Skip to content

Kentucky Sports Radio

University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

Insider Information on the Wiggins Decision

wigginskansas

As a KSR writer whose credits include “The Bachelor Running Diary”, “aUKward Fan Photos”,  and numerous drinking games, you can understand that I am privy to information everyone else around here simply doesn’t receive. How else would I accomplish the writing I have done for you? Though you may disagree, KSR readers, you are lucky to have me. Because tonight I am going to share with you some information no one else has. I am going to provide you the REAL REASONS (4 of them) Andrew Wiggins chose Kansas over our beloved Wildcats. When you’re done reading this, I think you’ll understand his decision more fully.

 

REASON 1:

dorothy

Andrew Wiggins loves quoting movies. One of his favorite movies is “Wizard of Oz.” Some will tell you this is because he’s a dog person, but it’s really because he has a crush on Dorothy. He grew up quoting Dorothy’s lines from the movie whenever he could and he wants to continue this. A source told me one of his biggest NBA aspirations is to get dunked on by someone in his rookie season and say to himself “We aren’t in Kansas anymore.” I must admit, this makes complete sense to me. It WOULD be a really awesome thing for him to say in 2014 in Miami after Dwayne Wade throws an alley oop to Lebron and Lebron throws it down on Wiggins’ head. Don’t you agree? I bet his decision is already beginning to make more sense to you.

 

REASON 2:

Andrew Wiggins loves space. Loves everything about it. Now, I know what you’re thinking. He went to Kansas because he wanted his space. He didn’t want to be smothered by Kentucky fans. Not true. So, he likes space to do his thing on fast breaks? Nope. Not that either. It’s because he literally loves “Space.” As in, if basketball doesn’t work out, he wants to be an astronaut.

What most of you all don’t know about Kansas is that there is a little place there called Hutchison, Kansas. You know what is in Hutchison, Kansas? Oh, nothing much, JUST THE “KANSAS COSMOSPHERE AND SPACE CENTER!!”

Outside of the Kansas Cosmosphere and Space Center, Hutchinson, Kansas,

I don’t know much about space or cosmospheres, but according to my source:

“When a space museum names itself the Cosmosphere, no one should be startled to find it contains the largest collection of Russian space program and cosmonaut artifacts outside of Moscow. What is surprising is that the collection is in the USA, far from mainstream space tourism hubs in Florida, Houston, Alabama, even Washington DC. It’s in Kansas, in the relatively modest-sized city of Hutchinson.”

I must say, that IS surprising. And it most certainly factored in Andrew’s decision. A decision that has to be becoming clearer and clearer to you.

 

REASON 3:  

Andrew has always been a HUGE Greg Ostertag fan and wants to follow in his foot steps. And why wouldn’t he? Greg Ostertag played at Kansas. Greg Ostertag appeared in two NBA Finals. Greg Ostertag’s athleticism is unmatched. Oh, and I almost forgot. Andrew has also said he wants to appear in PLAYGIRL. Just like his idol, Greg Ostertag.

ostertag

 

REASON 4:

wigginshair

We’ve seen the above picture on this site many times. It is no secret that Andrew appreciates a nice hairdo. While most would think that would’ve certainly led him to Kentucky to play for Cal and the Paul Mitchell creation on his head, Andrew is smarter than us. He knows that Cal’s hair is fleeting. Bill Self’s rug is not, though. It’s forever. Because it is fake.

self hair

He’s a smart one, that Wiggins.

 

 

As you can see now, a LOT more went into this decision than you realized. Kentucky simply couldn’t provide Wiggins with everything he wanted. If we could have gotten him to Dinosaur World or Mammoth Cave during his visit I would have liked our chances.

 

But, you win some and you lose some on the recruiting trail. On top of all the things already mentioned, Kansas is home to the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. He wants to see if he can palm it.

(I bet he can’t).

 

@AFlenerKSR

Article written by Aaron Flener

John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

48 Comments for Insider Information on the Wiggins Decision



  1. Jimmy
    9:34 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    WHAT!!!



  2. Rei
    9:36 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Can we stop talking about this attention seeker?



  3. Otis
    9:38 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I love touching myself while watching Ostertag shoot jumper’s!



