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Know Your Enemy: Robert Morris Morrises




First off, shout out to all the Kentucky fans who spent last weekend in Mrs. Tyler and I’s fair city . We may not have won the tournament, but we won every other aspect of the weekend.  It was great to get to know many of you and I hope you had a great time. I know I did.


When I found out our beloved Wildcats would face Robert Morris in the first round of the NIT, I knew the following things about Robert Morris:


Since then, I’ve learned a lot from our crack staff of reporters here at Kentucky Sports Radio. Robert Morris is a university (not a single person like I originally thought), they like to shoot three point field goals, their arena is small, and Chester thinks we are playing them because liberals wouldn’t let us into the big dance.


Regardless of the reasons we are headed to Pittsburgh, we are headed to Pittsburgh. Let’s get to Know Your Enemy: The Robert Morris Morrises.





I don’t know much about most cities I write about, so I do what anyone does when they need to learn about anything. I go to wikipedia. In fact, I went to wikipedia today to learn about a guy named Slim Whitman. While hanging out at Legends last weekend, the KSR crew and I noticed a picture of Slim on the wall and his phenomenal mustache made me curious about him. So I went to wikipedia where someone named “Tall” was referenced as reporting Slim Whitman brought aids to south Florida (the geographic area, not the University). Seems like an odd thing to bring to south Florida, I usually just bring a sand shovel and sunscreen. But to each his own, right? I digress.


I looked up “Pittsburgh” on wikipedia and found out this interesting fact. Pittsburgh dialect, commonly called Pittsburghese, is spoken by locals referred to as “Yinzers”, similar to “y’all” in the South. Common Pittsburghese terms are: slippy (slippery), redd up (clean up), and gum bands (rubber bands). The dialect is also known for dropping the verb “to be” out of phrases. For example, one would say “the car needs washed” instead of “needs to be washed.”.  Because saying “to be” is such a hassle.


Notable People With the First or Last Name Morris (real or fictional):

zack morris

Zack Morris- Preppy, as he was called by A.C. Slater, was a mainstay on my television set in the afternoons when I was growing up. The star of Saved By The Bell was the love interest of every girl I knew, but no one owned his heart like Kelly Kapowski. Also, look how far cell phones have come. Way to go, cell phones! Proud of you.


morris peterson

Morris Peterson- Mo Pete played in college for the Michigan State Spartans and helped lead them to the NCAA title in 2000. He was also named the Big 10 Player of the Year that season. He played with four teams in the NBA.


morris, jack

Jack Morris- Jack Morris is the owner of a great mustache and mullet. It appears he also played professional baseball for the Minnesota Twins.


morris, raheem

Raheem Morris- Raheem is the head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers national football league team. Well, at least he was when this picture was taken.


morris, old tom

Old Tom Morris- Old Tom, Young Tom’s dad, was the champion golfer of the year 4 times in the 19th century. That means he won the British Open, by the way.


morris cat

Morris the Cat with 9 Lives- You may know Morris the Cat with 9 Lives from 9 Lives cat food commercials. You may also very well not know Morris the Cat with 9 lives.


Honorable Mention:

chuck norris

Chuck Norris- Close enough.


Dance Team Scouting Report:

robert morris dace

I don’t know if this is the actual Robert Morris dance team, but this picture came up when I googled “Robert Morris dance team.” This picture is so ridiculous. So I’d like to invite you to meet my Robert Morris dance team, regardless if this is really them.


Basketball History:

As you know, they play in a small arena that you have already seen 22 pictures of since yesterday. Their basketball history is not terrible, actually.  Your current NEC regular season conference champions have only had a program for 34 years. They have been to seven NCAA tournaments since 1982 and even won a first round game against Georgia Southern in 1983. They have 7 conference tournament championships and 10 regular season league championships.





Andrew Toole- I’ll pass on the obvious joke, but this guy looks like J.P Blevins. Wait, what? That WAS the obvious joke?

Toole is in his 3rd year as coach of the Morrises. The 31 year old was an assistant at RMU from 2007 to 2010 before taking over the head position. Toole was a member of the Friars Senior Society at the University of Pennsylvania, which was initially formed in 1901 to protest cliques. Seems a little hypocritical, if you ask me.



