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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

It’s a flattop. End of discussion.

Nerlens Noel joined KSTV via Skype this afternoon to discuss all things Kentucky basketball. The nation’s No. 1 high school player talked about his weekend in Lexington, his relationship with the players, why he picked the Cats, begging Anthony Bennett to join the movement, and much, much more.

We’ll have the interview on the site tomorrow at noon, but for now, just know that he wants his hairdo to be called a flattop. He’s aware that it has the makings of a hi-top fade, but it is a flattop to him. And what he says is all that matters.

Nerlens also admitted to having three seasons of the Kid ‘n Play cartoon on DVD so he knows the origins of his own swag.

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

48 Comments for It’s a flattop. End of discussion.

  1. Jarred
    2:55 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink


  2. Experienced
    2:55 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    I surely hope his school is out for summer or is on early release. Otherwise how is he skype dating with KSR? Just sayin………

  3. Jackson
    3:03 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Knicks going after Phil Jackson.

  4. UKChillfan
    3:05 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    The “flat top feller” it is.

  5. The Dude
    3:05 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    2. Hard to believe, but they even have computers in schools now!

  6. hahah wow
    3:08 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    at the people who called it anything but a flattop

  7. Regardless of what Nerlens is calling his hairdo, “flat top feller” is still a bit too cornpone for my taste.

  8. Ned
    3:13 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Just because it’s a flat top, doesn’t mean he has to have that corn pone nick name. How about “Flat top flyer”? “feller” is just so…so…KUNtry. Puts me in the mind of Deliverance, and over-alls, and Cracker Barrel, and creepy, teethless grins, and hollers and moonshine and relatives having sex with relatives. Now, we don’t want THAT do we???

  9. Mike
    3:13 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    4) No. Never.
    7) Agreed. It sounds cheesy and dumb, even if you’re using it ironically. Dude doesn’t need a nickname, his real name is already awesome. Nicknames should come naturally, they shouldn’t feel artificial.

  10. Admiral Ackbar
    3:14 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    It’s a trap!

  11. Ned
    3:14 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    #7….That’s a GREAT word, isn’t it…..”Corn Pone”… it.

  12. Paratrooper
    3:16 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Seriously, can we just STOP with all the talk about this kid’s hair ? Can Matt Jones and the rest of the libtards at KSR concentrate on his BB game, his interests other than cartoons ? I’m sure he’s getting SICK of it. Is that the absolute limit of your talents ? Or do you not even care, Matt Jones, et all ? And you make fun of others in the sports commentary biz !! Professional jealousy, perhaps ?

  13. Billy Maverick
    3:16 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink recently asked 146 NBA players who they thought were the dirtiest players in the NBA, not including their own teammates, and former Kentucky Wildcat Jamaal Magloire made the list, checking in at No. 14. Link:

  14. #7…..did you mean to say “Corn Poon”?

  15. Lamb's Sheep
    3:23 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Great article about College Coaches and Cal is mentioned a lot.. in a good way

  16. Ok then
    3:24 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Glad he wants it to be called a flat-top.. But wait till he hears someone yells “great job Flat Top Feller!”. He will then projectile vomit and demand we call it a bowl cut.. Or at least this is how I’d react

  17. btowncatfan
    3:26 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    9. This nickname came as natural as any could. If you listen to the radio show, the sage of Nonesuch, KY, Turley Curd, could not think of his real name during his recruitment. This lead Turley to refer to him as “that flat top feller”, hence his new nickname.

  18. #12 is a douche
    3:28 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    that’s all

  19. minton
    3:31 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    #8, how could you possibly say ANYTHING negative about Cracker Barrel? Have you eaten there? Awesome food. Fatening but so delish.

  20. Paratrooper
    3:32 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    I am MAD. I am RAGING MAD, I tell ya.

  21. Steve
    3:33 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Dude, you got a dell.

  22. TAXman
    3:34 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Yeah, i think a lot of people aren’t realizing that this wasn’t a nickname generated by anyone other than Turley Curd who couldn’t think of his name, so just called him “that flat top feller”

  23. Dipstick Freemont
    3:35 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    I thought he tweeted he wanted it to be a Gumby?

  24. Ned
    3:36 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    #19….oh I didn’t say I didn’t eat there myself and enjoy the County Boy’s Breakfast immensely, but you have to admit, it is a bit rural and has that, shall we say, hick atmosphere to it.

