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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

If John Calipari took over KSR…

During halftime of Saturday’s football game, the KSR live blog turned into a collection of Coach Cal’s best quotes, but with a KSR spin. The submissions we got from commenters were too good to leave in the live blog, so I went back and picked out the best to share with you here in this first (and probably only) edition of “If John Calipari took over KSR…”

Add your own in the comments section.

*************

“Be your blogger’s keeper.”

“If you can’t blog, we can’t hide you.”

“It’s not for everyone. You can’t expect to come in here and write 20 posts per day. It’s a shared sacrifice.”

“I don’t like the font system. But if it’s Tahoma versus Times New Roman, I’m taking Tahoma every time.”

“Write your blog.”

“I’m the grandson of a Pennsylvania coal miner and now I’m the editor on a Kentucky sports blog.”

“KSR is the Commonwealth’s blog.”

“If KSR won the Pulitzer and none of our writers got drafted, I’d be disappointed.”

“When John Wilmhoff got the call from ESPN, I said if you want to do what is best for you and your family, go to ESPN.  If you want to do what is best for me and my family, stay at KSR for four years.”

“Early in the year, we’ll have a lot of typos. But I expect us to be one of the best blogs in March.”

“I said when KSR got a new server, it was the best day in the history of KSR. Now people get mad at me for saying that.”

“If a blogger comes back and gets carpal tunnel, what am I gonna tell that blogger?”

“We don’t have a magic mouse. Any website can do what we’re doing. It’s just that, in three years, we’ve had 15 writers find full-time jobs.”

“Last year, Drew Franklin wrote the fifth most blogs. Tyler Thompson wrote the fourth most. Now, they’re No. 1 and 2 on the site.”

“KSR is here to hang banner ads.”

Article written by Drew Franklin

I can recite every line from Forrest Gump, blindfolded. Follow me on Twitter: @DrewFranklinKSR

68 Comments for If John Calipari took over KSR…



  1. the ghost of Bill Hicks
    11:21 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Beisner pooped ice cream.



  2. Price is wrong
    11:22 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Read this, then hear the sound they play when you lose on Price is Right.



  3. gannon-BBN
    11:24 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “it took us a long time, but we finally got to 2000 posts! I’m just glad we got there before that OTHER blue site!”



  4. Chris
    11:25 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “We are a writers first blog”



  5. slammajamma
    11:25 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    this is gold! great work.



  6. Axe Cop
    11:26 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Ha! Well done, Drew.

    BTI makes a nice salad that I enjoy eating.



  7. Chris
    11:27 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “You readers are craaaazzzzzzyyyyyy”



  8. Bigcat76
    11:28 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    When football season comes around (just like Big Blue Madness) “I hate this”



  9. Cal says
    11:30 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I like getting kids ready for the KSR. I also like chowda and selling cars.



  10. AfghanCat
    11:30 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    6.That just made me spit out my drink.



  11. snoopaloop
    11:31 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Change to an above quote: “KSR is the Commonwealth’s blog. It is a part of everyone, from Pikeville to Paducah.”



  12. Chris
    11:31 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “I don’t think I’m in the job of sports writing anymore, I’m in the job of helping Ryan lemond reach his dreams” that’s bad I just couldn’t think of anything good to put with it lol.



  13. Matt Jones
    11:39 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I don’t need Drew, what is it he can do for me? What do I want to be? 1 or 1a?



  14. Ugh
    11:39 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Rashawn, Nick, Tyler, John, would you accept walk on roles to make room for some real talent?



  15. Cal says
    11:41 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “Enjoy it. Take a breath, kick back and enjoy. Because this doesn’t happen every year at Memphis. It happens at Kentucky and those other programs. It doesn’t happen at Memphis.”



  16. LittleLebowskiUrbanAchiever
    11:41 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Listen, everybody keeps comparing Tomlin to the Drew Franklin, and that’s not fair. Franklin was a once in a generation photoshopper, but does that mean Tomlin doesn’t have a chance to go out there and break some records? Of course not.



  17. LittleLebowskiUrbanAchiever
    11:45 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Listen, I’ve got three writers – Corey Nichols, Ally Tucker, and John Wilmhoff, and one of them is going to have to step up and handle some Thursday night notes. Now i don’t know which one it’s going to be, but we really need one of them to step up.