RMU has 5 players that shoot over 34% from three point range. Three of those shoot over 42%. Might want to make them drive and meet Mr. Willie Cauley Stein. Or Nerlens couldn’t have gotten hurt AND WE WOULDN’T BE PLAYING IN THIS GAME. Sorry, had to get that saltiness out.


Last Meeting:

The 5th ranked Kentucky Wildcats won 92-67 on Dec. 30, 1993 in Rupp Arena. They were led by Peachtree City’s finest, Jeff Sheppard, with 18 points. Jared Prickett tossed in 17 points to go along with 6 rebounds and 3 assists. There is a 100% chance I was watching this game in Cave City, Kentucky at my Meemaw’s house. Shout out to the amount of Mountain Dew she always had in her fridge. We used to get hopped up like Walker and Texas Ranger Bobby.




Obviously this season hasn’t gone as planned. Even Ray Charles can see that. And he’s dead. But we still have Kentucky basketball to watch. And NIT Kentucky basketball is better that time in June when you are dying for some Kentucky basketball. I encourage everyone to tune in tonight. Join us on the live blog if you want. Join us even if you don’t want to. They aren’t the best Kentucky team, but they are still our Kentucky team.

Go Cats. Beat the Morrises.



Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

41 Comments for Know Your Enemy: Robert Morris Morrises

  1. TN Cat
    12:07 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    You don’t know who Jack Morris is and you watched reruns of Saved By the Bell instead of when it first aired on Saturday mornings. I’m getting old.

  2. Rand Paul's Head Squirrel
    12:07 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Those dance teams members are certainly not thigh deprived.

  3. NBA league pass
    12:11 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    If we get either Randall or Wiggins, next year’s team will be better (going into the season, on paper) than the 2012 championship team.

  4. blah blah blah
    12:17 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    “First off, shout out to all the Kentucky fans who spent last weekend in Mrs. Tyler and I’s fair city”

    Should be “my” not “I”

  5. Gandalf the Blue
    12:17 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    How are you gonna leave out Morris from Camp Nowhere?

  6. atlantacat
    12:20 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    “First off, shout out to all the Kentucky fans who spent last weekend in Mrs. Tyler and I’s fair city”…That would be my and Mrs. Tyler’s fair city. Surely you proof read, don’t you?

  7. rick
    12:21 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    I know this has probably already been talked about but if so i missed it, can someone tell me the last time the team that finished 2nd in the sec regular season didnt make the ncaa trnt. I know we neeed to stop talking about missing the trnt but had a friend said that this has never happened . Can anyone tell me.

  8. Yule of K
    12:22 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    No Randolph Morris??

  9. NotSatire
    12:24 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    You don’t remember the football coach Guy Morris?

  10. RodneyfromMcKee
    12:24 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Julius Randle dunks are a lot like James Lee’s back in the day

  11. Wall2Cousins
    12:27 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Hal Morris….former Reds 1st basemen

  12. Jen
    12:29 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Is this half-assed cutesy stuff amusing to anyone?

  13. jmfatz47
    12:30 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Randolph morris?

  14. Jen
    12:31 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    “I’s.” Good grief.

  15. RealCatsFan
    12:33 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    This might just be the biggest “circus” atmosphere that the Cats have played in all year. Even though there are only 3000 people in there, it can get just as loud as the Swamp, Bud Walton, or Thompson Boling, since they are all right on top of the action. Their team is going to be all jacked up, and not on Mountain Dew (although maybe Cal should think about giving some MD to some of our players). The officiating may play a major role in the outcome of this game. If they let RM get away with a lot of hacking and bumping, it could be a long night for our boys. I can’t believe I’m actually writing this! Our boys just need to get a chip on their shoulder and decide they are tired of being pushed around. We need them to channel their inner Jamal McGlore this game.

