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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Know Your Enemy: Duke Blue Devils

Mosley, a KSR founding father, once had a feature entitled “Know Your Enemy” in order for UK fans to be fully informed about their next opponent. While Mosley has moved on to bigger and better things, our enemies continue to be part of our life.  I want to keep us prepared on a game-by-game basis.


“Tis best to weigh the enemy more mighty than he seems.” -Bill Shakespeare


“Know Your Enemy” is 1-0 this basketball season, so let’s keep it going.

Know Your Enemy is coming to you today from Brooksville, Florida and the 2nd stage of PGA Qualifying school. I don’t know where we’re going to watch the game tomorrow night, but people at that place will know who we want to win.

Look, Duke is the worst (besides Louisville). I hate them. You hate them. We hate them.  They are single handedly responsible for the worst memory of my childhood if you don’t count the time in kindergarten I got in trouble for throwing rocks at cars and my Dad paddled me with one of those beach paddles. Both memories are bad. Both ended with me in tears. But Laettner’s shot wasn’t preceded by my Dad saying “this is gonna hurt me more than it’s gonna hurt you” like the spanking was.

We got a little redemption in 1998. Wayne Turner took ownership of Wojo and we came back from a big deficit. But 1992 will always hurt and Duke will always be an enemy. You need to know them.





Duke University is located in the top Carolina in the city of Durham. It is the 5th largest city in the state yet has the highest number of people I don’t like, narrowly edging out Chapel Hill.


Notable People Associated with Duke:

Jay Bilas- Some people are okay on twitter. Some people are good on twitter. Some people are great on twitter. One person is the best on twitter. His name is Jay Bilas. Despite being a former Dukie, Bilas is a great voice of reason. If you don’t follow him, that needs to change. If you aren’t on twitter, let me take a moment and welcome you to 2012.  


Matt Jones- The co-founder of Kentucky Sports Radio (a pretty popular UK sports blog) attended law school at Duke.  He has a daily radio show from 10:00-12:00 where he talks about topics ranging from Kentucky athletics to siamese twins. Regular callers range from an Indiana fan who is the self proclaimed “Truth” to a purple dinosaur.


Cheerleader Scouting Report:

They aren’t Maryland. But they aren’t Vandy, either.


Basketball History:


Very good. They’ve won half as many titles as we have. But I maintain 2010 shouldn’t count. They beat Butler.

They were national runner-up in 1978. Anyone know who won it that year?

Duke fans camp out for their biggest game of the year. Kentucky fans camp out for a practice.




Coach K is one of the best to ever do it on the sidelines. He is the all time winningest coach in NCAA division one history.  He has 4 National Titles, 11 Final Fours, and 2 gold medals. The only person involved with Duke who has more gold than him is Lance Thomas. 



Ryan Kelly- Kelly is a senior and one of those guys who seems like he has been playing for Duke since I still thought bunk beds were cool (2002-ish).

Seth Curry- I only mention Seth Curry here so I can mention his mom. One of my favorite parts of the NCAA tournament are the shots of Mrs. Curry in the stands at Duke games. She takes care of herself.  I wish there was another Curry son so that the tradition would continue.


Last Meeting:

Kentucky leads the all-time series against Duke 11-8. The last meeting between the two teams was in 2001 at the Jimmy V Classic in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Kentucky lost the game 95-92 in overtime. Rashaad Carruth led the Cats with 19 points and a lot of trash talking while wearing his Air Force ones. For Duke, Jason “Jay” Williams had 38 points and zero motorcycle safety courses.


I would encourage you to enjoy Tuesday night, win or lose. Of course we want to win, but a win or a loss will have no bearing on how good this team will be from January on. Just enjoy seeing two of the all time great college basketball programs on the court together. After beating Maryland, the possibility of us starting the season 0-2 is gone, so just enjoy it.

Ah, who am I kidding? Go crazy. Bite your nails. Yell at the TV. Jump up and down. You’re a Kentucky fan. That’s what we do.



Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

35 Comments for Know Your Enemy: Duke Blue Devils

  1. RichieFarmer'sMustache
    12:06 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    How can anyone mention the name, Ryan Kelly, on this site and not mention the words “poop tooth” What is this world coming to?

  2. Connor
    12:07 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    i hate duke, and poop tooth smells bad. like rotten cheese. He has eaten entirely too much skyline chili. The motorcycle joke was a step out of bounds.

  3. Connor
    12:07 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    mrs. curry i will be using the thought of you later today.

  4. GoCats2
    12:10 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    #1 beat me to it. Ryan Kelly goes by another name on this site, do not forget that.

  5. bhamilton
    12:13 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    “zero motorcycle safety courses.” WOW! harsh

  6. Chi-TownCat
    12:20 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Yes it is harsh but thats why its so funny!

