Skip to content

Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Kentucky Player Previews: Jared Carter

hgfhf

Awww Jared Carter…..what can you say about Jared Carter. The big man from Scott County is now entering his third year in the program and in some ways we know less about him than when he first arrived. I never truly understood why Kentucky recruited the big fella…..especially considering it had three 7 footers on the roster at the time. However two teams coming off national championship game appearances also wanted Jared, so Kentucky followed suit and offered the man from Georgetown. When he first arrived at Kentucky, there were glimpses of promise…..some low post offensive moves that made Shagari go “wow!” and an occasional blocked shot here or there. But then came the nagging injuries and the defensive mismatches….and well, the future for Jared is…..lets just say hazy.

As with all players, there are some positives and negatives about the Carter time at UK. On the negative side, we have the ultra-slow foot movement that causes severe defensive problems, a difficulty making and catching interior passes and a 0 point performance in the Blue-White game that still boggles my mind. However on the positive side, we have a guy who is 7 feet tall, can put the ball in the basket (at least in practice) and gives O Charleys all they can handle in business. Combine that with his “perpetual smelling of a fart” facial expressions and Jared seems like a good guy and someone you want to pull for.

No one has any idea what this season will bring Jared. Depending on who you ask Jared could do anything from start to not play for the year due to injury. And if people are honest with themselves, no result along that continuum would be surprising. There is no doubt that Kentucky could use contributions from Jared along its thin front line and the coaches who we have interviewed always talk glowingly about their hopes for Carter. But it is hard for me to get too hyped or excited about the possibility because I have been let down before. IF Jared can stay healthy and IF he can contribute at all off the bench this year, I will be satisfied. But I also remember that others have higher hopes. During the off season, The Sporting News’s Mike Decourcey told me that Carter “reminds me of a young Aaron Gray.” So hey, maybe Mike is right…..I know Billy Clyde certainly hopes so.

There are no Jared Carter videos on You Tube…..so more from Bruce Pearl:

Here are the Kentucky Sports Radio contributors’ takes on the big fella:

MOSLEY:

Jared Carter prediction for 2007-08? Jared will be tall for the remainder of the year and will continue to be master of the line dance. That’s really all that I’m comfortable forecasting for him at this point.

TURKEY HUNTER:

When you say the name Jared Carter, one instantly thinks of a famous soup filled with potatoes, steaming hot, and topped with Hickory Smoked bacon and shredded cheese. Available in a cup or a bow for $2.99/$3.99. No, I am not comparing Jared’s game to O’Charley’s loaded potato soup but rather am going all Miss Cleo on what the highlight of Jared’s Friday night will be.

Jared Carter, in my opinion, is the 7 foot version of Ferris Bueller’s buddy Cameron Frye in both appearance, physicality, and points per game. UK beat out UNC and Georgia Tech in their effort to recruit the Tommy John of collegiate shoulders and has since been footing the bill for more rehab than Sony BMG. This past summer, Carter took a load off Fannie, took a load for free, put the load on himself, and immediately re-injured his reconstructed shoulder. While I know susceptibility to injury is generally not something one can do much to change, Jared appears to be softer than the placebo group over at the Cialis lab.

Here is the kicker though- we really need Carter this year. Read that last sentence again. While Carter moves at the speed of the English Patient, his experience playing at this level, if little more than battling Randy in practice, makes him a more promising candidate in the immediate future than Big Black Member. Patterson is everything we want in the future of the low blocks but we can’t make it a one man show down there (insert own masturbation joke here). Carter needs to spell Patterson, contribute to both fouls and rebounds, and do something, anything, on his own offensively if we really want to make some racket this year. We don’t need him to be anything special- a simple bowl of Puffed Wheat to tide us over to lunch- but we need him to be healthy and on the court with some minutes.

Carter-I don’t want you even doing the shoulder lean without a trainer and two Dr.’s present, but, by god man, get healthy. If you stay healthy, there may be a creamy key lime pie in a graham cracker crust with whipped topping ($3.99) in it for you come end of the season!

