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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Know Your Enemy: Maryland Terrapins


Mosley, a KSR founding father, once had a feature entitled “Know Your Enemy” in order for UK fans to be fully informed about their next opponent. While Mosley has moved on to bigger and better things, our enemies continue to be part of our life.  I want to keep us prepared on a game-by-game basis.


“Tis best to weigh the enemy more mighty than he seems.” -Bill Shakespeare

“Crab cakes and football. That’s what Maryland does!”

What Maryland doesn’t do: Win recruiting battles against Kentucky.

Although the political season has come to an end (thankfully), Kentucky opens their 2012-2013 campaign on the hardwood Friday night at the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn, New York against the Maryland Terrapins (Turtles).

While there is not much recent history on the court between the two teams, I distinctly remember a recruiting battle that occurred not too long ago. As you know, Calipari got the best of Under Armor in that battle and secured the commitments of Aaron and Andrew Harrison.

I don’t have a considerable amount of hate for Maryland, but they are the opposition and thus the enemy. Whaddya say we get to know them?




The University of Maryland is a public research university located in College Park, Maryland. Maryland has an enrollment of more than 37,000 students, over 100 undergraduate majors and 120 graduate programs. Aaron and Andrew Harrison will neither add to that enrollment nor take part in any of those majors. They are going to Kentucky.

Their school colors are red, white, black, and gold. Maryland is what you get when Louisville and Vanderbilt have a baby. Also known as the worst thing ever.


Notable People Associated with Maryland on Wikipedia:

Jim Henson- Calipari’s last three recruiting classes and young readers of KSR probably wonder why this gentleman is surrounded by strange puppets. Those strange puppets are cast members of the project for which Jim Henson is most famous. Henson was the creator of “The Muppet Show”, which featured Kermit as host and a variety of other memorable characters. Miss Piggy, Gonzo the Great, and Fozzie Bear to name a few. If you ever get a chance to go back and watch the show, pass on that chance. If you can read this you are far too mature to watch a frog romantically pursue an ugly pig.



Scott Van Pelt- SVP is employed by the worldwide leader (in sports), ESPN. He hosts Sportscenter occasionally and has a daily talk radio show.  Van Pelt didn’t EXACTLY graduate from the Phillip Merrill College of Journalism at the University of Maryland, but I’d say he’s doing pretty well. He doesn’t have hair anymore, but some of you don’t either. Life goes on, right?


Cheerleader Scouting Report:

When I imagined Maryland’s cheerleaders, I spent more time doing it than I should’ve. And I did not picture this. Maryland’s cheerleaders are KSR approved. They have their own website and it is fantastic.  I’m sitting in the end zone at the game on Friday. I hope it’s their end zone.


Basketball History:

Gary Williams, one of the most prolific perspirers of our time, is who most people think of when they think of Maryland basketball.  He coached the Terrapins from 1989 to 2011. He led the program to two consecutive Final Fours in ’01 & ’02 while capturing the 2002 National Title. Williams led Maryland to eleven straight NCAA tourneys from 1994 to 2004. He retired in May 2011 due to dehydration.

Keith Booth, Joe Smith, Juan Dixon, Lonnie Baxter, Steve Francis, Chris Wilcox, and Greivis Vasquez have all worn the red, white, black and gold of Maryland. The good news is THEY WILL NOT BE WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR Friday night (unless they have tickets).




Cal’s a slick son of a gun ain’t he?


Mark Turgeon- A Larry Brown disciple, Turgeon played at the University of Kansas for Brown from 1984-1987 and then immediately became an assistant until 1992.  He got his first head coaching job at Jacksonville State in 1998 and soon moved on to Wichita State where he coached from 2000-2007. From instructing the Shockers, he moved onto Texas A & M for 4 years after Billy Gillispie beat Louisville in Rupp Arena and recently settled in at Maryland.



I watch a lot of college basketball. Like, a lot. If San Francisco is playing St. Mary’s on a Monday night, I’m watching it. Feast week is the best week. I take off work and put three TV’s in my living room for the first two days of the NCAA Tourney. I know a lot of college basketball players, but when I looked at Maryland’s roster, I knew one name. Dez Wells.  I’m sure they have good basketball players, but it’s early in the season and I don’t know who they are yet. 

As far as awesome names go, they have an assistant coach named Bino Ranson.


Last Meeting:


The last meeting for these two teams occurred in the 2002 NCAA Eastern Regionals. Maryland came in #4 in the nation led by All American seniors Juan Dixon and Lonnie Baxter. Kentucky Team Turmoil was led in the game by Tayshaun Prince, who had 17 points. Maryland won the game 78-68 behind the strength of placing four players in double figures.  The Terrapins would move on to the Final Four and win the National Championship. 