  16. RealCatsFan
    12:33 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Morris Day and the Nights…

  17. ThankfulCat
    12:35 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    That’s gotta be the Phillip Morris dance team

    Cough cough

  18. Morris Day
    12:39 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    or the Time

  19. bung
    12:40 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    we wont score 92 like last meeting…we average 57 our last 4 games…

  20. Mattcat68
    12:47 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    These teams have a common opponent in Arkansas but they also have another common opponent this year in LIU Brooklyn. Robert Morris won at LIU Brooklyn 60-57. UK beat LIU Brooklyn in Rupp 104-75.

  21. tom
    12:47 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    “I’s”? I’ve got to be kidding. A college aged kid saying “I’s”?

  22. RealCatsFan
    12:54 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    I was at the LIU game with my wife and kids. All seemed great back then – little did we know that this team would fail to launch the rest of the way. How ironic that LIU went on to make the dance and we did not!

  23. gale
    1:03 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    i am feeling less confident about this game as the day goes on

  24. KBF
    1:19 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Hello!!! Where’s Randolph Morris?

  25. PatGLex
    1:20 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    We also say “wash” so that it sounds like “wush.”

    (Why yes, I am originally from Western Pa. and know what and where Robert Morris is. And — completely irrelevantly — the selfsame Robert Morris University will be the host team for the NCAA Division 1 Men’s Ice Hockey Tournament in 3 weeks.)

    Still rooting for UK though.

  26. brian
    2:01 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    if Kentucky advances they will play Joseph A. Bank in round 2 of the Nit

  27. Jmmy Dykes Caddy
    2:18 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    #26, and if we beat Joseph A Bank we all get 3 free suits and 2 free shirts!

  28. Jmmy Dykes Caddy
    2:19 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    All KY blue of course!

  29. ibescootch
    2:25 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    #4, you need to use proper punctuation. Periods help.
    #6, no need for ellipses there, and if you do use them, put a space between each period and a space after the last one.
    #12/14, yes, Charlie Brown, it’s hilarious. You have a low to limited sense of humor. Also, use complete sentences.
    #21, again with the ellipses? Ellipses are always 3 periods- not 2, or 4, or 5. And add a space in between each and one after. . .

    You’re all welcome for the grammar/punctuation lesson, I’ll be in my office til around 3:30 if you have any more questions. And don’t bother proofreading my post- it’s far from perfect because this is a purposely ridiculous blog website, and content is king. No one wants to hear your grammar rants. See how annoying it was to read mine?

  30. GA Wildcat
    2:36 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    How about former UK player Randolph Morris (Tubby lost the fax)

  31. maconvolfan
    2:41 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Robert Morris brought AIDS to south Pennsylvania.

  32. Axe Cop
    2:42 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Bring back BTI!

  33. kentuckman
    2:50 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Mullet Cat says the Cats and BBN will return to NCAA Tour. with fire in their eyes cause we are pissed. And I always hated Morris the cat.

  34. Catlanta
    2:53 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    How dare you leave out Van Morrison!

  35. grammerisking
    2:54 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    #29, Y’all is the proper conjunctive for “you’re all/ you are all”. . .

  36. Jen
    2:58 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    29. Aaron or his mom, trying to explain away an error like “I’s” as part of the alleged humor of the post is as weak as the post itself. Also weak is saying I should use a complete sentence as I point out sadness of the illiterate, half-assed tripe that passes for the content that you think is “king” on this site. For that matter, though, I do know a dependent clause from an independent one. When you correct someone’s usage of an ellipsis, though, you look even more stupid–and this is on top of defending this post as “hilarous”–when you don’t follow the ellipsis with a period.

  37. Big Curt
    3:15 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    I’m sitting here trying to think of a silver lining to playing this game. How’s this:

    No Doug Shows officiating the game???? 🙂

  38. Aaron Flener
    4:24 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    Know My Enemy: Grammar (And Jen)

    Jen, I’m sorry to have so deeply offended you with my poor content and grammar. And just to show you there are no hard feelings, I’d like to say that I really liked your post today.

  39. blah blah blah
    4:24 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    I’s can’t believe they haven’t corrected this yet.

  40. WTF
    5:13 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink


    Hello, McFly!

  41. green river 46
    7:07 pm March 19, 2013 Permalink

    We Have Met the Enemy and He is Us