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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Its Bracket Buster Blog Time

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Its that time of year again! Its time to Bust the Brackets and Blog the night away. We will be here all day doing our thing and letting you folks know what is going on during this great basketball Saturday. In the house tonight are Mosley, Tomlin, the Turkey Hunter and myself ready to bring you the action….so stay tuned and get ready to get your college basketball fix with the guys from Kentucky Sports Radio.

5:48 PM Meet Butler coach Brad Stevens. He’s 12 years old, a seventh grader at Thomas Jefferson Middle School, and he loves playing video games, skateboarding and chilling out with friends. Linkin Park rules!

5:45 PM Holy Crap! McNeese State is all up in Central Arkansas’ grill right now with two minutes left to go! What are you guys doing reading this?

5:42 PM The “countdown clock” to Memphis Vs. Tennessee is getting a little ridiculous. However, if you aren’t planning on watching the game, and have something fun or exciting to do at nine o’clock tonight, you should tune in and pretend it’s counting down to that.

5:39 PM Coach K, Coach J. What is the media buy for this spot? It’s EVERYWHERE. All I know is that I’m beginning to think that I’d rather go to Coach J’s camp. I may not become a great basketball player, but at least Coach J. isn’t going to teach me to be an a**hole.

5:35 PM Some serious shooting going on from these Butler and Drake teams. Kudos. Butler is becoming a real deal — building a solid reputation, cementing themselves into the fabric like Gonzaga did?

5:32 PM 23-19, Drake leads Butler. Too early to confirm whether a busting is in progress.

5:17 PM: Did we mention that Hinkle Fieldhouse is the court from Hoosiers? Did we need to? It’s only been mentioned ten thousand million times.

5:11 I think Creighton won, so it’s on to Butler-Drake. Servants versus Ducks. Who to win? Well, Butler is ranked higher, but at KSR, “We love the Drake!”.

5:09 We’re debating, as Kentucky fans, which team we should be rooting for in this Creighton-ORU game? I think the best outcome is for both teams to lose.

5:00 Under a minute and Creighton and Oral Roberts are tied up 62-62. Scott Sutton’s gonna need a drink after this one. Wonder if he knows anybody that has a well-stocked wet bar?

4:57 Creighton and Drake both have kids named “Korver”. Matt just asked, “When will the Missouri Valley Conference be Korver-free?”.

4:51 We’ve seen this DirecTv/Misery/Kathy Bates commercial at least a dozen times now and it continues to creep me out.

4:49 The Turkey Hunter just asked if Oral Roberts University was affiliated with a preacher. We answered “Yes”, to which he responded, “Who?”. Tomlin said, “Pat Robertson”.

4:47 I finally placed the voice that we’re hearing here during the Creighton-Oral Roberts game: The color commentator seems to be Garry Marshall from Laverne and Shirley and League of Their Own fame.

4:46 Utah State beat UC-Santa Barbara. Thank God.

4:38 PM: Mosley made a great point….Creighton are the Blue Jays….is their any less scary mascot than a Blue Jay?

4:30 PM: Well that certainly was a disaster….we lost the game for everything except the last 30 seconds. CBS must feel our wrath. At least we got to hear Bill Raftery say “man to man” for a minute. Either way big, big win…thats why we love Ramel. Now onto Creighton vs Oral Roberts….

4:05 PM: In Louisville they just switched us to Duke-St Johns with 45 seconds left in the game……Un-freakin-believable

4:00 pm: “To March or not to March….That is the Question”….I hate you Tim Brando

3:57 PM We NEVER GET BACK after a made basket

3:52 PM At times, our offense at the end of games resembles an Italian soccer game….run into a crowd of people, throw yourself into them and hope someone calls a foul. Ramel Bradley = Christiano Ronaldo

3:49 PM: Billy Gillispie is the best coach in America at walking out on the court when his player is on the ground and kneeling next to him. If that were a factor in Coach of the Year, he would be a Finalist.

3:46 PM: Ramel Bradley finds more ways to be involved in contact that anyone that I have seen in my day….

3:43 PM: I am not sure what it says about this group that the name uttered most often today is Brian McKnight. Most of this game has been spent trying to make jokes about Stephen Hill….the best comes from the Turkey Hunter who sings every time he gets the ball “I Game my Love a Cherry that had no stone…” If you get that, kudos.

3:40 PM Tim Brando says this is more of a “Rock and Roll” basketball game. Seriously is he 1,000 years old? Derrick Jasper be draining threes like he was Derrick Miller out there….