INTERN:

Wow, what can you say about the big fella, Jared Carter? Seriously, what? Ummm…he showed flashes of man-child when he snatched a career high 4 rebounds against the College of Charleston last season, just two days after rescuing a sweet old lady’s kitty-cat from a tree. A burning tree. It was a pivotal moment in the career of Jared Carter, and he seemed poised to both alter games, and humanity. But just as Carter began to shoulder the low post load, said shoulder seperated, thus ending Carter’s run at the record books. Suddenly, the gentle giant, the BMOC, the colossus of clout, found himself back at square one. He drank. Heavily. Diet Rite, and lots of it. He ate. Alone. Yeast rolls, and lots of em. He was fretting a life as an out-of-place 7 footer averaging 6 and 6 on Barnstorming Tours until the age of 36. But Jared was resiliant. With a new head coach to impress, Carter knew he had to get to work if he ever wanted to see that court he so effortlessly dominated before the war. His feet mightn’t be the fastest, his hands the softest, nor his touch the deftest, but doggonit, he’s 7′ 2″, and…well, he’s 7′ 2

TOMLIN:

Let’s imagine, for a minute, that I am Jared Carter’s “Life Coach.” That I have been hired by parents Jeff and Kathy to help get their son motivated for the 2007-08 season. That they have agreed to my substantial fee for consultation, paid all expenses incurred during said motivation, and have agreed to cut me in for a portion of any post-college-career earnings.

After using a bulk of the portion of the “up-front” money to purchase a Playstation 3, which I find awesome, and spending my per diems on such extragavancies as caribou-meat tacos and baby dolphin medallions, I decide that it’s time to hunker down and actually give the Carters, who seem like very nice people, a full report on how to help Jared gain the confidence he needs to really break through this season.

First, I recommend an ongoing campaign of motivational posters surrounding his locker. These can be (but are not limited to) classics like “Hang in there!” and “You want it when?” Anything involving the lovable Ziggy is also recommended. These posters, I feel, will help Jared to reassess his place on the team and mentally repurpose him as ready to take Kentucky by storm.

I also suggest outfitting Jared with a Bill Laimbieer-esque protective face mask, painted with flames, as my research has largely suggested that players who wear protective face masks are almost instantly elevated to “bad boy” status, due to the psychological predilection of the fan to assume he is what we in the Life Coaching industry refer to as a “straight baller.”

I arrange a brunch meeting with former UK player Steve Masiello, who unarguably mastered the art of making himself visible around town to pump himself up as fans greeted him. Noted locations to focus upon are the food court of Fayette Mall, seminars and get-togethers for the accountant/law industry downtown, and Waffle Houses late at night. Knowing the fans care is important, and knowing he has the support will help him prepare for greatness.

I broker a deal with the confectionary artists of “Cookies by Design,” who agree to deliver one of their trademark “cookie bouquets” before each game. Said cookies, when applicable, may reflect the holiday season — but all other times should include only smiley face cookies. NO MACADAMIA NUTS.Should this rule be violated, and should Jared chip a tooth on one of said cookie toppings, he should say he received the dental damage during a fight, preferably at Redmon’s, so people will assume a.) he is a straight baller, and b.) he loves the musings of Jimmy Buffett (polls note that Buffett affiliation resonates with the mass population).

Finally, I sit down with Jared myself over a porterhouse steak at Malone’s (to be billed later) and explain that the fans are behind him. And that sure, he hasn’t hit the streak yet, but if he continues to play hard and do what he can for the team, that’s all we ask. Traditionally, many of Kentucky’s most beloved icons haven’t been the top scorers but those who are always giving it their all and know what it means to be a Wildcat. He can take his place. He just has to gather the confidence together. If he does, he can be a valued piece of this year’s squad. He seems reticent, intimidated at times, but if he can just puff out his chest and play his role, the ghosts of Rupp Arena will take care of the rest, as they have for many like him in the past.

Then I will ask him to cut me a check, and I will spend that money on a horse at Keeneland who has a name I find funny and/or dirty. And then I will watch young Jared Carter have the season of his UK career.

The services of Christopher Tomlin Life Coaching Incorporated can be procured by directly contacting this website. Cash only.

DUFRESNE:

Did You Know

…that Jared Carter is 7’2″, 250 pounds, was born in Georgetown, Kentucky and attended Scott County High School?

…that Jared is the Great Grand Nephew of Jimmy Carter and a second cousin to teen pop sensation Aaron Carter?

…that Tubby Smith turned his recruiting efforts to Carter and Shagari Alleyne after failing to secure a letter of intent from 144’6″ Rivals One Star Center “Cell Phone Tower” from Scranton Pennsylvania?

…that in order to maintain his metabolism and provide sufficient energy to his huge 7’2″ frame Carter has to eat an entire canned ham at halftime of games? Eats it just like an apple.

…that Jared Carter will dislocate his shoulder again upon being given the first high five from a fan celebrating his off season recovery?

…that despite what the Big Blue pundits say, the success of this season does not rely on the health and play of Jared Carter, but instead on the health and play of 6-3 sophmore walk on guard Matt Sherbenske? Somebody just needs to tell him…

…that Jared Carter still laughs with and gives autographs to any one who asks him “How’s the weather up there?”? Seriously, if you get the chance don’t be an a-hole and yes it does get old.

Article written by Matt Jones