2. Scott
    8:05 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    *Dark Knight Joker voice* And Here. We. Go.



  3. Chris
    8:05 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Blow up in 3 2 1



  4. Scott
    8:06 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    On a serious note, if you all took the time to read these they are more entertaining then what the Cats have put on the court the last two games.



  5. Devastation INC
    8:07 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    walked in work after a long weekend and thought life could not be any worse and then saw this crap!



  6. Chad
    8:13 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Please, stop doing this to us. We can’t handle anymore!!! Start your on BS site to put this BS on. #5 nailed it, actually, all of them nailed it. STOP!!! Hey, there is a UT site that would love to have your correspondence, but not here in Lexington!!



  7. Freethrow
    8:15 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Until this season I had never watched this show. Sure, I caught glimpses, but always flipped to something better. This season, being total mush around very cute dark hair and dark eyed girls, began melting the instant I saw Des. She is my kind of gal on almost every level, so I have watched each show just to see her, she makes 62 year old horn dog’s heart thump and that takes some doing these days. Ha

    Scripted, Scripted, Scripted is the keyword with the Nathan deal. I can almost guarantee, with the long and touching goodbye last night, Des “is not” out of the picture. This audience manipulation on steroids just as the continued ceremony that gave Tierra a Rose week after week.

    I love you, Des. 🙂



  8. michael
    8:17 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    I don’t think they’re is a section on KSR that I can scroll past faster than this one.



  9. R. Smith
    8:20 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    I think KSR should keep getting the word out about available gameday tickets. Lets motivate the fans to show up there and be rowdy. Make it a tailgate party atmosphere, where gameday is an event upon itself. What happens in the Mizzou game or the state of our program isn’t a part of it.



  10. Freethrow
    8:21 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    #8, that was always me before. In fact, I am pretty much bored to tears with the show until Des is on camera. Ha



  11. Wall2Cousins
    8:23 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    i think KSR is having fun with you whiners on here…..i love reading the funny crap you all post on here….keep up the great work Aaron.



  12. AaronsDildo
    8:23 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    For the 5th time…..get this crap off the site. It would fit nicely in US Magazine, or Gay Men’s Weekly……..



  13. Mike
    8:24 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron….Why do you feel the need to be posting this trash? My guess is that most of us would rather just omit this type of reportage than to have you use as filler material.



  14. Wall2Cousins
    8:30 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    13 because people enjoy listening to marks like you whine and complain about it….thanks again!



  15. Steve
    8:35 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Please start doing updates on Days of Our Lives. It can’t be any worse than this awful series.



  16. Jason M
    8:37 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Flenor, this is great stuff. The hometowns rocked my world yesterday! Can’t wait for the SEAN tells all tonight!



  17. Gyr
    8:38 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Why does Matt Jones continue to allow this crap on KSR. If we wanted to hear about the bachelor we could easily go to E! Online, TMZ or a billion other sleazy entertainment sites. Please stick to Kentucky sports.



  18. Rockfield, KY
    8:42 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    I like the blog because I spent my night watching House of Cards instead, but please no more 2 Chainz praise or references. He’s seriously the worst rapper I’ve ever heard, and there are plenty of turrible rappers.

    Also, if the girl doesn’t want guys to meet her brother, better not bring them home at all. I’m guessing that he still lives with mom and dad from the description you gave of him.



  19. Kacie's Legs
    8:45 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Missed this last night, so thanks for the recap! Love the Walter McCarty reference!



  20. catfan
    8:46 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Catherine is gonna win it!!!!!!!!!! She’s vegan but she sure like the bone! RUFF!



  21. I think
    8:48 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    I’m gonna go out on a limb and say the multi-talented Kige Ramsey loves the Bachelor run downs. Kige does everything on Youtube and he is all about variety. This is spectacular for the site, keep it up Aaron.



  22. Fags forever
    8:50 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Oh I just can’t wait to cream on this post every week. Kentucky sports just bores me to death. We need more posts like this so me and my gay friends can have something to read, keep them coming, to hell with Kentucky sports!!



  23. Matt
    8:54 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    These posts are dumb but at least he is religiously watching a show with 1 dude and whole bunch of chicks. If Flener gets this intense about the Bachelorette I will be worried.



  24. Duh
    8:55 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron if there is ever something that you need to put accomplishments in life the comment section on these blog post have to be number 1



  25. Stop!
    8:55 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    This s&!# makes Corey Nichols posts look insightful. Get this crap off of KSR already.



  26. cuzthereisno4
    9:02 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron is a big ol’ faggit.
    Nothing else needs saying



  27. Fake Tom Leach
    9:06 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    The only way this show can be good is if they get the engagement ring from Genesis Diamonds



  28. Crizzle
    9:19 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Awful. Worst piece of dog sh*t I’ve ever read.



  29. MustangCat
    9:22 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Well, glad this is over with. Never watch, never read. Biggest waste of time on TV. All the reality shows for that matter. Wasted space here. We cover UK sports, remember?!