  18. Musehobo
    11:51 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Creative genius Drew.



  19. Al B. Sure
    11:52 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “There’s no other blog — none — as connected to their basketball program as this one, because those other blogs have other programs. It’s Kentucky, throughout this whole blog, and that’s what makes KSR unique.”



  20. Jax Teller
    11:56 am October 22, 2012 Permalink

    These are great.



  21. Champ
    12:05 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Funniest post Ive read in awhile. Good stuff.



  22. Roofus Howls
    12:06 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    #6 wins and #7 is a CLOSE second.

    “You people are crazy” has become Cal’s catchphrase. Much like Steve Austin and “Cause Stone Cold said so.”



  23. TulsaCat
    12:07 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    GoldChains Guy at Wheelers: “that’s what you posted last year! Heh heh”



  24. Jokersajoke
    12:07 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    KSR is the Blog Gold Standard.



  25. douggercats
    12:07 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    When you win the Pulitzer, hug your mama, hug your dad, and then hug me. And make sure I’m in the camera.



  26. ukjonese
    12:07 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    #3.. “some of those posts were vacated.. I had to ask my wife how long I have been writing for this website.”



  27. Jorts4life
    12:07 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “These KSR College writers think they poop ice cream.”



  28. Andrew Cassady
    12:10 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I liked “Right now we’re going to have a lot of typos. But by March we’ll be one of the best blogs in the country?



  29. Sir Brandon
    12:15 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Drew bringeth it yet again.
    Ad banner rotateth between Orange Leaf, Papa Johns, and random eating establishment where he just enjoyed a meal with a “good friend.”



  30. Eli
    12:16 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Matt Jones thinks he poops ice cream.



  31. Sir Brandon
    12:17 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Guest blogger Brandon Knight’s post “Knoweth Thine Enemy”



  32. Hal
    12:18 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    matt doesnt guarantee a night post to anyone.
    KSR isnt for everyone. if you can’t do UK football live blogs then dont come here.
    it’s not matt’s rule to make bloggers come to KSR. who’s rule is it? that’s right. it’s ESPN’s.
    whenever the haters start piling on i always look at what’s written at the top of my computer screen: post your blog.
    i would just like all of KSRNation to know when i said “guys i hate this” to my bloggers i wasnt talking about live-blogging UK football. i was talking about all the pregame stuff.



  33. Elija
    12:19 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    This is the best thing I’ve ever read on this site and it came from comments.



  34. Tom Sellecks Mustache
    12:19 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “We’ve really only been blogging for 5 years, since 2 of them were vacated.”



  35. bgriffdizzle
    12:19 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I hope brian long appreciates ksr being number one in ratings



  36. OneAndDone
    12:21 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “We aren’t promising new bloggers anything. They all have to start at KSR College and earn their space.”



  37. TheRobBromley
    12:25 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “We are every other blog’s Super Bowl”



  38. It's miller time
    12:25 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    My vision, my vision is one of banquets and blogs, Pulitzers and parades, a return of this legendary blog back atop its rightful place of the mountain that is college sports media



  39. OneAndDone
    12:30 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “You have two good writers like Drew Franklin and Tomlin and you ask yourself ‘how do I get them on the same blog at the same time?’ That’s just something we are going to have to figure out.



  40. Typical Louisville Fan
    12:38 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Coach Cal plegiarises..



  41. CatGrad7072
    12:47 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I double-dog dare you to do the same for Joker.
    mumble, incomplete sentences, can’t recruit or develop writers, other SEC blogs get the 5star writers, because of our location, we have to take high school dropouts, etc.



  42. BillyClydesDriver
    12:58 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    We paid tribute to moderators like Jones, Franklin, and Beisner. We honored legends like The Turkeyhuntttter…and Tomlin. We’ve reflected on the revered post that we tell our children and our grandchildren about…Twas the night before game day, if Louisville had Facebook, guide to the summer Olympics and the late night uncensored podcast..



  43. Hal
    1:02 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    KSRCollege will NEVER compete with the big boys unless matt upgrades their ipads & gets them a live-blogging room.



