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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Know Your Enemy: The Georgia Bulldogs

 

Mosley, a KSR founding father, once had a feature entitled “Know Your Enemy” in order for UK fans to be fully informed about their next opponent. While Mosley has moved on to bigger and better things, our enemies continue to be part of our life.  I want to keep us prepared on a weekly basis.

 

“Tis best to weigh the enemy more mighty than he seems.” -Bill Shakespeare

 

Mother nature must be from Kentucky. She gives us beautiful days at Keeneland, great days for fishing and wildlifing (Matt made me say it), and she even sends lightening when the football team is in trouble.  If you can have a mother on your side, mother nature has to be in your top five along with mother goose, your own mother, mother Theresa, and your baby mother.

 

Last week didn’t go well. This season has not gone well. Those are facts. More facts: Georgia is coming to town this weekend. The are your enemy. You need to know them.

 

Location:

 

 

I usually spend this portion of the weekly write up tearing down the place in which our enemy is located. I tell you how terrible it is and why no one would ever want to live there. That will not be happening today. When it comes to places in the world, Athens, GA is my favorite. I’ve traveled to Athens upon two occasions, both within the past year.  Both have left me needing to leave due to a lack of hydration, yet also left me aching to go back.

There are restaurants and music everywhere you turn. Downtown, there are over 100 bars within five blocks.  I don’t know how anyone has ever graduated from the University of Georgia. Their degrees garner a level of respect from me that I’ve given only to my family and Rob Bromley’s injury report.  Georgia graduates have not only completed their classwork, they have displayed a level of self control of which most of us normal humans are incapable.

Athens is not the enemy, you guys. Georgia’s football team is the enemy.

 

Notable Alumni and People from Athens (People named Bubba Division):

 


Bubba Watson (and his wife Angie)

Your reigning Masters champion who uses a pink driver and encourages the crowd to make noise on the first tee at the Ryder Cup is a Georgia graduate. He played golf for the Bulldogs.  His wife Angie played basketball for the Lady Bulldogs and then went on to play in the women’s professional basketball league the NBA pays for to satisfy title nine.

 


Bubba Sparxxx

If you are from LaGrange, GA and saw this picture and thought to yourself “Man, that looks a lot like my old pal Warren Anderson Mathis”, you are not wrong. That is him. Warren Anderson Mathis is his christian name. He moved to Athens after high school and is now a southern rapper known as Bubba Sparxxx.  If you’re like most of us, you probably got your first kiss during his most notable song, “Ms. New Booty.” I will now attempt to use Bubba Sparxxx lyrics somewhere before the end of this post.

 

Cheerleader Scouting Report:

 

 

Is this a picture of the Georgia cheerleaders or Georgia cheerleader action figures?  I’m going “action figures” because that grass looks too nice to be real. I’d also suggest cleaning up this mess of toys before that big storm in the background hits.

 

Football History:

Better than most. They’ve claimed 5 national titles. Whatever that means. Can you just claim a national title whenever you want? Hey Joker, you can save your job. Just claim a national title.

Georgia has won the SEC title 12 times. That’s 3rd place historically behind Alabama and Tennessee.  Better than 4th, I guess.

 

Coach:

 

 

Mark Richt- Mark Richt has pulled off a rare feat at Georgia. He has been just good enough and just frustrating enough to the Bulldog fan base to keep his job yet always remain on the hot seat.  THE MAN IS 111-39 ALL TIME AT GEORGIA!!! (If someone did that at Kentucky we might rename the university after them.)

My friend brought up an interesting point when we were discussing Georgia earlier. Have you ever seen Mark Richt and Helen Hunt in the same room or pictured together? I’m not sure what this has to do with anything, but I haven’t. Let’s get the side by side and check it out. Pretty similar bone structure, I must say.

 

Players:

 

 

Aaron Murray- Aaron plays quarterback for Georgia. He likes being under center because his center has a real nice “booty booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere.”

 

Bacarri Rambo- This is the best name in college football. If you ever enter a “best college football name” contest and you don’t choose Baccari Rambo, we probably couldn’t be friends. 

 

Airtight Predictions:

If you haven’t already, as soon as you finish reading this you will immediately YouTube “Bubba Sparxxx- Ms. New Booty.” I already have. Let me know what you do then “get it together and bring it back to me.” 

 

Summary:

We’ve won one game. If you are still going to football games there is a special place in Wildcat heaven for you.  To make matters worse, my friend Hunter (an Alabama fan) texted me yesterday to say “We play in Lexington next year!” For a moment I wondered if they had a return game with Western Kentucky that needed a bigger venue. Then I realized that we, the Kentucky Wildcats, were going to have to play Alabama in football. I got a sick feeling in my stomach. Will this hurt our football recruiting? Will players transfer out to avoid serious injury? Will our whole team be “taking the LSAT” that day?

 

Kentucky Football 2012: Oh no, we have to play Alabama next year.

 

 

@AFlenerKSR

Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

32 Comments for Know Your Enemy: The Georgia Bulldogs



  1. Topical Pseudonym
    7:39 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Hate to break it to you guys, but we don’t play Georgie until March 7, 2013…isn’t this a little early?



  2. WildcatBanks
    7:47 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    I always like this segment. we need more comparisons to famous people and players. it is so funny. please expand.



  3. Floyd
    8:02 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Call me crazy, but I really think we can get a moral victory out of this game.