3:38 PM Alright its time for Joe C to take over….quickly

3:27 PM This game makes me want to cry

3:20 PM The Cats are not looking strong here right now…..but thankfully Steve Kroft is on the case of the missing bees for 60 Minutes. Mosley and I were making fun o the missing bees story when the one lady in the room scolded us saying that it was a big deal that bees could be gone….I say let em go…they havent done anything but sting me for many a year.

3:15 PM: Ramel is shooting like a young Mark Coury in the last couple of games….I am not pleased

3:11 PM Sonny Weems starts out the second half with a three….Sonny Weems sounds like the name of a sheriff in a small town in Georgia

3:03 PM I am not sure what this says or the greater meaning, but at this point, both Tomlin and the Turkey Hunter are asleep, even though the Cats are playing. These guys stayed awake during VCU-Akron, and now they are asleep during the UK-Arkansas game. Yes we were all out until 4 am last night, but there is no excuse for this…

2:55 PM That timeout sure produced a great shot at the end of the half. In all seriousness though, good half defensively for the Cats.

2:52 PM Stephen Hill truly looks like he could be an extra in Will Ferrell’s new movie right now

2:50 PM: Perry Stevenson is now Kyle Macy from the free throw line….simply cant miss. Is Tim Brando contractually obliged to call Kentucky “The Big Blue”?

2:43 PM: Tim Brando just said “Mr. President tear down that wall!”…..another timely reference from our announcers. If he says something made him cry like when the Challenger blew up, I might lose it….

2:39 PM Nice effort so far from Perry Stevenson….2nd foul on Joe C, thats no good. We lose most of our scoring and facial expressions of resignation.

2:35 PM: Mosley has decreed that he will trust no man whose first two letters of his last name are G-M

2:31 PM: You know the offense is struggling when you are pulling for fouls on three pointers. UK’s offense looks dreadful right now and has a “Becker” at the end of its run kind of quality to it.

2:28 PM: It was under on the Stewart 2 minute bet. Michael Porter in for Bradley….Smooth must have REALLY messed up. Porter played 1 possession and got a jump ball….the genius of Billy Clyde

2:24 PM: You HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! On the “rivals” commercial for Sheraton, they show Ohio St-Michigan/Duke-UNC/USC-UCLA and then Louisville with Memphis???? Who writes this stuff? Why not just put Oklahoma with SMU?

2:22 PM Patrick Patterson just stuck right in Mike Gminski’s “I played for that Duke team that lost to Kentucky in 1978” grill when he hit the free throw jumper. We have an AJ Stewart sighting! Over/Under 2 minutes he is in…

2:19 PM: Assistant Coach Cox looks like an 18th Century Friar with his “haircut” at this point. Sometimes you just gotta let it go Jeremy. Mark Coury has taken his place on the bench and has already put his warmup back on suggesting he thinks he will be there for a while.

2:14 PM: I think I have officially soured on the “Mark Coury starts the game” phenomenon. Steven Hill looks like the Wilson brother in “Royal Tannebaums” that plays tennis.

2:12 PM: As we watch Mark Coury drop rebound after rebound, the thought turns to a peanut butter challenge. Can a person eat 40 ounces of peanut butter in an hour? 7,000 calories in one setting of nothing but peanut butter. Who is up for it?

2:11 pm: Tim Brando said the UK-Arkansas game would be “Bubblicious”…way to use an 80s slogans to reach out to the kids….expect a “Wheres the Beef” comment about Perry Stevenson or when they plug in Bill Keightly to start the game, a Mike Gminski “G.E. We Bring Good Things to Life” line.

2:04 PM: The announcer just said that up next are “two scoops of hoop.” People have been shot for much less than that. The other national game is Army vs Navy….who is watching that game? Is Don Devoe still involved with Navy basketball….or maybe it was Army?

1:58 PM: So we have made an executive decision to move from George Mason-Ohio to the Kentucky game at 2 pm….some may say that is controversial, but that is our choice. Right now the game channel has on skiing races….maybe next year we will go with the Downhill Sking Buster Blog

1:45 PM Back from lunch….George Mason beating Ohio 30-13….guess we didnt miss too much. I like the panache of Ohio U by the way….private school just takes the name of the state and says “deal with it.” I am opening up Kentucky University next year and asking folks to try and fight it….

12:57 So at the end of the Akron-VCU, VCU comes out the victor…or maybe it was Akron. Either way, a good time was had by all as we kicked off Bracket Buster Saturday in royal fashion. We are going to take a bit of a lunch break to fuel ourselves for the rest of the day, but will return shortly with more terrible writing.

