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Hoosier hilarity


Typical Indiana fans.

Message boards (and comment sections) often bring out the worst in people, so the following should be taken with a grain of salt. However, it cannot be denied that some Indiana fans seem pretty confident about their chances on Saturday. Would I go as far to say delusional? Yes, yes I would. Take a look at some of the posts made on I assure you these are all real posts.

IU —– 76
UK—- 71

Hustle beats Talent, when Talent doesn’t Hustle

I’m sorry, but if one thing can be argued against this Kentucky team it is not that they don’t hustle. John Calipari teams are known for their toughness and ability to run the floor and this team is no exception.

81-80 IU with a winning jump shot from the corner…………………….by Elston.

This one predicts Derek Elston – IU’s seventh man, who is playing 13 minutes per game – to hit the game winner. Uhm, what?

One4Wall wrote: “All you are looking at is offense. UK averages 8 more rebounds per game (44 to 36) and 7 more blocks per game (11 to 4). UK is also #1 in FG% defense (32.6%) while IU is #39 (38.1%).”

What’s your point? You don’t score points for getting blocks.

A UK fan interjects in some ridiculous argument that Anthony Davis won’t be a factor in the game, with a few statistics. Then an IU fan comes back with this gem. You don’t score points for blocks, that’s right. But neither does IU. Kentucky blocks all of your shots, Hoosiers have ZERO points. See how that works?

Just have a minimum tooth requirement at the door and a no mullet policy. Problem solved.

This is funny, because when I look up the definition of “Hoosier” the qualification for mullets is right there; the only thing funnier than Indiana making fun of Kentucky is Tennessee making fun of Kentucky. Pot, meet kettle.


…You have a team out to a solid 8-0 start, with a couple legit wins under their belt …  And,  you’ve got a team comprised almost entirely of freshmen and sophomores getting ready to enter an environment which has been described by neutral third parties as “the loudest place in the country” when its at its peak.

Legit wins? Who are you kidding? The toughest team the Hoosiers have played this year is a 5-3 NC State team, which is nationally ranked, at best in the mid-60s, all the way down to the 80s. Aside from that, does a 4-4 Butler team who is scoring 67 points-per-game really impress you? Oh, and if you think Assembly Hall is really one of the most intimidating arenas in the nation, you need to get outside the state of Indiana more.

if Cal really thinks that IU fans won’t be 99.9% of the building, then he really is an idiot.  Those 100 or so Kentucky fans aren’t going to make a difference.  In terms of fan support, Kentucky can admittedly talk down to every program in the country, save one.  IU.

Ha! Haha! This guy expects only 100 Kentucky fans in the building. Challenge accepted. And if you want to get really technical, 99.9% of Assembly Hall capacity is only 38 people.

…who I would take if I had to play one game. Not who I would select for four years, not who I’d select for a whole season, not who I’d select for the NCAA tournament, but who I’d select for THIS game.

Hulls vs. Teague
Jones vs. Lamb
Oladipo vs. Gilchrist
Watford vs. Jones
Zeller vs. Davis

Rick Bozich wrote this article where he says “you’d take five guys from UK before you selected any from IU.” This is very true. I give you three golf claps, Mr. Bozich. But one IU fan doesn’t take too kindly to these words. In his post, he wants Zeller over Davis and Oladipo over Kidd-Gilchrist. Heck, I’ll give him Hulls over Teague, just because we’ve seen how bad Teague can get (but I don’t think he’ll be worse than Hulls on Saturday). Let this sink in. He wants Cody Zeller over the unanimous No. 1 overall draft pick in the NBA next season.

I hate Kentucky.

It’s funny, this is how far Indiana has fallen. I couldn’t care less about IU, yet some of their fans still have so much hatred.

I think that the crowd can do more to help the hoosiers than it will to mess with UK’s players. I think this game could possibly be the loudest game any of these players will ever play in for the rest of their lives, but to me that still shouldn’t mess with UK’s players too much.

He must be completely unaware Kentucky plays in Rupp Arena. I know there’s a difference between home and hostile crowds, but UK players know what noise is.

This is just a glimpse into the eyes of the IU fanbase and doesn’t at all reflect the fanbase as a whole. I know plenty of Hoosiers and they are all civil and respectful. Every school as their crazies, and usually those are the people who take to the boards. Enjoy the game, folks. I predict this one won’t be close. Undefeated season, don’t forget it.