  4. undeniable
    8:08 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    helen hunt … i mean really



  5. wccpro
    8:08 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    flener is doing a great job…the guy writes from all over the country… he brings his A game whether in KY or FL…. nice write up



  6. CGriffith
    8:16 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Aaron, stop being so goddamn negative. Shit. Tis all.



  7. Uncle Buck
    8:19 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    More football negativity from KSR? No way! Poor attempts at humor, Aaron. “Will players transfer out to avoid serious injury? Will our whole team be “taking the LSAT” that day?” Really? Douchebag.



  8. my name is joker
    8:23 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    #3 – You make jokes, but you know good and well if Georgia doesn’t cover points, there will be joker and mitch apologists coming out of the woodwork saying, “see, see, we told you – joker just needs time – injuries, freshmen, hungry, early games, late games, freshmen, injuries…”



  9. Rixter
    8:24 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    If I’m not mistaken, Michael Stipe, Peter Buck, Mike Mills, and Bill Berry all met while attending the University of Georgia.
    They had some small success as a rock band called R.E.M.



  10. Basketball Season
    8:29 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    6 & 7.

    Who cares if KSR makes jokes at footballs expense? If Joker or the team cared, they would put a better product on the field and not let sand get kicked in their face.

    Nothing matters in UK football till an announcement is made about Jokers exit. Nothing!



  11. 44 Stitches
    8:51 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    I agree Athens, Ga is an amazing place. Bubba Sparxxx moved to Athens after high school because his friend was going to UGA to play football. I’m going blank on the dudes name though. Him and Bubba played football at Troup H.S. which is the rival to LaGrange H.S. were (obviously) a lot of our former and current players have come from.



  12. Gavin S.
    9:10 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Calling UG the enemy kinda suggests the outcome of the game is in question. It’s a little insulting to Georgia.



  13. Thomas
    9:24 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    7. Where is there any positivity to report regarding the state of the football program?



  14. tdogg40330
    9:26 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    find ya best play maker and lets see them run the same offense they used vs UT
    last season. Add some Wildcat offense with Whitlow, what the hell is it gonna hurt??



  15. facts
    9:27 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    6 & 7 are douchebags and probably are on the football team. Quit bitching about KSR and start winning football games. FACT: almost everyone on campus would rather eat dirt than watch this team get its ass kicked AGAIN. Fire joker and in 2013, let’s RISE to the level of NOT being an absolute embarrassment.



  16. Rick
    9:30 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Booty, booty, booty, booty rockin’ everywhere.



  17. pioneer
    9:58 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Just got home from the Highlands vs Cincy Elder game and saw Patty Ice. Said he felt good, but the ankle is still a little sore. Hopes to be back next week….



  18. Kirby Smart/Tee Martin
    10:00 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    I hope the same thing happens in this game that happened in the South Carolina game. We lead for a half then get blown out by three touchdowns. That way, when Mitch starts talking to new coaches he can point at this game and SC and say “see the players aren’t worthless just the previous coach.”



  19. Matt in Franklin
    10:25 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    We’re in trouble…NWS is calling for partly cloudy tomorrow…no lighting I’d gonna save us…



  20. Matt in Franklin
    10:27 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    *is*



  21. Steve Erwin
    10:36 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Sorry but Munchie Legeaux is the best name in college football



  22. Judgenjury
    10:50 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Aaron,1 & 12…. Nice job! 6 & 7 are you serious? How could you be positive and informative at the same time about UK football at this point?



  23. Ace Ventura
    10:57 pm October 19, 2012 Permalink

    Richt… Hunt… Richt… Hunt… Hunt… Richt… Wait… I got it… Richt is Hunt… Hunt is Richt… Helen Hunt is a MAN!!!! Proceed to burning clothes!



  24. Beavis
    7:15 am October 20, 2012 Permalink

    Maybe mother nature will intervene and save Georgia from a beat down. LOL 30,000 maybe in the stands today. Should be plenty of tickets available,,,maybe even stretch out or lay down in the stands.



  25. Pistol Pete
    8:07 am October 20, 2012 Permalink

    Very funny, Aaron. I now have you right up there with Tyler and Drew. And I’d be excited about Joker “declaring” a national championship but that would require some innovative thinking and guts. Ain’t gonna happen.



  26. GottaGet9
    9:08 am October 20, 2012 Permalink

    Killed it – keep up the good work!



  27. lightening is not a word
    10:41 am October 20, 2012 Permalink

    learn how to spell – LIGHTENING is not a word… I think you were looking for lightning.



  28. Apathetic Blue
    11:02 am October 20, 2012 Permalink

    I say we get us a moral victory and go let the players eat about 4th quarter. Have you folks seen all the Georgia fans in Lexington? Wow! Georgia’s economy must be really good.



  29. Bigger Blue
    11:12 am October 20, 2012 Permalink

    Let implement the running clock like in high school. Gosh our games wouldn’t last 45 minutes.



  30. Bigger Blue
    11:13 am October 20, 2012 Permalink

    Geez #27 everyone loves the grammar police…….



  31. J A Brooks
    4:43 pm October 20, 2012 Permalink

    If I did the math right that means Richt’s average record is 9.5 wins and 3.5 losses per season.

    Yeah, we’d be the University of Mark Richt Mark Richts. Our uniforms would be Mark Richt Blue and Mark Richt White and we’d play at Mark Richt Wealth Stadium



  32. blueballer
    1:25 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Good stuff, Aaron. Keep it up!