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Know Your Enemy: Vanderbilt Commodores

Mosley, a KSR founding father, once had a feature entitled “Know Your Enemy” in order for UK fans to be fully informed about their next opponent. While Mosley has moved on to bigger and better things, our enemies continue to be part of our life.  I want to keep us prepared on a weekly basis.

 

“Tis best to weigh the enemy more mighty than he seems.” -Bill Shakespeare

 

Yes, I realize basketball season has started. But, there is still a football game tomorrow. And I’m predicting a win for the Cats tomorrow. You know why? Because not once have I ever seen someone have to answer for their sports predictions. If they lose, oh well. No one will remember this post. If they win, no one will remember this post. But I’ll remind everyone that I predicted it.

Tomorrow, Kentucky welcomes Vanderbilt (I pronounce it Vaughn-der-built because it sounds snootier) to Commonwealth Stadium for a pillow fight for the ages.  Hopefully UK has a few bars of soap in their pillowcase.

I spend a lot of time in Nashville, and while I have many friends who heartily cheer for Vanderbilt with class,  their students are THE WORST. The worst kind of smart person is the smart person who tells you they are smart. Don’t think Vandy students suck? Read this.

But, friend or student, tomorrow they’re all the enemy. Get to know them.

 

Location:

 

Vaughnderbuilt is located in the West End/Hillsboro Village district of Nashville, TN. Nashville, known to some as Music City, USA, is located at the intersection of I-24, I-40, and I-65. It is home to the Nashville Predators, the Tennessee Titans, the Grand Ole Opry, and our very own Mrs. Tyler Thompson.  Nashville will play host to the Men’s SEC basketball tournament 3 out of the next 4 years.

There are many great things about Nashville. Vanderbilt is not one of them.

 

Notable People Associated with Vanderbilt on Wikipedia:


Al Gore- Former Vice President Al Gore attended Vanderbilt. An interesting note about his attending Vanderbilt is that he did not graduate. I guess creating the Internet turned out to be pretty lucrative.  I’m not certain about this, but I think he may be the only Vanderbilt student in history to leave school early to become a professional.

 

Jay Cutler- The current Chicago Bears starting QB played football for the Commodores. He is also married to former reality TV star Kristin Cavallari. If you’re into doing yourself favors, follow @NotJayCutler on twitter. Trust me.

In one of the greatest acts in the history of quick wittedness, Drew Franklin once had this exchange with Jay Cutler as Drew was texting someone on his phone:

Jay: “No pictures please.”

Drew: “I’m not taking your picture.”

Jay: “Do you know who I am?”

Drew: “Rex Grossman?”

It was at that point they were pulled apart and Drew dropped the mic and walked away.

 

Cheerleader Scouting Report:

My mother’s words from my childhood are ringing in my ear right now:

“Aaron, if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t talk about Vanderbilt’s cheerleaders.”

I’ll do you one better, Mom. I’m won’t even post their picture.

 

Football History:

LOL.

 

Coach:

What should I do for my next publicity stunt?

 

James Franklin- You can’t argue that James Franklin isn’t doing a good job. He took Vandy to a bowl in his first season, he is recruiting at a high level, and he has their fan base excited about their team. He also has them in good position to go to their second consecutive bowl game this season. He needs to win 2 out of his last 4 games, which include games against Kentucky, Ole Miss, Tennessee, and Wake Forest. Can you ask for much more at Vanderbilt? 

James is also the only coach in the SEC that I know of who had a coaching stint in the Danish American Football Federation. He was the offensive coordinator for something called the Roskilde Kings. Maybe Joker should get him to put in a good word.

 

Players:

“Guys, our end zone is that way.”

Jordan Rodgers- The brother of Green Bay Packers Super Bowl MVP Aaron Rodgers, Jordan is the starting quarterback at Vanderbilt and is not in any State Farm commercials. The NCAA deemed it a violation for him to receive the discount double check.

 

Zac, how do you feel about the quality of the women on Vanderbilt’s campus?

Zac Stacy- Known to his teammates as “Z-man”, Zac has one of the least creative nicknames I’ve ever heard. They couldn’t call him “Zack Morris” or “Preppy”? Come on, man.

Zac has 19 TD’s between the start of last season and this season. Unlike most Vanderbilt athletes, he might have a chance to go pro in sports.

 

Summary:

Vanderbilt not only beat us last year. They embarrassed us. I was there. It was terrible. I want revenge. We’ve still only won a single game. And I take the blame. I haven’t been to one game yet. Tomorrow, thanks to friend of KSR Gabe Pendleton, that will change. We are making the trip from Glasgow to Commonwealth Stadium. Call us gluttons for punishment, day wasters, or ravishingly handsome. Whatever the case, we’re going. UK is winning. And Vaughnderbuilt students still suck.

 

Kentucky Football 2012: Still fielding a team.

 

@AFlenerKSR

Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

12 Comments for Know Your Enemy: Vanderbilt Commodores



  1. WalkersGoggles
    8:18 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    I really hope that Rex/Drew exchange is true as I lived in Chicago and Rex is the ultimate douche.



  2. Rob
    8:23 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    Who cares, basketball has started.



  3. tdogg40330
    8:33 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    2) I care, what else ya got to watch tomorrow?? Might as well cheer ya boys on !!!



  4. SoCal Will
    8:46 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    I thought Al Gore went to Harvard where he roomed with Tommy Lee Jones before serving in Viet Nam?



  5. Tired of Being 1 of 12 games
    9:02 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    Tennessee likes to think of themselves as a football school, did you know that they have started SEC play 0-5 for the 3rd year in a row?



  6. Climategate
    9:06 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    Al “happy ending” Gore? Yet another reason to despise VU.



  7. ibpoe
    9:33 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    It’s UK football, who cares?



  8. Joe
    10:01 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink


  9. Greg
    10:21 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    Yeah al gore went on to graduate from Harvard I do believe



  10. Puke
    11:46 pm November 2, 2012 Permalink

    Wahhhh. This is some garbage whining at its finest.



  11. Jokers buyout clause
    8:11 am November 3, 2012 Permalink

    Joker wanted to resign before the game and I would not let him. We need that cash to make it through the next couple of years. Then, everyone will forget how much he sucketh as a coach, and we will get an OC position at Lafayette.



  12. ChemCatUK
    9:18 am November 3, 2012 Permalink

    I think you mean, “Guys, THEIR endzone is that way.”
    Still, funny post. My colleague is a huge UT fan and hates the Vols more than any other team.