  4. UK
    9:42 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I agree with #4. While I don’t think Wiggins is an attention seeker, he shouldn’t be of any comcern to is anymore because he doesn’t affect us. We should concentrate on the young men who accepted the challenge to play at the University of Kentucky. Poythress and Cauley-Stein included.



  5. seriously
    9:43 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    holy f*** this is bad



  6. Well . . . actually it's
    9:45 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Dwyane



  7. westerncat
    9:46 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I call BS on this!



  8. Icemanj
    9:46 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Seriously- time to let it go. Can we just not talk about Wiggins?



  9. Reality Check
    9:48 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Wiggins comes from a two parent home and they are in great shape financially. So, Cal, Wes and Nike were not able to sway him with backpacks full of cash.



  10. SKat
    9:50 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Here’s a radical idea- interview each member of the new team of Wildcats and let us know something interesting about them. I’m really not interested in the Jayhawk roster.



  11. UK
    9:51 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    #14 The Harrison’s come from a two parent household, Julius Randle went to a private school, and Kansas has never had a good one and done (LOL at Zah-Vee-Yay Henry and Josh Selby)

    Thanks for playing you racist.



  12. Gossip Hound
    9:55 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Posts like this are gonna keep us from getting wiggins



  13. Jpo
    9:55 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Spelled*



  14. TrollBait
    9:58 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    UL’s Chris Jones won’t be eligible by mid season. There’s a reason why he was a JUCO!!!



  15. sasd
    9:59 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I’ve been wondering.. when kansas and duke matchup and wiggins plays jabari.. who will you go for? I hate duke but I’m leaning towards Jabari just because I’m bitter. At least he cut us from his list.



  16. Bluerthanu
    10:01 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I agree with #7, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that this post was a spoof, but what a complete waste of time. If you’re gonna make up dumb stories about a player, at least make them up about our own players and not make us think you are actually bringing some solid info to the table.



  17. Only UK fan
    10:07 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I am not a troll of KSR writers, but please let this be the last time we see Wiggin name in the writing above. And most definitely going for duke and Jabari. I hope we see the least amount of wiggins for the rest of the next 10 years.



  18. Ziel
    10:13 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Posts like this make our fanbase look terrible. We can’t just respect a top recruit’s decision and move on? Because he didn’t pick UK we have to take petty jabs at him through silly stories that basically amount to trying to make fun of him as a person. Would you written this had he chosen UK? Grow up dude.



  19. Cap at
    10:17 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Please tell me that I am not the only person who clikcked on and read the entire story about the Worlds Largest “Ball” of Twine!! (BTW, they sure know how to “ball” in Kansas:)))



  20. Dee W.
    10:30 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    18 – completely agree. This is pitiful.

  21. I hear that he is allergic to Alpha Males.



  22. Eric Bledsoe
    10:38 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I reeded See Spot Runn to dad lil kids for da NBA be carin campain. Cal be so proud of mee. Hees proud of my maff and reiding skillz G.



  23. TDog
    10:40 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Honestly stop with these posts. I rarely post here but am an avid reader and am sick of these Wiggins posts. He’s not a Cat and making jokes about why he isn’t will just piss people off. Move on.



  24. CalsCheeseTits
    10:50 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron this article is as dumb as your face.



  25. Rick Roy
    10:53 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Worst.post.ever Wow. No one besides Drew and Matt should post.



  26. People...wow
    10:54 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Lighten up, people. Grow a pair. Y’all need thicker skin. This post is all in fun. It’s comedy and not appreciating it because its about a player who chose a different school is ridiculous. Don’t act so high and mighty. That holier-than-thou attitude is what makes our fan base look bad, not a little tounge-in-cheek fun. Jeez. You all sound like a bunch of grouchy, bitter old men.



  27. Nick
    10:56 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Dude…smh. Leave the KID be. We’re gonna be great and you’re still gonna be the worst poster on here, so please let us walk away from this ordeal with some class. This site is like a strip bar… Dozens of great writers and one crappy one to make the others stand out.



  28. People...wow
    10:56 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    And assigning a post as bad just based on the author is as immature as you all make a little sarcastic comedy sound. It’s like a middle school girl holding a grudge. Good god



  29. Kevin C.
    10:58 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron, do everyone a favor, and pull your lower lip over your head, then swallow.



