Deadspin’s College ShameDay is back to showcase the three college football teams that embarrassed themselves over the weekend and headlining this week’s edition is, you guessed it, your University of Kentucky Wildcats. The website compared UK’s job requirements to the directions on a Lean Cuisine.
The Weekend in Shame
Vanderbilt 40, Kentucky 0: The requirements for keeping your job at Kentucky cannot be much more difficult than the directions on a frozen-dinner package, but they probably include “don’t get shut out at home for the first time in almost 20 years,” and that alone may explain why Joker Phillips now joins the list of Coaches Who Don’t Have A Job Even Though Frank Spaziani Still Does. Vanderbilt rolled up nearly 300 yards before halftime on the way to hitting 40 points in a conference game for the first time since 2005. It helped that the Commodores, who had only converted 11 third-down chances on the road this year, left Lexington with that total doubled after going 11 for 17.
Phillips is survived by an offense that ranks 121st in yards per passing attempt and points per game, a defense ranked 110th in touchdowns allowed and 123rd in opponent completion percentage, and three different players on the roster named Cody. He’ll have one last shot to avoid Kentucky’s first winless conference season since 2000 when the Wildcats head to Knoxville in two weeks to take on Derek Dooley’s volunteers, which is the football equivalent of a corpse kickboxing a slightly fresher corpse.
But let’s remember the good times under Joker–the 2010 win over a hyperirritated Steve Spurrier, last year’s victory over Tennesseewith a wide receiver at quarterback, and, of course, the time Morgan Newton sacked himself.
Everyone is laughing at us, if you hadn’t already noticed.