Article written by Stuart Hammer

B.S. Broadcast Journalism from the University of Kentucky. @StuartHammerKSR

72 Comments for Hoosier hilarity

  1. Skip
    8:11 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I hope Davis goes for a triple double over Zeller, and Miller throws down some ridiculous dunk and then beckons for the IU student section to cheer.

  2. kentuckygentleman
    8:15 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I didn’t realize how delusional these people were. By the way, UK 72 Duke 65

  3. BigBlueSkyDog
    8:17 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Maybe all this stupid chatter from IU fans will light a fire under Teague. I’d love to see him have a break out game and lead us to a 40 point victory.

  4. atodaso
    8:17 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I don’t know if u guys remember in the kansas game when our team go totally dominated by another 7 foot white guy named Withey*. I wouldn’t be suprised if that happened again*.

  5. wilDCat
    8:18 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I’m all for confidence that your team is gonna win, but there’s also being delusional, and they are being delusional. Yeah, it’s possible IU can beat UK, and if I was an IU fan I’d be all about saying go IU let’s crush UK, but to say that Zeller is better than Davis or Oladipo is better than Gilchrist? No way, ever.

  6. ???
    8:19 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Ever notice how large Dave Baker’s ears are?

  7. RickyPVoodooDoll
    8:24 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    IU’s players have never played in a high pressured game, I look for them to come out very tight against UK. Their fans are starting a fight that they can not handle.

  8. J-money
    8:25 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I’m a UK student from Indianapolis who was born and raised a Purdue fan, so I hate more IU more than you could imagine. I am considering not going home for christmas break if we lose due to the amount of shit I will hear. I will give them one thing though, Assembly Hall is one of the loudest arenas in the country. It’s different than Rupp in that the stands go up more than out. Making it seem like fans are closer to the court. I am scared how Teague will play. Indiana people do not take to kindly to top talent leaving the state of Indiana for their higher education. He will probably hear the loudest of the boo birds.

  9. RickyPVoodooDoll
    8:27 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    IU finished 11th in the Big Ten last year.

  10. PatPattersonISwalkingthruthatdoor
    8:29 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink


  11. catcrawler
    8:30 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Your math is rubbish, Assembly Hall doesn’t hold 38,000 people. Go back to 7th grade.
    Teague/Hull is the most important matchup too.
    Teague can’t give Hulls open 3’s

  12. #99
    8:34 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    the only stat that the hoosiers will lead in will be turn overs. the pressure defense will force them to fall in the second half.

  13. bleedblueky
    8:38 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Hello KSR – Why no post posted yet mentioning our women had a great win by beating Duke by 7? Are you guys taking evening naps? 🙂

  14. I JEW
    8:39 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    i hope Cal runs up the score on them on purpose. THose pricks are gonna see what real 21rst century bball is like and i hope we FLEX 3 GOGGLES and MIDDLE FINGER that jew student section.

  15. swinging9
    8:40 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    indiana people are inbred trailor trash! how do you circumsize an indiana player? kick his sister in the chin!!!! bla ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa! UK 101-IU 46! book it!!!!!!!

  16. rbradleyp
    8:40 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I just read this awesome chant from the IU forum…I’m scared!

    “If you are going to become depressed because you will never be as good as your brother and then drive drunk in one of the vehicles that your coach provided for you before running from the police, make sure you grow a unibrow so the detectives will search for Anthony Davis instead.”
    Seems a bit long though, we may have trouble putting a beat to it.

  17. lumberjackcat
    8:41 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    there needs to be a post about matthew mitchells team beating duke!

  18. big tim
    8:43 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    dang ky girls beat top rank team duke and yall dont post nothin

  19. bleedblueky
    8:52 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    KSR – #10 and I are both asking you guys: WHERE’S THE POST ABOUT THE LADY CATS TAKIN DOWN THE DOOKIES???? 🙁

  20. schwing
    8:54 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    logic. thank you, stuart.

  21. KSR math at its best
    8:55 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    If you want to get REALLY technical, if 99.9% of Assembly hall capacity is 38 people like you claim, that means its only seats 38.038 people @ 100% capacity…

  22. KSR math at its best
    8:58 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    And it would really be more like 17 people given the capacity of ~17k

  23. Bo
    9:16 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I am so disappointed there has been no post about the women beating Duke!

  24. bigbluecats
    9:18 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Its ok 21/22 lol. Its just sarcasm. We are imbred hicks after all right? We have to use our fingers and toes and still cant count to 20 according to those mighty Hoosiers from, from, where was that again? KSR is news in the most ridiculous manner possible. Cause everyone knows the only thing to see in Indiana is a UK featured basketball game and Bass Pro Shops. Indiana is called the crossroads of america cause no one in their right mind wants to stay there

  25. ukfan4 life
    9:18 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    #10 UK beats #5 Duke 72-65. The girls are rocking!!!

