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Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Its Awards Time!!!!!!

So the non-conference season is over. No more games against rivals in state that we hate, teams with multiple directions in their name and coaches who have seen better days (Is that you Bobby Cremins?). Yes, the prelude has been played and it is time to hit the conference schedule running. But before then, we should reflect…..ponder….some would even say reminisce over the non-conference schedule. And in order to do that, we must give out our KENTUCKY SPORTS RADIO First Half Awards!!!!! Because the ceremony was handled privately (hosted by Tara Conner and OH Napier), all we can do here is reprint the award winners. The awards were compiled and created by myself and Chris Tomlin. So here we go:

Most Valuable PlayerRandolph Morris

During his first two seasons in Lexington (ok 1 season, a misplaced fax and then a half season), Morris engendered all the love of a Rhodrick Rhodes impersonator on one of Rick Pitino’s “recruiting visits” to visit his wife in New York City. He perpetually looked to be bored, seemed to hustle only part of the time and did not score with any real consistency. So what did he do this season? Well he still looks bored…..occasionally doesnt hustle, but man does he score!!!! Morris has become one of the most efficient big men in America, racking up double-doubles and showcasing the tools that made him such a top-ranked talent out of high school. He has been the key to UK’s season and it wont be long before UK will have no reason to keep the special fax machine in the office any longer.

Least Valuable AnnouncerRob Bromley

In winning an award that may one day bear his name, Rob Bromley set the standard for ineptness this year as he was given the task of being the “official eavesdropper” on Kentucky huddles during the always wonderous UKTV telecasts. After the game would come back from commercial break, Dave Baker and Martin “Let me tellya somethin” Newton would kick it to Bromley who would then say that UK would run a certain play out of the inbound. Immediately, Hobbs would nudge Tubby, call the opposite play and the coaches would laugh heartily as Bromley stared vacantly into space. Bromley did so well that he was allowed on the sideline before Boise St’s 4th and 18 yard play at the end of the Fourth Quarter at the Fiesta Bowl. He reported back to the booth that the Broncos were going to run the triple option, at which point Barry Switzer then tripped Bromley and proceeded to take his lunch money.

Best re-appearance by a Former UK playerKenny Walker

This was the year that the web decided to bring in former UK players to join the internet community. This here site was first, adding the services of Ravi Moss, who proceeded to give great commentary, distribute good radio insight and then take all of our girlfriends. The Cats Pause added Kyle Macy, thus assuring that it would be the best free throw shooting website on the net. And Kentucky Sports Report added Kenny Walker. Aww yes, Kenny Walker. “Sky” had sort of stepped out of the public spotlight…..and then we found these pictures on the net……

Yes Kenny we are glad to have you back…..the male model we all knew you could be.

Best newcomerJodie Meeks

Many in the Kentucky basketball community did not think it possible that this Freshman class could be worthy of holding up the Kentucky tradition. Because random fat men who never played basketball (otherwise known as the “Recruiting evaluators”) did not rank them highly, many fans believed that it was impossible for much good to come from the young group of no-names. But they have been wrong. Perry Stevenson showed early spark, jumping and blocking every shot attempted in the first two games. Michael Porter hit early threes and showed to be a calming presence for the group. Derrick Jasper became the first to start and showed that he is the point guard of the future. But the best performance has to be my man Jodie Meeks. Meeks stepped up in his first UK-UL game, scoring 20 and illustrating to the Cards how a basketball is supposed to go IN the basket. He became a crunch time player, playing at the end of games and getting a key three point play to seal a victory versus Houston. The Meeks has inherited the earth and is set to score buckets of points over the next few years.

Best Picture —- Smooth Bradley

Tell me this picture isnt great:

Best Comedy (Foreign)Lukask Obrzut

Tell me you dont love Woo. I mean there is no one better…..and this year Woo has earned his place in UK lore forever. Woo “The Card Killa” became a hero for life with yet another great performance against Louisville, helping get a third straight win over the enemy. Plus Woo has given us nothing but comedy gold with his “I am silent but deadly” and “I love the crowd’s energy…..I eat it” quotes. When Woo leaves a part of me dies…..and only a goofy seven foot British kid can possibly replace it

Best Faking of an Injury in order to avoid Fan’s IreJared Carter

You just saw this separated shoulder coming, didnt you? Carter, who many fans still have high hopes for thanks to his Kentucky ancestory and his turn around hook, was just about to start getting actual playing time…..the worst thing that can happen to a great white hope. We fans love what we havent seen….and we havent seen Carter. Jared knew that…..he is sneaky like that. So after giving a taste, and seeing that negativity could come his way, he got hurt……so as to plan for the future. I like it Jared…..you are wise for your young age…..keep up the good work.

