One of the great traditions in athletics is to taunt the other team. How many times have you enjoyed the great taunts of fanbases from the past and thought, “man I wish we could do that?” While in high school, the Middlesboro Fighting Yellow Jackets played an unfortunate team from Whitley County that had a player whose name was Brad Morgan. The student section chanted “Big M…Little Organ” with such ferocity that the last I heard, Morgan had decided to move to Paraguay and join the movement to attempt to end its debilitating landlocked status. That is what a good chant can do….cut a team to its core.
However at UK, I sometimes think the fans have been a bit weak on their taunting skills. One can only chant “Matt Walsh is gay” so many times before the creativity begins to wane. In order to help the cause, I have found a method to truly cut to the core of the Middle Tennessee State football program this weekend.
As you surely know, MTSU is famous for being the alma mater of one James M. Buchanan who, in addition to his spiffy moustache, is best known for being the mind behind the economic theory known as “public choice” theory. The theory, which in its most simple form suggests that government actors are no different than regular citizens and thus act solely for their own personal interest, rather than that of the collective good. Because voters have so little knowledge of what their political representatives do, political actors can act in this self-interest and suffer little repurcussion. For even if voters were able to become informed and understand these decisions, their vote is of such little importance and their ability to change a particular issue so minute, it is not in their personal interest to take the time to follow goverment, and very few do….thus making political representatives self-interested actors in both theory and practice.
Of course you knew all that. You cant stop by a tailgate at a UK game without hearing fights about public-choice theory…..whether its the James M. Buchanan Wildcat Nation crew drinking whisky and reading The Calculus of Consent or the old-school crew from Corbin wearing t-shirts with a Milton Friedman picture on it and the slogan “Hey Buchanan, How’s my a** Taste”, public-choice theory is simply not something you should debate in mixed company.
But with MTSU coming to town, it is time to use Buchanan to our (comparative) advantage and taunt their most famous Nobel Prize winning alumnus. Rather than have our band play music that would make my great grandmother ask for something more modern, why not have them lead the crowd in a chant that will make the MTSU players tremble in fear? We all know that every MTSU player will be familiar with modern economic theories…..I mean they are college educated after all.
So that is your call dear KSR reader…..come up with a taunt that combines snarkiness and boring economic theories…..the best (and dorkiest) one will win a personalized Hubby autograph and the honor of dorkiest KSR poster in history. IT is up to you….
With some help from Economics major Mosley:
“”Kentucky = US Government, MTSU = Fannie Mae; We Take Over You!”
“Hey MTSU, in the long run, we’re all dead, but in the short run, your mother’s still a whore!”
“If Myron Prior is allowed to roam freely, ceteris paribus, Joe Craddock will exit the game with a dislocated urethra.”
“An equation even MTSU can understand: C + I + G + X-M = PAIN”
“Consider our defense to be barriers to entry —to the end zone.”
“There’s only one exception to the Law of Diminishing Returns: Dicky Lyons on punts.”
“Our defense is more daunting than stagflation, supply shocks, and an import quota.”