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University of Kentucky Basketball, Football, and Recruiting news brought to you in the most ridiculous manner possible.

I Wonder How Much tOSU Paid George Lucas for the Licensing

From Deadspin earlier today:

An open letter to Mitch Barnhart:

Please secure the rights to have a Lord of the Rings special event for the Tennesee home game. This is not a request, this is a demand.

Love Always, Fake Gimel

PS Do not hire folks who dress like Elves. They are too fair and wussy. The lone exception is have one pretty boy dress up like Legolas so female Wildcat fans have somebody to swoon over. Instead, find good costumed Dwarves and the Men of Rohan.

PPS The Wildcat Pep Band should be able to work the Gondor Theme to lead into the UK Fight Song. If they get started now, they should be ready by the Tennessee game.

PPPS You could give away plastic medieval shields with the checkered 7-championships pattern on it. And plastic swords to beat on the shields. Why no, I don’t expect fans to start throwing the swords at Bruce Pearl.

PPPPS I have so many more ideas. Hire me to coordinate this.

Article written by The Fake Gimel Martinez

I may be fake, but my passion for UK sports is real. Probably put all my best work at Aseaofblue.com and firebilly.com, so go there when I start coasting here.