12:50 I haven’t really been paying attention, but it looks as if Akron is making a bit of a run. To celebrate, the Akron Kangaroo/Zip is celebrating by jumping up and down. How low budget is your mascot if, when jumping up and down, he has to keep his padded hand on his nose just to keep his fake head on? We like to think that the Zip has a little bit of a hangover migraine from trying to pick up some pouch at the kangaroo bar last night and is trying to deflect the bright lights out of his eyes.

12:48 Akron has one fan in the student section whose weight is equaled only by his exhuberance. I’m starting to think the camera adds ten pounds…and a birth defect.

12:45 We just saw the Coach K State Farm Insurance Commercial for the 13th time already. I can think of several camps I’d rather attend than a Coach K basketball camp, namely, Auschwitz.

12:43 Kudos to the announcers for their level of enthusiasm throughout this game despite the fact that it’s VCU-Akron. We’ve also just noticed that the color commentator has gigantic hands.

12:38 The Turkey Hunter has just revealed he watched the movie “27 Dresses”. More on this story as it develops.

12:26 PM Akron has what appears to be a German scientist advising the team from the bench. And why such a poor showing there in Akron today? I mean, it’s Akron. On Saturday. At noon. There can’t be much better to do than watch brackets busted. 44-39, VCU leads.

12:19 PM VCU leads 36-32, in a game for the ages. Continually confusing is the conflicting portrayals of kangaroos by the Akron Athletics Promotion Department — alternately threatening and ominous and happy, dancing, wearing a hat. I don’t know what to think, and do not have enough information on kangaroos at hand to make an informed decision on the subject.

12:08 PM There just aren’t a lot of Jeremiahs anymore. Why is that? And why is it that I’ve seen more headbands on Zips fans than players? I’d like to have been at that tailgate: “So here’s what we’re going to do. Headbands and fake wrestling tag team title belts. Everyone got it? We’re so going to be on ESPN. Carl, don’t even think of screwing this one up for us like you did last bracket buster Saturday.”

12:02 PM This game is so tight it makes me wish I cared at all about either of these teams. In some alternate reality where I’m a VCU fan, I’m on the edge of my seat. Doesn’t seem to be a massive turnout, either, which is surprising concerning the possibility seeing a bracket busted in Akron.

11:55 AM: Heretofore in the day, no brackets have succumbed to bustings, though somewhere in America Kelvin Sampson is walking into a Best Buy to buy a 1080p flat-screen Samsung today. No haggling. Tom Brennan mentions that as a youth, the only things that mattered were “having a job that ain’t work and taking pretty girls to sporting events.” Funny, no mention of his fleeting superstardom as the tenor in a barbershop quartet.

11:53 AM: The halftime guys continue to talk about the “mid-majors” that are playing today….they count every team nowadays as a mid-major. Who counts as a low major nowadays….when OVC teams are mid-major, then the only low major teams must be Transy and Defiance.

11:45 AM: First sight of the Akron cheerleaders….D+ at best….One girl seemed to be chanting “Lets Go Cake!”

11:41 AM: Two of our girlfriends just walked in and before they left, they had an argument as to where one of the girl’s panties were…..a conversation that I have never had with any of my friends. By the way, it was settled that they were in the other girl’s purse.

11:37 PM: With three minutes left in the first half, Tomlin just asked who was playing in this game….its Bracket Buster Saturday!!!!

11:31 AM: The conversation has turned from the game to Celebrity All Star games of the past, including the Rock and Jock days. We are trying to come up with who are the Hall of Fame types of the Celebrity sporting game world. Dan Cortese, Justin Timberlake, Roger McDowell make the list so far. Who would you add?

11:27 AM: At the line for VCU is Chris McKnight who while at the line asked us all, “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind…..Anytime?

11:23 AM: Kige Ramsey likes to read….dont believe me? Watch this video. The Turkey Hunter believes that each of these statements about the books should be on the back as promotional blurbs:

11:11 AM The point guard for Akron is wearing black socks up to his knees and is the palest white guy outside of Mark Coury in America…..please let the Flurry come out with those today in honor of Coaches vs Chlamydia.

11:01 AM We begin today with the game that everyone is excited about, VCU vs Akron. As you know, Akron’s team is known as the Zips, yet they have a kangaroo as a mascot. Mosley notes that this is a common theme of these mid-majors….teams with odd names and a mascot with no connection to the actual nickname. Our announcers are top of the line….Bob Wischusen and Bob Wenzel….following the JP decision to only have guys named Dave, we are going only with Bobs. Wischusen lets us know that folks on the West Coast are “rubbing things out of their eyes.” Thanks for going blue early Wischusen……

Article written by Matt Jones