  26. checkmyswag
    9:18 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    please stop feeding these IU trolls

  27. Lets break the drought boys
    9:19 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I really hope you are writing a post about the girls right now. They play tough as nails. I wish the boys forced 30 plus turnovers a game. Their defense is amazing. Go CATS the best basketball school in the country. Any day we beat Duke is a great day.

  28. ukfan4 life
    9:19 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    1 2 T
    #5 DUKE 34 31 65
    #10 UK 31 41 72

  29. NotFirst
    9:20 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    21,22 Thank you. You win the nerd hat. I’m certain all of us inbred hicks were completely confused by his reversal of 99.9/.1. Or maybe we all knew what he meant. My advice to you: quit trolling opinion pieces for math mistakes and go get laid. You’ll be much happier in the long run.

  30. Han
    9:22 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Heh. Lakers fans are melting down right now after the deal for CP3 has allegedly been blocked by Stern at the behest of the owners.

    Hornets are league-owned small market team and Lakers are the richest, so the owners protested the rich getting richer. Good ole billionaires fighting billionaires with millionaire game pieces.

  31. catfever
    9:24 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Assembly Hall holds 17,472 people. I think Big Blue fills half, I will be doing my part eventhough I hate driving in Indiana, Go Cats!!!

  32. Chris
    9:27 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Nice photoshop job. Put a UK logo on that shirt and they look like typical UK fans. You don’t have any room to talk.

  33. Johnny
    9:30 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    #29, he was just joking… I think…

  34. Dane Brammage
    9:33 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    In re the sinister man with the super-imposed 3-branched Menorrah, I could have sworn that photo was from TENN, the ‘Cuse, or FLA; and, perhaps Belknap campus area , or even Louisianna. Fella to his left (our visual right) looks like he just ended his daily state-fair carney shift. And that’s either a fake gold palm tree (he’s sportin’ (or a stubby phallic emblem that would embarrass Mr. T).

  35. Steve K
    9:35 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink


    This is a much better post than your first and I’m glad to see you are improving… That being said, I still have one major qualm with your article. I realize it’s good to be neutral and discuss Kentucky’s flaws. However, saying, “Just because we’ve seen how bad Teague can get,” is not how you accomplish that. Give me a break, dude. He’s a Freshman who has played exceptionally well in some games while struggling in others. I won’t play the age game with you, because as you acutely pointed out, that’s not your fault. However, the internet is “Age-Blind.” So look back just a few years and see how Derrick Jasper played in his first 8 games, look at Michael Porter, I mean let’s be honest… Look at Ramel’s numbers when he was a Senior.

    Teague is doing just fine and will only get better. Even at his own personal worst thus far, I can confidently say that I have seen worse on that exact same court, not more than 3 years ago. Sure, he hasn’t been as electrifying as Wall, or dependable as Knight in his first 8 games, but it’s December 8th… Before we go saying a player has been “bad” lets be realistic and thankful for what we have.

    Stu, it is this exact logic that prevents me from writing you off as a blogger. Sure, your first few posts have been mediocre at best. However, they haven’t been terrible, and like Teague, I assume you will get better. Thus, I won’t go around boards discussing how terrible your stories can be, but instead I will just wait for the day you improve.

  36. UK owns the tards
    9:36 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    32. Your daddy and his boyfriend are in that pic.

  37. NKY Austin
    9:38 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Nerd Hat…haha Good one!
    Should let him know there is no such thing as .038 of a person.

  38. Chris
    9:39 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    #36 You must be 12 years old.

  39. Bobbyperrysucks
    9:46 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    I hope we beat them by 50. Uk fans can be delusional at times ,but iu fans are insane! They should just be happy that they are not one of the worst teams in the country, like they have been the last 5 !

  40. Sheray thomas's vertical
    9:55 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Gimel’s nose vs anthony’s unibrow… What wins?

  41. old_school
    9:55 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    To suggest that IU players haven’t played in pressure games is utter non-sense. A good portion of their players are from Indiana – and if you know anything about Indiana high school basketball – you’ll know that many of those games are in packed gyms seating 5,000 or more – it is HIGH pressure.

    No – not the same talent level as they’ll see on Saturday – but those Indiana kids know pressure.

