After prying my clenched hands off the Augusta airport terminal door, Matt finally got me on the airplane and back in Kentucky after four days at The Masters. We had an incredible time with all the people from IZOD and Maxim and, somehow, some way, lived to tell about it.
Here are a few things we learned during our first, and certainly not our last, trip to The Masters. We didn’t see a whole lot of live golf, but it was a hell of a time.
Don’t eat the egg salad sandwich.
I can’t stress this enough. It was like eating a stick of butter between two pieces of white bread. A lot of people will tell you the egg salad sandwich is a must-eat at The Masters, and those people are liars. I’d rather swallow the one dollar bill and two quarters it cost to buy the damn thing.
Stick to the pimento cheese.
IZOD and Maxim know how to throw a party.
They spared no expense on the Maxim Clubhouse and IZOD Social Hub right down the street from the golf course. The backyard of Augusta’s Executive Club was turned into a non-stop party for the week, equipped with a green carpet, couches, TVs, an open bar, more TVs, Maxim models, another TV, and two more couches.
Oh, look, another TV. That makes 27.
Is that Lynn Swann? That’s Lynn Swann.
Jim Furyk’s crew invited me along to follow Furyk during play on Friday. That crew included his agents, wife, father, mother and Lynn Swann.
Why Lynn Swann, you ask?
I walked the course with him and the family and still have no earthly idea what the connection is.
Even more bizarre: Swann was working the tournament all week as a member of the club. He was out on the course, decked in the Augusta National uniform, casually walking around like a regular Joe. I even caught him telling someone to quiet down.
Rickie Fowler just wants to have fun.
A lot of the participants in The Masters spent their downtime batting off the nerves and easing the pressure that awaited on the golf course. Rickie Fowler? He was just a bro being a bro.
Fowler shot a 68 in Thursday’s opening round after visiting the Maxim Clubhouse Wednesday evening. He was the only non-IZOD golfer at the party, meaning he showed up because he wanted to, not because his contract required it.
Fowler did, however, stay away from the refreshments and he headed home a little earlier than most partygoers, but seeing his fun-loving attitude on the night before a 10:56 a.m. tee time in the opening round of The Masters made me a new fan.
That guy was in fourth place after the first day.
John Daly was in town, being John Daly.
John Daly hasn’t been in The Masters field since 2006, but the missing invitation didn’t keep him out of Augusta. Daly lived out of an RV in the Hooters parking lot all week, selling merchandise, autographs and posing with his fans. He said he worked 12-15 hours per day outside the RV to meet the demand.
It’s one of the most John Daly things John Daly could ever do.
Paulina Gretzky is hotter than hell.
Wayne’s baby girl was in town to follow her boyfriend, Dustin Johnson, as he did whatever it is he did on the golf course.
Google her and check out those Great Ones.
I would shoot a 132 in The Masters.
And that’s if I played the ball up and took a few mulligans.
The greens are insane, 100 times more difficult than they look on TV, and whoever picked the pin placements is truly an asshole.
Dr. J is cooler than the other side of a frozen a pillow.
Confession: I didn’t recognize Dr. J when he visited the IZOD Social Hub. We talked about rain, waterproof tents, and Instagram before I realized it was the Doc. I’m not proud of that, either.
Looking back on it, I guess the Philadelphia 76ers hat he was wearing should’ve given it away.
Spencer Levin is KSR’s new second favorite golfer.
Josh Teater will always be No. 1 in our golf-loving hearts, but Spencer Levin made a serious case to pass him on the KSR Favorite Golfer List.
Spencer is currently out with an injury so IZOD flew him in to simply hang out at the Maxim Clubhouse. I really wish I could tell you stories from the KSR-Levin adventures, but, as the saying goes, what happens in the IZOD Social Hub, stays in the IZOD Social Hub.
Spencer and his red pants were our audience for Wednesday morning’s radio show.
Google Glass is awesome, yet terrifying.
We shared a house with the project manager for Google’s new invention, Google Glass. If you haven’t heard of it, don’t worry, you will soon. I won’t attempt to explain it because I really don’t have words for the technology, but you can read about it here.
Of course, the first thing I did with the glasses was watch Kige Ramsey videos. I’m not sure if that’s what Google has in mind for the project, but that’s where I took it. And it was phenomenal.
KSR will forever be on #TeamIZOD.
Thanks for the memories. And the watch.