  44. Ms. J.C. Ausmus
    1:05 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    GREAT post, Drew!!!



  45. Kyle Tucker
    1:13 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I’m looking forward to screaming at Cal in the press box….. “you’re a child, you are 6 years old.”



  46. Inside Howie Lindsy's Belly
    1:15 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    The only reason Cal has so many posts is because of WWW(.ksr.com)



  47. Hal
    1:16 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    im not sure if we’re going to make fun of more: pitino jokes or crean texts. and we may even have to mix texas tech HC jokes in the same post. i do know one thing though: i like my bloggers.



  48. Charlie the Mouth
    1:20 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    #43 No doubt. They’ll also never compete if they can’t successfully upload the second half of their podcasts. Let’s get some competent employees Matt. This happens way too often.



  49. kybluegirly
    1:26 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    LOVE this post! KSR Hall of Fame nominee!

    “They have a good board. “There is no disrespect. Howie Lindsey is a great writer. Don’t root against them.”



  50. JT
    1:29 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Bravo to Drew and all the comments I’ve read. I don’t think i’ve ever laughed as hard at anything on this site ever. Instant classic posts, I’m gonna have to print these off and save them



  51. Aaron C Bunch
    1:35 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Matt Jones is the best writer for facts on KSR and Drew is the best for humor posts. I read these 2 100pct of the time I am on the site, and read other ppl’s posts if it’s an interesting topic. Why does Lemond write?? GO CATS.



  52. Aaron C Bunch
    1:36 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Why *doesn’t Lemond



  53. BURRRRR
    1:37 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    “Some bloggers out there say our kids don’t go to class. Our KSRcollege kids had a 3.7 GPA. Nine had a B average. “



  54. LittleLebowskiUrbanAchiever
    1:57 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Listen, I tell all my blogging recruits – I can’t hide you here. So if you can’t handle hating Louisville every single day, then don’t come here…cause I can’t hide you.



  55. Press Conference Notes
    2:33 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Reporter: “Cal, can you comment on Tyler Thompson’s eligibility issues, or identify who paid for her unofficial visit to the women’s clinic?”

    Cal: “If we were to liveblog tomorrow, Tyler would moderate it”

    Hubby (interrupting): “It is KSR policy not to comment on our writer’s eligibility until the beginning of blogging season. Thank you.”



  56. blawblaw
    2:42 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    They don’t hang banners for anything other than Boone’s Butcher Shop around here. That’s why you want to blog for KSR.



  57. Booney
    2:45 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I don’t know if I’m in the business of running a blog or taking care of families. I tell future writers, “this will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do!”.



  58. Yesindeeddythemrbigguns
    2:52 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    I don’t no about a writing contest but if its a dance contest where twinning.



  59. JVC
    2:57 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Drew, you selfish motherf*cker!



  60. Hal
    3:05 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    we’re everybody’s louisville hate day.

    we brought back BTI, beisner & hubby to hang our louisville hate day posts, together.



  61. Hal
    3:12 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    when KSR walks into a writing class all the other blogs go home.

    as long as matt jones is here we will never have to worry about not having enough internships.



  62. dave
    3:28 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    now, how about this. SEVEN sec blogs will get blogging awards this year.

    listen, we wanted to live-blog with ISR on neutral servers. ISR said no but how about exchanging posts? we said no thanks & now we’re moving on.



  63. acrphoto
    3:30 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Drew’s just a schmo who rolls out blogposts. He’s good with that.



  64. Sources Close To Program
    3:41 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    You forgot two of the most important quotes….”you people at KSR are crazy,” and “the young bloggers think they can poop ice cream.”



  65. Coach O
    4:49 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Well well, I guess Matt Jones and KSR needs to be ban for a while. U are not on Cal’s poop list!



  66. Rand
    6:08 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    Lets be honest, Cal could take this website back to the top of sports blog websites. Drew and Matt are letting their new celebrity status get to them and the lack of quality is starting to show.



  67. In Cal We Trust
    10:34 pm October 22, 2012 Permalink

    KSR first ballot hall of fame worthy!



  68. Matt K
    12:01 am October 23, 2012 Permalink

    “Matt Jones was a top 5 blogger 2 years ago and this past year he filled in when he was needed to lead ksr to the top”