    Just a warning for you guys. And Hulls is a solid point guard. I saw him play at the Derby Classic – he put a cross over on Peyton Siva that nearly broke Siva’s ankles. The kid is a throw-back point guard like Travis Ford. Great shooter, high basketball IQ, deceptively quick.

    I do detest all the insults about Indiana’s white players by the UK fans. Why are UK fans suddenly so racist? Why can’t we accept that there are good players of all colors? To single players out because of the color of their skin – that’s pathetic.

    UK has sold their soul. I know if Nolan Richardson or Arkansas fans had made some disparanging commment about our little slow white guard when talking about Ford – we would have seen it as classless – but that’s what we’ve become.

    Can’t you see that UK fans – we’ve become what we once hated?

  42. Bulldawg
    9:57 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    @35 I am all for giving MT a little slack but are you trying to say that Jasper and Porter are something to measure up to? Porter was the worst PG that I have EVER seen at UK and I am 34. Jasper was injured his entire time @ UK. He and Bradley both played out of position for the worst coach @ UK. Any kind of comparison where you say it is ok because, “Porter did it too” is just idiotic. So before you go calling out the newest member of the ksr family for what he posts, then maybe your posts shouldn’t make you sound like a retard. just sayin’…

    maybe then ole Stu will listen to what you say, but I doubt it.

  43. anthonyeppsdrivingschool
    10:07 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    The comments by iu fans remind me of the days under billy g…. So much delusional grandeur

  44. GapToothDanny
    10:13 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    We all have a choice of two destinies:
    1. die young
    2. live long enough to become that which you once hated.

  45. Johnny W
    10:15 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    If there is one thing I’m looking forward to most Saturday it is this. Kentucky up 17 with 7 minutes to go and the IU faithful starting to exit the building and suddenly the few thousand members of Big Blue Nation who have found a way to make it into the building rise as one and chants of “Go Big Blue, Go Big Blue, Go Big Blue” start raining down over Assemble Hall. I almost feel bad for IU fans because they have been down for so long and they are Rick Pitino like premature in thinking they are back. I believe the atmosphere in the building will be very similar to the “Stevie Got Loose” UK/UL football game years ago. The difference being that Indiana doesn’t have the talent to win this game. #WinningTitle8GBB

  46. Stevie Janowski
    10:16 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    all were good except for the last one. the guy said it wouldnt effect uk players

  47. Reason
    10:17 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Can we please stop giving these Hoosiers fuel for the fire. Just ignore them and let them talk all they want. We let our team talk f

  48. Reason
    10:18 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Can we please stop giving these Hoosiers fuel for the fire. Just ignore them and let them talk all they want. We let our team talk for us. Come on ksr.

  49. Sheeeeeiiit
    10:20 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    14 – What’s up with the Jew references? Did you just take a break from an Occupy Rally?

    35 – that was funny.

    I wish Indiana was as good as they think they are or want to be, whatever. I do wish they were better in general. When I consider which rivalry game to drop, my first instinct is get rid of IU and keep UNC and UL. Then I remember 15-20 years ago the games between IU and UK were very good. They even beat us a few times. They were hard fought wins and great games for both teams. Now it’s more exciting to make fun of IU fans then the actual game. IU hangs for 10 to 20 minutes until the inevitable UK blowout. Even Tubby had IU’s #. If Tom Creamy can bring the old games back maybe it would be worth playing each year. But not the way it’s been.

    Oh yeh, Indiana drivers suck. I hope the Cats are flying. Also UK wins, starting with a big run in the second and coasts by 20+ to the end.

  50. macon_volfan
    10:24 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    couldn’t this article just as easily be about the delusion (and now 1 time reality) of UK beating UT in football? I mean year after year on here and other sites it was the same nonsense about UT and ‘this is the year’ etc, etc. And UT won and won and won (and then lost). UK will KILL Indiana on Saturday. But isn’t it the duty of a fan base to be, I don’t know, a fan of the team they support? Of course there is delusion. You just over look it and take it with a grain a salt.

    God forbid the Indiana fans at least think their team has a chance to win. As UK football fans know, every quarter century or so, you get it right.

  51. Sheeeeeiiit
    10:38 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Old School – your worse than any IU fan. I would take 100 IU posts here than 1 from you. Why do you even claim to be a UK fan? Don’t give me some trash about the good old days either. Your not the only UK fan who remembers the past. Last year all you did was moan and bitch about Cal and his one and dones. We made it to the final four though and Jones is back. You are just as wrong now as you were then. UK fans are not racist against white basketball players. Jeez, what the hell? Do you even think before you write? Go root for your Duke or I see you like IU too. Hmmmmm.