  30. People...wow
    10:59 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Aaron Flener, I liked this post. It was funny and a stark contrast to the serious stuff the site normally puts out. Everybody needs to relax and laugh every once in a while.m Good job.



  31. Archie goodwin falls alot
    10:59 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I HOPE AND PRAY WE MEET UP WITH KANSAS IN THE TOURNAMENT!!! We are gonna destroy them i really wish we were playing them in the champions classic.. I really really hope we run into them say maybe sweet 16.. There is not much more in this world that makes me more happy than beating bill self and this would make it extra special..



  32. Archie goodwin falls alot
    11:02 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    And also ksr can we please please please stop talking about andrew wiggins.. Its getting kinda ridiculous and really lame.. Maybe do a piece like this on some of our incoming players. y’all are doing research of some of the kids most favorite things.. sure that makes marcus lee, julius randle, hawkins, and james young feel really welcomed and wanted.. just sayin give it up please..



  33. 9-asty
    11:05 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    I wonder if KSR knows that there are 8 guys coming to UK to play basketball this fall, and none of them are named Wiggins.



  34. ashley shaffer
    11:26 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    My post got deleted earlier for being critical of the site…Matt you need new writers, just sayin…



  35. HawaiianCat
    11:34 pm May 15, 2013 Permalink

    Can someone, anyone with editorial authority, Matt, Drew, MrsTT, ANYONE, please put a stop to these stupid freaking infantile posts about Wiggins? We have EIGHT McD HS All-Americans, 4 talented KY guys and maybe the best returning center in college basketball on the roster for next season. Maybe just one of the KSR contributors could dig up something to write about one of these guys?



  36. jackiemoon
    2:43 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    well said Ziel 18)



  37. Bob
    7:09 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    This post makes me long for the Bachelor posts.



  38. ???
    7:12 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    I don’t know what a Flener is, but it can’t be good.



  39. KG
    7:34 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    Coach Rupp had the definitive answer on losing a recruit. #9 you do have proof of all those payoffs you are accusing Cal and UK of don’t you? That’s what I figured! You need to crawl back under your manure pile there in Lawrence before your sibling turds miss you!



  40. MrWildcat
    7:44 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    I wanted this to be an actual article of why he chose Kansas. And also the last wiggins article.



  41. Iknowyouthinkuarecute
    8:10 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    but seriously that wasn’t cute or funny at all. Just lame.



  42. Really
    8:21 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    This isn’t clever or witty or funny AT ALL!



  43. yesterday's wine
    8:31 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    Ughhhhh ! In the future when you see Flener’s name at the top of a post,just scroll on by, nothing to see or read there.



  44. Find a day job
    8:37 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    I’m with #5 on this one.

    After the bachelor posts and then this I would resign immediately and save yourself from further embarrassment.

    It really doesn’t get much worse.



  45. Bluemania
    9:14 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    I know exactly why he didn’t come to UK! Just yesterday I read an article on bleacher report that makes alot of sense, to me at least!! Andrew seen a post on Aaron Harrison’s twitter page where one of Arron’s friends said fu*k Andrew Wiggins!! When Arron seen it he knew that Andrew was following his twitter, and he deleted it as soon as he seen it, but Andrew had already seen it!! Andrew was really upset, and he apologized to Andrew trying to smooth things over, but the damage had already been done!!!! This is exactly why I believe he chose Kansas over ky!! Why, if he wasn’t coming to UK, would he be following Harrison’s twitter?? Now I know a bunch of u smart asses is prolly going to say just move on dude, but I feel better towards Andrew now that I have heard this, because I really really hated him till now, but I’m really pissed at Harrison’s stupid friend for making that stupid comment that he did!! I guess it made Andrew really feel like he wasn’t really wanted at ky!! I don’t know!! Just thought this might help somebody understand more of what went down!!



  46. hot cheetos and takis
    9:28 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    This is stupid and petty at best. The kid didn’t pick UK. Flener looks like a spurned school girl in this post.



  47. theWilkman
    10:09 am May 16, 2013 Permalink

    Just awful. The quality of this site just gets worse with every post. Can we PLEASE bring back Beisner?



  48. Billdozer
    1:30 pm May 16, 2013 Permalink

    Jesus…. This site is absolutely terrible! THIS is one of the most classless acts I’ve seen yet. I’m half a hearbeat away from announcing that I’m embarrassed to be a UK fan…