  7. Rick Pitino
    12:39 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    I can’t believe Flener did a me and pulled out early on the Know your Enemy for Duke… one player? What, was there a shiny object in the room that distracted you? This new-blood KSR crew his long on one-liners and lean on research.

  8. Jon O
    12:40 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Ryan Kelly aka Poop Tooth

  9. ala poop tooth..
    12:49 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Just curious, but how did Ryan Kelly acquire the name, Poop Tooth?

  10. RealCatsFan
    12:50 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Where is the writeup for the rest of the Dookie basketball team? No mention of the Plumlee Aryan Nation World Domination Plot?

  11. Musehobo
    12:51 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Bilas is a genius. Everything you’ve ever thought about the NCAA, he puts into words every day. If you’re not following him, then you have no idea the scope of the NCAA’s corruption.

  12. They Call me Poop TOOTH!
    12:52 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

  13. RealCatsFan
    12:55 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

  14. Jay Williams
    12:56 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Motorcycle safety?! Hilarious

  15. RealCatsFan
    12:57 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Curry’s mom definitely has a fine set of DSL’s…

  16. HoldYourHorses
    12:59 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Settle down, people. He didn’t need to talk about every player here, save that for the starting lineups post. I guess he could’ve talked about the players who don’t start, but why so serious?

  17. ukfan
    1:00 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    I don’t feel that good about tonight, I just wish it was next years UK team playing Duke tonight, they lucked out.. if there is any year to get lucky and beat us it’s this year

  18. 44 Stitches
    1:03 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Who care’s that he didn’t mention a KSR legend by his nickname and used the the guys real name. Y’all complaining about it are probably people who still throw up the 100% completely played out 3 googles. This post was funny. The lines… topics ranging from Kentucky athletics to siamese twins, 2010 shouldn’t count because they beat Butler, the gold and Lance Thomas line, and zero motorcycle safety classes we’re all funny!

    Good post

  19. exiledfan
    1:05 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Winning or losing may have no bearing on March, but it has a lot to do with how my life will go here in North Carolina the next several months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  20. Will S
    1:05 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    If you think Currys mom is hot, check out his girlfriend, who happens to be on the UNC Dance Squad. SIZZLE!!

  21. ala poop tooth..
    1:08 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    @12 @13 Thanks for the update. From the looks of his current picture, he done went and had that thing polished up. Congratulations Mr. Poop Tooth.

  22. michael burks
    1:10 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    I want UK to win, like all UK fans do. If they do lose, at least UK doesn’t cheat like Duke.

    I’m not talking money or even the credit card bs. Duke players who flop every game. Watching the “Hating Duke” moments’ thread reminded of how bad Duke cheats.

    Like the Wojo video. He’s tring to dryhump Magloire, yet Billy Packer whines how Magloire is trying to serious injury Wojo. Give me a break. One of about 775 flops Duke has gotton away with since 1998.

  23. barn
    1:14 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    i wonder how many championships cal would have won if he had coached at dook as long as k has, with all the talent that’s went thru there.

  24. Blue Bayou
    1:20 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Hilarious. Good Post.

  25. RealCatsFan
    1:36 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    #21, they say you can’t polish a turd, but can you polish a poop tooth? 😀

  26. ChiddarCheddar
    1:40 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Vandy’s cheerleaders >>>>>> Duke’s cheerleaders. I challenge you to scan the crowd and fine one, just one attractive Duke fan. You can’t.

  27. Brent
    1:53 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Low blow with the motorcycle joke, it ended the poor guy’s career….

  28. Al's IndiCats
    1:59 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Did they just lead the Dook cheerleaders back from the corral after grazing? Where some guys would rate the women for….um a little extra action, I’m in awe that they haven’t rated them as the ones they’d least likely to be walking beside on a semi private street without a bag on their head.

  29. RealCatsFan
    2:06 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    They’re “smart” girls, Al – what did you expect? 😉

  30. What about me?
    2:20 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    No Tucker Max love?

  31. Mark
    2:27 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Ryan Kelly = Howard Wolowitz

  32. eastcoastcat
    2:51 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    Good thing there wasn’t a camera on me back in ’92 in my hometown Pikeville, KY. I was cryin like that one kid holdin his dad on the Duke sidelines!

    on a side note Mrs. Curry has got it goin’ on!!!

  33. Betty
    3:23 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    UK Women’s team plays Baylor at 6:00 p.m. tonight! Baylor has won 41 straight games. WE CAN BEAT THEM!!!! Cheer on the Women’s Team before the men play tonight!

  34. hank
    3:24 pm November 13, 2012 Permalink

    went too far with the remark about jason williams

  35. Mit M.
    8:58 pm November 15, 2012 Permalink

    Wow, what a bunch of sore losers in lexington Ky. I was surprised when I woke up the next morning and didn’t see any news reports of couches being burned on campus. Glad I saw this blog because now I know the average IQ of those who attend the University of Kentucky.