  52. Cousin Oscar
    10:42 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    Thank you Cousin Steuart for finding our Cousin Elbert. I have not seen or heard from him since he left the state rather suddenly back in 68, but I would recognize those tats, abs ,and oozing intelligence any where.

  53. racerj5
    11:02 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    40, Maybe Gimel’s mustache….or are the ‘stache and the brow one and the same?

  54. Haven’t I seen those guys on “Hillbilly Handfishin?”

  55. rixter
    11:58 pm December 8, 2011 Permalink

    How loud do you think the IU fans will be when the Hoosiers get down 15 points halfway thru the first half??

    I bet with 10 min to go in the game, the UK crowd will be bigger than the home crowd.

  56. Seriously
    12:32 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    41 – We are absolutely racist against white players. That’s why our white walk-ons get louder cheers than some starters.

    And it’s not racist to make fun of Justin Bieber hair or horrific tattoos just bc white people have them (and a lot do).

  57. Seriously
    12:37 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    And of all the coaches out there, why mention Nolan Richardson, a black coach, as your negative example??


  58. Ldbowe10
    1:53 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    #41- Go shave your balls you dusty old fart!

  59. mike burks
    6:04 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I guess burning crosses so often has kept IU fans from facing reality.

  60. Helvete
    6:16 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    UK will not have an undefeated season. I’d love to see it but there are going to be times where the Cats are going to have bad games, I just hope it isn’t during the tourny.

  61. "we got whipped"
    6:41 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    At least IU fans weren’t bragging have better warm up pants. Nothing is more intimidating that those candy cane striped pants.

  62. RickyPVoodooDoll
    8:00 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Indiana high schools do not play in front of 5,000 fans on a regular basis. And saturday, IU will not be playing New Castle, they will be play UK on national tv, and in front of 18,000, so we will see how they handle that.

  63. Clappy The Clown
    8:17 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I’ve watched IU since the the Knight era.

    IU has gone 8-46 in-conference in Cream’s 3 years. They have finished 11th, 9th & 11th in the B10.
    Their only real addition to the team is Ga-Zeller….a tall kid with potential who needs to hit the weight room.

    Everything else is the same. When you throw in the CTC factor (Coach Tom Crean a.k.a. Clappy The Clown), you have complete chaos on the sidelines to go with the court waste by-product. Watch his timeouts and get a laugh or ten. The players rule it. CTC looks like ritalin boy who forget to take his ritalin.

    CTC is a bitter, snarky, rule breaking (see Gary Harris visit) sales reptile. His charade is that he has a basketball team and he is a coach. His joke is that hoosierbillies are buying it.

    The story here is simple. Turnovers. IU will have 50 of them against this KY team. Their resulting storyline/excuse will be that they are a better team and could have beaten UK had they not turned over the ball. No joke folks….the TomCream-Aid is being swilled in Gloomington these days.

    Enjoy he Big Blue Blowout-2011 edition, and here’s to Coach Cal never once considering taking his foot off the throttle.

  64. ashland cat
    8:29 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Lets spank them by 40, we need updates of these forums after the game too!!

  65. Crawl
    9:08 am December 9, 2011 Permalink


  66. Jack
    9:59 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Remember when Mike Davis totally flipped his lid, picked up 20 technical fouls in the last 30 seconds, and cost IU a game against Kentucky. So do I, and that was the day that IU’s college basketball relevance died.

  67. @jrodwhalen
    11:12 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    Enjoyed the post! Especially since it saved me time trolling the IU boards. Best Hammer post to date. Keep it up.

  68. dots
    11:37 am December 9, 2011 Permalink

    very good post my old foe.

  69. Craig
    1:17 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    I want to demoralize IU. I want Kentucky to block so many of their shots that they’re afraid to shoot. I want fast break dunks, lobs to Davis, Lamb raining threes, and Jones posterizing people. I want to see Polson, Wiltjer, and Wloy playing out the final 5 minutes. And I want to hear what their fans have to say after getting run out of their own gym.

  70. Sparrow911
    3:05 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink

    If Louisville is Lil’ Brother, that would make Indiana the wierd, socially awkward cousin you only see once a year around Christmas…who likes to show everyone his booger collection and really beleives he is the red power-ranger with super ninja powers.

  71. TROLL
    3:23 pm December 9, 2011 Permalink


  72. Scott
    10:01 pm December 10, 2011 Permalink

    Can you believe all those Indiana fans who thought their team stood a chance? Oh wait……