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Karma Police’s Thursday News and Views

For a minute there, Rick lost himself.

And for the second day in a row, we keep talking about it. Our server has given all it can to show the Karen Sypher Orange Crush picture. Matt has given all he can in keeping up the breaking news. So you’re dropped off at Unca Fake Gimel’s yet again. I have just the thing to make you fitter, happier, more productive: the News and Views!

* Rick nevar forgot 9/11 (link NSFW) in his public statement tonight. My guess was he was not trying to compare the attack of New York City directly to his current crisis. I believe he was trying to summon the same kind of support he received from the university officials, friends and loved ones after the terrorist attacks in NYC.

Support like that may not come so easily from his friends in the Catholic faith; a faith he shares and talked about openly. Pitino’s lawyer quickly spun the word “abortion” into “health insurance“, but I reason that was more to change the national headlines and less to appease Rick’s religious friends. The infidelity aspect may be less harder to overlook and to forgive without Joanne’s public (or a “sources close to the family state” semi-public) forgiveness. (Billy Reed says Joanne’s used to having Rick drag her around.)

* The next public statement I want to read is Tim Sypher’s. Matt called him the “real loser” out of all this mess. AP Columnist Tim Dahlberg thinks Pitino just has an awesome assistant: “Tim Sypher valued his job so much that he gave Pitino the keys to his condominium, then kept watch as the coach gave the same woman $3,000… […] According to Karen Sypher, Tim Sypher not only took her to get the abortion and coached her in what to say, but later married her, hence the same last name.”

I think that if Tim doesn’t stay happy and quiet, Coach Pitino and the Louisville Athletics Department is going to have some really dark days ahead. But I expect no surprises from Rick’s friend.

* Not yet commented on Pitino’s admission and press conference: Pat Forde.

* Guess who else has been having server problems today? Porcini’s, of course! Don’t know why we all interested in their stuffed tortellini all of the sudden.

And guess who made the reservation list tonight at the newly crowned hottest restaurant in Louisville? None other than our Matthew Jones (Esq.), who will share his experience with you a little later today.

* Larry Vaught, a forthright and proper journalist, went to Kentucky football practice today and tweeted some tidbits. Injuries are starting to accumulate for the Wildcats, as RB CoShik Williams has a sprained foot and TE T.C. Drake has pulled groin. T.C. will be out until next week. Coach Brooks has moved Walk-on Nick Melillo from WR to TE, as Brooks wants “to see how it works out.” Linebackers coach Chuck Smith told Vaught that Qua Huzzie and Ridge Wilson are picking up the system quicker than anticipated.

* Definite Article fans, take note: The Drew Franklin gets his postin’ on, starting at 2PM tomorrow. So long as he doesn’t leave a dong drawn with beer cups in your fence, you will come to adore him as much as we do.

* Jeremy Tyler has become the first American underclassman to leave high-school for a professional international contract worth $150,000 for one year. I don’t think this will start a great exodus of young talent towards NCAA teams. The decline of the American dollar may make international salaries look more tempting, but professional basketball budgets in Europe are still considerably smaller than those in the NBA. It will be interesting to watch in the next couple of years.

Go get your jammies on and brush your teeth. Maybe Cal will tweet about finding the mythical 7-foot point guard pandas so long sought. Its going to be a glorious day.

Article written by The Fake Gimel Martinez

I may be fake, but my passion for UK sports is real. Probably put all my best work at and, so go there when I start coasting here.