  25. bung
    3:38 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    that Flattop Feller is gonna fit right in…welcome Nerlens…

  26. In keeping with the whole Hee Haw theme of this stupid nickname, Turley Curd has to be a spoonerism, ala, Archie Campbell. His real name must be Curley Turd.

  27. theWilkman
    3:39 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Paratrooper – I doubt he’s tired of people talking about his hair. With the UK shaved in the back and his attempt to get the rest of the team to follow suit, I’d say the kid actually loves the talk about his “flat top”. And “feller” is hilarious. The whole combination of “flat top feller” is a mix of young and old, black and white, perfect for our team and its fanbase.

  28. Thomas Beisner
    3:40 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    #2 today was an early dismissal day and he was done at noon.

  29. TN Cat
    3:41 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Are they really building a Cracker Barrel in Middlesboro? I hate having to wait until I get to Corbin to eat when I drive up for a game.

  30. Proud to be a citizen of BBN!
    3:42 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Agree with everyone who thinks ‘feller’ is hick-sounding. It’s a bad reflection on us here in Kentucky. Chicken bucket on head > Flat Top Feller, but not by much.

  31. Nerlens
    3:44 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Call me what you want, as long as it is National Champion Feller

  32. Paratrooper
    3:46 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Hey # 20, I thought I told you that you couldn’t imitate me or use the “Paratrooper” tag line until you clean my toilet and shine my shoes. Now put down the crack pipe, turn off Cartoon Channel, get off yo’ mama’s couch and get started. And remember you said you’d use your tongue on the toilet. And #18, you’re next. I’m not even sure either one of you is even GOOD ENOUGH to clean my toilet. LOL

  33. Fred Crime Dog
    4:00 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Man I was hoping never to hear those dreaded 3 words again… Guess I’m wrong.. Geez I hope tha nickname doesn’t stick. I’ll go ahead and say its the worst nickname of all time.. Please tell me one worse? I’m all ears…

  34. OogieBoogieMan
    4:01 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    33. Since you’re so concerned about the limits of the KSR crew’s talents, how about a little less reliance on cliches like “putting down the crack pipe” or “mama’s couch.” I’m sure such a talent as yourself can show more creativity than that!

  35. nassau65
    4:10 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Whatever you want Big man, Flat Top feller it is. Thanks again for coming to UK. I’m already lookin forward to this next season.

  36. SMHitopfade
    4:27 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Flat tops are FLAT on Top… Get a level out young buck, you’re embarrassing yourself.

  37. ParatrooperSucks
    4:27 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink


  38. NotSatire
    4:30 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Flattoppers win Number Nine!

  39. jimi
    5:14 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Hey, if the man wants us to call it his “Kid N Play” Flat Top & the Kid Can Play……..

    … be it!!!!

  40. Real Cats Fan
    5:33 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    12, were you one of the chicken littles who were wringing their hands that we might offend or embarrass Anthony Davis with all of the “Fear the Brow”, “Bow to the Brow” and “UniBlocker” signs and T-shirts? As luck would have it, he thought the whole thing was pretty funny, and embraced it in the end. Give these kids a little more credit – you don’t come to UK to be a shrinking violet. If you do something to make yourself more individualistic (tats, hairstyle, flamboyant dress, etc.), then expect people to talk about it or don’t do it!

  41. Fred Sanford
    6:52 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Don’t kid yourselves. He said to call it a flat-top just to appease you honkies.

  42. Thank You 42!
    7:07 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    Seriously! That and Matt has 10,000 “Flat Top Feller” shirts already printed and ready to go!

  43. Capt.Obvious
    8:29 pm April 25, 2012 Permalink

    12) Paratrooper is the typical repub d-bag…and I bet he isn’t even military…yet wraps himself in the flag and hates on all those not like him…that, of course, and the so-called liberal media….lol. Go back to your self-appointed trailer park watchman job.

  44. Lou eaton
    8:43 am April 26, 2012 Permalink

    I’d say we best call it whatever he wishes and he wants it to be called “flatop” then I suggest we fall in line……

  45. Jeff
    9:01 am April 26, 2012 Permalink

    Matt this doesn’t mean you can continue to use ‘Flat-Top Feller’ nickname. It sounds so red neck, it’s embarrassing. Move on…

  46. Tampa Satchel
    2:46 pm April 26, 2012 Permalink

    How about “Eraserhead”? Maybe a stretch as a double entendre, but I’ve heard “eraser” used to describe a shot blocker before.

    He kind of looks like the Big Lots mascot too.

  47. Jacob
    12:12 pm April 28, 2012 Permalink

    I called it a “box” but whatever.