Lord willin’, come hell or high water, or any other old person weather saying you want to use, I’m headed to NYC Thursday morning.  The weather for Thursday is looking bleak, but I can’t wait to see the Big Blue Nation descend on the big apple and Jack Dempsey’s this weekend. I, of course, like the Cats to win this Friday, although it will be a very sloppy game. I don’t expect either team to play a clean game this early in the season and I forsee UK’s talent winning out.  The clearing of Dez Wells makes a big difference for Maryland, as he can score the ball very efficiently. You’ve got to think after only being cleared for two days that his game may be a bit rusty and it could take him some time to get into the flow of the game.

No matter the outcome, COLLEGE BASKETBALL IS FINALLY BACK. We can now stop talking about swing states and start talking about swing passes. If you are in Brooklyn I hope to see you at Jack Dempsey’s tonight. If you are anywhere else, I hope you are putting together a watch party for tomorrow night. It’s basketball time in the bluegrass, y’all!



Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

20 Comments for Know Your Enemy: Maryland Terrapins

  1. Go Cats
    2:03 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    They have thay 7′ tall Len dude who is very good. If we get in foul trouble, things would go downhill.

  2. Fence
    2:08 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Wow. You obviously didnt understand the Muppet Show. Brilliantly witty and groundbreaking entertainment.

  3. Logic
    2:12 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Go cats! Don’t forget to sign the BobbyP petition on

  4. Mack
    2:14 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Not one word about Stevie Francis refusing to shake the hand of Tubby after the CATS beat maryland in Lexington.

  5. CatFan4444
    2:14 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Is there a NYC, KSR gathering spot??? I’m here.

  6. Jimi
    2:18 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Wow, i checked out the cheerleader link this morning and before i knew it, 7 hours had passed.

  7. JVice
    2:23 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    2 – No, I think he got it right, except for one thing. Miss Piggy really did the pursuing. Kermit was very passive in the whole thing. I grew up with the Muppet Show. Didn’t like it then, don’t like it now. I did however like Kermit doing the news on Sesame Street.

  8. Carl
    2:26 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Forget the rest of it, show us more cheerleaders with bare mid-drifts :)…and how can you not like the Swedish chef and his witty repartee? You must be communist!!

  9. Bobby Petrino
    2:29 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    I’m not sure exactly what you all are seeing on this cheerleading website… perhaps you can guide me in the right direction but it appears that majority of these cheerleaders started at the top of the tree and hit every branch on the way down. Let’s just say they aren’t the quality that ride on the back of my hog.

  10. DerbyDemon
    2:30 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    FYI–The pig pursued the frog. Kermit wasn’t into pig p*ssy. Also, some of the older shows were some of the funniest I’ve ever seen. Statler and Waldorf–the two hecklers–are better than ANYTHING that passes for comedy on the tube today. And who could possibly forget the Swedish Chef, Dr. Bunson Honeydew and his assistant Beaker? Funny stuff then and now.

  11. Smiley Pete
    2:44 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    I stopped reading as soon as I read your statement on the Muppets because I knew at that point that your opinion was worthless and there would be nothing more worth reading…

  12. JackyBlue
    2:48 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Entertaining article, Aaron. Thanks!

  13. DT in DC
    2:50 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    As someone that works in DC and lives in Northern Virginia, we MUST win this game. Maryland fans suck and I don’t want to hear it from them if they beat us.

  14. Jack Dempsey's
    3:15 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    I am a very crappy bar. Tourist trap, if you will. Go elsewhere.

  15. ThatsAShame
    3:17 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    If someone cannot make it due to weather I would be happy to buy the tickets.

  16. RealCatsFan
    3:18 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    What DerbyDemon said – the Muppets were one of those shows that adults could enjoy alongside their kids, much like some of the better Pixar movies of recent years. As a father of two, this is INVALUABLE. The wit of the Muppets leaves anything that currently appears on Nickelodeon in the dust.

    What is the over / under on Harrow and Mays playing tomorrow night? That could be the key to the game.

  17. 44 Stitches
    3:39 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Williams retired due to dehydration. Hahaah nice!

  18. TAXman
    3:46 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Dempsey’s is in manhattan, not brooklyn. don’t confuse people.

  19. MDinMurray
    4:06 pm November 8, 2012 Permalink

    Married a girl from Baltimore. I could’ve told you about the cheerleaders!

  20. catsfrankfort
    12:06 pm November 9, 2012 Permalink

    Muppets rule. And #16, you cant have an over/under on a player playing a game. I like your views on the muppets, but you clearly dont understand how betting works.