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Know Your Enemy: South Carolina Gamecocks

Frank Martin, his scowl, and his South Carolina basketball team come to Rupp Arena to face the Cats tonight. I wouldn’t necessarily say the Cats are “rolling”, but they’ve won their last three games. South Carolina comes into this game after scoring 92 points in their last two games. Total. They are 2-6 in the conference and have yet to score more than 73 points in an SEC game. And that was in overtime. South Carolina is not good, but that hasn’t stopped them from playing well against the Cats before.

Lucky for us, Tre Kelley and Devan Downey are not walking through that door. Let’s find out who is. Let’s Know Your Enemy: South Carolina Gamecocks.



The University of South Carolina is located in Columbia, a city which is featured in 22 different states. This Columbia is in South Carolina, which makes a lot of sense. Columbia, SC is the largest city named “Columbia” in the nation. It’s nickname is “Paradise City.” I’ve never been there, but I assume the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Fairly standard for an SEC town, I’d say (not counting the small area of Nashville where Vanderbilt is located).


Notable Alumni (“People named Hootie” Division):



Hootie and the Blowfish- It is widely known that Darius Rucker is a South Carolina grad, but actually ALL the members of Hootie and the Blowfish are Gamecocks. The band broke up so Darius could go make money singing terrible country songs. But Hootie and the Blowfish and music went together like “lamb and tuna fish, or spaghetti and meatball.” If you didn’t like Hootie, I’d question your patriotism.



Hootie Johnson- Apparently there’s a little “Hootie” in the water down in South Carolina. This Hootie was a former chairman of Augusta National Golf Club, the home of The Masters. Johnson directed two significant overhauls of the golf course (also known as Tiger proofing) and allowed 18-hole network television coverage of “a tradition unlike any other”, therefore making him solely responsible for some of the most amazing naps ever taken.

Johnson is widely known for a disagreement beginning in 2002 with Martha Burk over admission of female members to Augusta National. This policy has now changed, but at the time Hootie said “Our membership is single gender just as many other organizations and clubs all across America. These would include junior Leagues, sororities, fraternities, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, and countless others. And we all have a moral and legal right to organize our clubs the way we wish.”


Dance Team Scouting Report:

If there’s one thing these girls can do, it’s dance. If there are two things, it’s dance and put their hand on their hip.


Basketball History:

South Carolina plays their home basketball games in the 18,000 seat Colonial Life Arena. Their basketball history is not very good, as they have been to just 8 NCAA tournaments and 3 Sweet 16’s. Though no one cared, they won back to back NIT titles in 2005 and 2006. So adorable, you guys.



If I have pee in me, I can’t look at pictures of Frank Martin. He scares it out of me. The man is pure terror.

Before arriving in Columbia to take the reigns of the Gamecocks, Martin was the head man at Kansas State for five years. He took the Wildcats to 4 NCAA tournaments which included one Elite 8.  He also coached one of the greatest beards in college basketball.



Bruce Ellington- A two sport star at South Carolina, Ellington has played in only 12 of 21 games due to his responsibilities with the Gamecock football team. He is averaging 10.3 points, 2.9 rebounds, and 2.2 assists per game. He is shooting 30% from three point range. If South Carolina’s guard history (Kelley & Downey) in Rupp Arena is any indication, he will score 45 points and make 10 threes tonight.

Michael Carrera- Before I wrote this, I didn’t know this guy was a person. Alas, he is a person. A person who plays basketball for South Carolina. And a person who looks like Rick Fox.  Carrera, a freshman, averages 10.2 points and 7 rebounds. Most importantly, he is a person. Now we all know that.



Kentucky, a 17.5 point favorite in this game, should win this game handily. SHOULD being the key word. If the last few games are any indication, the Cats will not make anything easy on themselves.

Despite that, I expect a reasonably close first half to turn into a double digit win by the final buzzer. 17.5 seems like a lot of points, but keep in mind this team lost to Georgia by 11. If you are heading to Rupp for the game, DO NOT look Frank Martin directly in the eyes. He will steal your soul. And might make you pee a little.



Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

23 Comments for Know Your Enemy: South Carolina Gamecocks

  1. JazzyJ
    8:38 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    I thought the game is tomorrow night? Just sayin…

  2. FreshPrince
    8:45 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Me too. Aaron must be hungover.

  3. scukfan
    8:46 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    I live 20 minutes from columbia and i promis the grass is not green here, its brown all summer if you can find grass and not just weeds and sand, and the city its self is nasty.

  4. butteredup
    8:53 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    what channel is it on tonight? i’d love to be able to watch it tonight and place bets tomorrow

  5. C'mon man
    8:53 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Flener the wiener

  6. norfolk n way pal
    8:54 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    5 minutes til game time and still I’m the only one here. Except I think I see Aaron over there.

  7. IchHeisseNeil
    8:56 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Their coach looks like Rattigan. Look it up.

  8. Jeremy
    9:03 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    I knew the game was tomorrow but Aaron still made me go to espn to make sure

  9. cconhhi
    9:07 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    There was so much blue in Columbia last year for the basketball game, they won’t even play us there this year.

  10. UK Freshmen
    9:08 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Gawd. The SEC is just awful.

  11. E-town
    9:10 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Dance Team is A-1.

  12. Catlanta31
    9:15 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    I realize the UK dance team is piss poor. Some salads and sit-ups!

  13. FlashOfBlue
    9:22 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Does anyone else think Frank Martin looks like Sam the Eagle from the Muppets?

  14. DidUKnow
    9:23 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    There’s a spot in downtown Columbia where you can stand and see one state. I’m not joking.

  15. fur eel
    9:36 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    As some have already noted, Columbia is swarmed by bbn whenever the Cats play down there. Ironically, Columbia is located in Lexington County.

  16. Larry linebeard
    9:47 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    “If I have pee in me I can’t look at pictures of Frank Martin”. No way Fleeners a dude

  17. Oddthomas
    10:08 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Scared the hell outta me with this “tonight” crap. Thanks, i wont sleep now

  18. KanStan
    10:18 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    Frank Martin left K State at the right time. He was facing a mutiny and up to 10 players had notified the AD they would leave the team if he was back the next year. Wonder if South Carolina made the same mistake we made with BCG?

  19. We Hang Banners
    10:39 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    I live in louisville….but no espnu…can i watch it on my xbox? Or will it be blacked out?

  20. mashburnfan1
    11:01 pm February 4, 2013 Permalink

    All you need to know is they suck.

  21. Troy
    12:09 am February 5, 2013 Permalink

    Wow, that’s a seriously hot dance team

  22. Aaron Flener
    12:48 am February 5, 2013 Permalink

    I apologize for the tonight stuff. I thought it was going to run Tuesday. Any heart attacks are to be blamed entirely on Drew.

  23. scukfan22
    2:27 am February 5, 2013 Permalink

    Columbia is in richland county, west columbia is in lexington county.