Best Big Blue Network Announcing LineDave Baker

You know, there is nothing quite like the Big Blue Network. Its game telecasts are somewhere between the NFL Network football games and a Katman music video in terms of quality and the announcers are always full of absurd comments. When not mixing metaphors at a confounding rate, the announcers still find time to say lines that leave you scratching your head. But the best was that of Dave Baker during the game versus Lindsey Wilson when he said the immortal line “How do you say Microwave in Australian?” How indeed Dave…..

Least Likely to be Part of the UK program Next YearTie Sheray Thomas, Bobby Perry, Woo and Reggie Hanson

🙂

Best ComebackKentucky Team GPA

This may seem like an odd award, but no one can say that the departure of Shagari Alleyne did not have some positive effect. Now the University of Kentucky basketball team, which for too long had been carried by the “Future” Bobby Perry, has a GPA it can be proud of and one that can compete with the “Ivys of the SEC”.

Names that I hear in my sleep AwardPatrick Patterson and Jai Lucas

The day these two young men make a decision will be a day of celebration around the Kentucky Sports Radio compound. I like both of these kids, but this recruitment has gone on longer than a Joe Crawford drive to the basket, had less movement than a Bill Keightley dance party and has been (recently) less interesting than an Alan Cutler talk show. Please decide soon…..for my sanity

I Came All the Way from Alaska for This? AwardRamon Harris

Just like the great white north from which he came, Ramon Harris has been mysterious to UK fans since his name was first uttered on this blog. Few have seen his game, few know what to expect and even fewer may even know he is on the team. But Harris is here, sans his dog sled, and is ready to make an impact. Yet he has only played in two games, both times for a minute or less. Ramon must wonder if the minutes will increase this year……but Kentuckians wonder, “is adjusting to not playing on glaciers what is really holding Ramon back”? Only time will tell……

And finally,

Kentucky Sports Radio Blog Figure of the YearOH Napier

Sometimes men come along that you couldnt create with a script. OH Napier is one of those men. He wrote the song “Final Four or Hit the Door” which you can hear here .

Then he ran for County Judge Executive in Breathitt County….but lost in a tight one 3600 – 58. Here was his campaign platform:

I am fifty years old and I have a college education. I am smart enough on computers to help this county by contacting people that can help us get good things to happen in this county. I am willing to donate all my time to help this county. Being a single man I will make the job of Judge a Full Time job. I will look at it as an opportunity to help us all and most of all the children. I will take a big part of the Judges Salary and go up and down the roads and find people that will use like $500 that I will take out of the Salary of the Judge at least twice a month to give to families in need. I will pick who I want to give the money too. No one can tell me. That is my first Promise That I am making. That means One Thoudsand Dollars each month will go straight from my pocket back to the people of this county.

And now he has created his own blog. Here is a sample entry:

O My God how many married women I have screwed while thier wonderful husbands were at work. Hell the women even gave me baths as when they bought me out of the hills and laid me in their beds they washed me down. But it was beautiful and women do not worry as my mouth is sealed. Just wanting these men to know how easy it was. Yep breathitt County is full of stupid people that think they know it all. The men go to work every day while their women are at home screwing the poor man on the street, like Me but you should have heard them begging me for more. Some of their men I liked or I would have moved in but I decided to quit that kind of living and many women are now sorry but on The other hand. some men can relax. This is my board and coming soon will be many articles about Breathitt county and the opeople that live here. My woman ask me to write this article and now I did and I am on board as this article and blog is NATIONWIDE so be looking for your name as I will write all about my adventures in this god forsaken county. as always love OH

OH Napier….the one and only.

So there you go folks, the 2006 awards…..feel free to give your own…..

Article written by Matt Jones