  30. Unemployed
    9:36 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Just got fired from my job for laughing uncontrollably while reading the comment section. Thanks a lot Aaron!



  31. Pamola
    9:48 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Once again, this cracks me up!!!! It’s also funny to read all of the complaining about this posts. I find all of it quite humorous. If you don’t like it, don’t read it….skip it and move on. I for one, see it as some nice comic relief, much needed with the state of our basketball team right now.



  32. Jdn1016
    9:50 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Why is KSR wasting space on this crap?



  33. bluristhurr
    9:50 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    For god-sake Miss Aaron it is a reality t.v. show! Do you still think these shows are real? What’s so fascinating about girls acting crazy?



  34. Bubba Earl
    9:52 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Who Cares! I thought this site was to discuss Kentucky sports.



  35. Rockfield, KY
    9:56 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    28. How does one read dog fecal matter?



  36. DB
    9:58 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Why do we need to read this stuff….lets discuss sports not this stuff. Who cares?



  37. goukats
    10:14 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Can’t understand how you city slickers can get so caught up on faux reality shows like this when there is a new episodes of reality on “Jerry Springer” and “Maury” evey single day.Talk about intense,there’s fighting,screaming,true confessios,and it’s all real.Sissies.



  38. bart edwards
    10:19 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Why are the “lavender fans” calling it “whining” when the true sports fans on here comment that this site is not Gay Mens’ Digest, and that blog entries like this one have no place on here? It’s not whining. Whining is what our gay fans do about these comments.



  39. ollie
    10:22 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Fleeeeeeeeenor!!!!!!!! You rock brother! Good stuff.



  40. Why??
    10:36 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Fleeeeeeenor!!!! YOU SUCK! HORRIBLE STUFF!



  41. UKAlum
    10:40 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Why is there such a hate towards members of the LGBT community in the comment section? We are all members of the BBN. This is why people look down on KY.



  42. oldmaninblue
    10:40 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    This post is a waste of time, as is the show, but don’t you readers realize that until you quit screaming (through your posts) to stop putting this human garbage on, they will just keep doing it. When no one is reading this site and the folks at KRS realize we’re onto to how they don’t care what we think, this stuff will keep happening. Even me posting this, is on more hit on the website and that’s what they can show advertizers.



  43. matt
    11:38 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Is this serious? Cannot believe KSR has a post like this. Very disappointed.



  44. matt
    11:39 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron Flener loses all credibility.



  45. Nevets Deb
    11:47 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Flener, we need you to do a running diary of Sean Tells All. Please.



  46. jhnny
    11:47 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    And the site takes another fall. God, if your going to blog about a TV show, please pick one that some of us actually watch. The only people who watch this show are girls and Matt.



  47. BTI
    11:59 am February 19, 2013 Permalink

    I thought I sucked… Whew! Thanks, Fleener.



  48. Hmmm
    1:10 pm February 19, 2013 Permalink

    I wonder if KSR is doing an Andy Kaufman routine where its all an inside joke with them. I really hope so and they let everyone in on it, and soon. I may be looking for a new site for my UK info.

    I’ll be honest I didn’t even read the running diary, but it’s irrelevant to me and why I come to this site. Running out of ideas guys?? How about a “Where are they now” or something of old UK players. Hell I was surprised when I read that Rodrick Rhodes is coaching in state of KY. His story would be real interesting to me, I believe Pinto pushed him out of his scholarship and made him go elsewhere. Interview Rhodes, not this crap…



  49. Ken
    1:11 pm February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Fleener, any way we could convince you to stop the bachelor updates? What a waste of space.



  50. Catherine
    1:48 pm February 19, 2013 Permalink

    I win. Check the spoilers douchebags.



  51. californa cat
    3:19 pm February 19, 2013 Permalink

    For some reasons the girl never shuts up about the bachelor when it’s on.
    The recap has saved me from paying actauly attention to these rants

    For this I Thank you
    Bring on the crazy bitchs



  52. Elton John, Liberace, Boy George and Ricky Martin
    8:45 pm February 19, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron, Heeeeey Boyfriend. Love the GAY post on here….Maybe your next post could be about your favorite anal lube.



  53. AbbyNormal
    9:42 pm February 19, 2013 Permalink

    It’s so funny to come on the comment section and read all the hatred. Do these idiots know that you can just scroll past the bachelor section? Actually you can scroll to any article you want to. You all hate this blog so much, but care even more to keep telling everyone about it. Snoozefest!



  54. Jimi
    4:51 am February 20, 2013 Permalink

    Come on Aaron, what’s next, a thread about America’s Next Top Model?
    This has alternative life style written allover it…. :()