I despise this time of year. Most of the major holidays are over for the winter (discounting Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, and all the famous people’s birthdays because, let’s be honest, all the real holidays have presents and time off from work) and the snow is shortly becoming more of a nuisance than the fun it was back in November.
But my biggest annoyance this month comes from the people I refer to as “snow bunnies”. They are the people who get really excited right around the 1st of January to change their lives and start exercising. They are also the people that make finding a parking spot or a treadmill at the gym completely impossible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for people changing their lives. I just think they should create separate classes for them and then cancel them in February so I don’t have to fight for 8 inches of space during Pilates.
Whether you’re a regular gym-goer or not, we’ve all experienced these kind of people. Rather than calling them snow bunnies, in sports we call them bandwagon fans. They pile on right at this time of year when a team is having some success, pushing and shoving their way to the front of the wagon in order to be able to say that “their” team won. Never mind that their team knowledge extends about as long as BTI’s last relationship or that one loss sends them headed for the exits faster than Louisville football fans on gameday.
Success always comes at a price and for Kentucky fans this year the price is putting up with the fair-weathers. As much as I am enjoying the wins and accolades that this year’s team is receiving, there was something comforting about knowing that when someone stopped you in another state last year and commented on your Kentucky sweatshirt, you knew you were meeting a true brother in blue. This year, everyone is wearing blue and it’s nearly impossible to distinguish the true fan from those who don’t know the difference between Meeks and Macy.
To tell the real from the fake, I’ve devised a 10 question test. I say that any true Kentucky fan should be able to answer these questions perfectly.
1. Years of each of Kentucky’s 7 championships.
2. First and last names of each of UK’s last 8 coaches.
3. Name the 1996 starting lineup
4. True/False: Rupp’s Runts are a set of fruity snacks made by Willy Wonka himself.
5. The Twin Towers are:
a. A now-destroyed set of buildings in NYC
b. Bowie and Turpin
c. Robinson and Duncan
6. Where were you at the exact moment that you heard Pitino was taking the Louisville job?
7. Would you rather eat at O’Charley’s or Applebees? (There is only one right answer)
8. Would you rather go to a BCS bowl game or beat Louisville in basketball? (There is only one right answer)
9. Essay Question #1: Please explain the moment you knew that Gillispie was the wrong hire (5 words or less).
10. Essay Question #2: Who is poop tooth and how does this apply to your life (300 words or more).
So what do you guys say? Do we embrace such “fans” or rail against them and expose them for the true deviants they are?
Kate Martin is an accountant and Purdue University graduate currently living in Lafayette, Indiana. She joined Kentuckysportsradio.com in January of 2010 and can be reached at [email protected]