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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

It’s National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day!

By show of hands, how many of you knew it was National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day?  If your hand is in the air right now, I bet you are single.  It’s okay, though; we still love you.  And it really is National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day.  I’m serious.  Ask your cat.

In celebration of this obscure feline-talking holiday, I made up questions that our cats, the Kentucky Wildcats, might have for us.  Communication is limited between us and them, like real cats we see in parking lots and in the homes of crazy people, so let’s attempt to go inside their heads and answer the questions I believe have being weighing on their minds.

We’ll do one per player/coach, because it’s easier that way.

 

“Should I go pro?” – Nerlens Noel

You have a lot to gain from a sophomore season, but this draft class is weaker than Manti Te’o’s polygraph scores and you’re projected to go top three, if not first. Do what you gotta do.

Like the Swedish pop duo, Roxette would say, “Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do.  I don’t know where you’re going and I don’t know why, but listen to your heart, before you say goodbye.”

 

“What’s up with that Jerry Tipton guy?  Something wrong with him?”- Ryan Harrow

No, Ryan, Jerry is fine.  He’s just old school.  Give him really generic answers and be on your way.

 

“BURRRRR???” – Archie Goodwin

BURRRRRRR.

 

“What is “Beast Mode” and why does EVERYONE insist I enter it?” – Alex Poythress

Beast mode is like going HAM — Hard as a Mother(cough).  It’s the way many people believe you should be playing on every possession.  Someone in “beast mode” is unstoppable, like you could potentially be once you put it all together.

 

“Where can I buy sidewalk chalk in Lexington?” – Willie Cauley-Stein

You’ll find your basic colors at Wal-Mart or Target, but Hobby Lobby should have a better selection.  There’s one in Brannon Crossing in Nicholasville, if you don’t mind driving that far.

 

“Do you think I pump-fake too often?” – Julius Mays

Yes and no.  Sure, you pump-fake every single time you catch the ball, but we love you for it and it still seems to work.  Don’t change a thing, Uncle Julius.

 

“Why does Willie keep asking me if I’ll take him to Nicholasville next time I go home?” – Jarrod Polson

I bet he wants a ride to Hobby Lobby.

 

“Want to see my three-goggles again?” – Kyle Wiltjer

Of course we do.  Show us a couple times tonight against Alabama, please.

 

“Why do people insist on accelerating in the No Wake Zone?  Cut it off at the buoys and respect the laws of the lake!” -Jon Hood

It’s a common problem everywhere, Jon, not just at Eddy Creek and Cozy Cove.  Some people just don’t get it.  There are two rules everyone should follow at the lake: Respect the water and don’t bump boats.

Oh, and one more:  Don’t go-a dockin’ when the Daughtry album rockin’!

 

“Can I have extra sprinkles and Oreo crumbles with my nightcap?” – Twany Beckham

Absolutely, Twany-Twin-Twin.  Eat up.  Remember to take a good picture for Instagram before you dig in.

 

“When I get in late in games, why do my teammates look at me like they want the ball?” – Sam Malone

They’re just wanting to touch the rock, too.  But you keep doing you.  Lower that head and take it to the rack.  Send it in, big fella!

 

“Will you please quit asking if I appreciate stuff????!!!!” – Brian Long

Ugh, okay.  It was a radio caller who started it.  Don’t be mad at us.

 

“Should I leave Kentucky after this season?” – Orlando Antigua

Of course you should!  You should certainly leave, if you don’t like going 40-0, winning a second National Championship, and you want to break the hearts of the millions of people in Big Blue Nation who love you and appreciate the great work you do on the recruiting trail.  Go for it!

 

“Why did I go to Louisville?” – Kenny Payne

We’ve all made mistakes, Coach.  Yours is just a little bigger than others.  We’ve all forgiven you, though.

 

“I think I used too much bleach in my hair.  Do you think anyone notices?” – John Robic

Nope.  Not at all.  I don’t even know what you’re talking about.  Bleached hair?  What hair?

 

“Who took the fifth-most shots last season?” – John Calipari

Anthony Davis did, Cal.  You know that.  We all know that.

“Who took the fourth-mo…”

Michael Kidd-Gilchrist.

“Do I like…”

Yes.  You like your team.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

22 Comments for It’s National Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day!



  1. leedee
    1:33 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Now, that there, is some funny stuff. I’m 72 years old and even I laughed out loud at some of the lines, especially the last three questions. Cal can really wear out some of his material, but he sure can recruit. I call that off-setting penalties.



  2. AJH
    1:33 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Haha Good stuff Drew!



  3. Chris Farley Interviewing Cal
    1:37 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Do you remember that one time you won the national championship? …umm, that was really cool…



  4. Ryan Harrow's Flu Bug
    1:39 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Dang good post here Drew! KSR needs more of this and less of the bachelor!!!!!!!!



  5. bluegrassrebel
    1:46 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Ditto 4!



  6. Bojangles
    1:53 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    This was really funny…



  7. Linda Taylor
    2:02 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Was that a subtle hint that the infamous “old school” is none other than the infamous JT or that they are just two peas in a pod that belong together?



  8. catloyalty
    2:04 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    the best post in year



  9. catloyalty
    2:05 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    years



  10. RealCatsFan
    2:09 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    All my cat ever asks me is “where’s the food?”



  11. Jboygolf
    2:10 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    This is the first post in a while that made me laugh out loud. Great stuff on here regularly, but this was straight up HAM.



  12. holler baller
    2:16 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Me to my wife at Rupp. Are those people asleep.

    Answer. Of course they are



  13. bluristhurr
    2:30 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    The bachelor stuff is pretty lame and the only reason I know it’s still around the past two years is because of this site. It has nothing to do with being ridiculous it’s just plain stupidity. BTW is Aaron a boy or a girl? And do they actually write about sports?
    For the haters thats hating the haters the site does clearly read University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible. Take that stuff to the college side



  14. hey
    3:21 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    quit deleting my comments drew and quit pretending you still go to college.



  15. Dave
    4:08 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    the writing on here continues to suck..



  16. Puzzled
    4:29 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Dave, and yet you continue to visit the site and spew your jealous little bottom off. Be done, go away.



  17. Craig G
    4:31 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Don’t know when Drew ever pretended he was still in college. Reaching today aren’t you trolls?



  18. Lakesidecatsfan
    4:54 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Funny stuff Drew. Looks like you gave NF’s! Hood is a Lake Barkley guy, buzzard rock and eddy creek. Both on Barkley, but we don’t give NF’s!



  19. HeshimuEvans'2ndGradeTeacher
    5:35 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    What, Todd Lanter didn’t ask a question?



  20. jobob
    7:19 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    I have been showing Alex “Beast Mode” in practice, I wonder if fans want to see it if I get any “mop up” time? -Todd Lanter

    Of course you can Todd. Just try to sit next coach call in the games and tell him that you are ready every time he yells at Alex for being lax…



  21. jobob
    7:19 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    Coach Cal



  22. Dave
    7:25 pm January 22, 2013 Permalink

    hey puzzle head I come here looking for information on todays game and it’s like somone has to post something every 10 min. and it usually does suck probally like you do..